The day was filled with class and my night was filled with laundry, dinner and writing my class notes for this summer's convention. With that item sucessfully scratched off the to-do list, I am back to studying the Real Estate stuff.
The last day of class is Thursday and it couldn't come soon enough. My brain is about to explode formulas and definitions all over the living room.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
Thanks for the Fish, this
News, glorious news, you fill my day with such happiness.
NEWS FLASH
Flogging the dolphin will not, repeat NOT, make you go blind.
But, you might, repeat MIGHT, go blind from taking Viagra.
And in other news relating to peni.
Sparklers are now legal in Georgia.
I had two large paragraphs venting about the alleged murderer on top of the construction crane in Buckhead. I have shortened it down to a simple four sentence message that I would like delivered to him.
"Dude, can you please come down? Climb down or jump, I don't care. But let's get on with it shall we? I have reservations at The Cheesecake Factory tonight."
I currently reading The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams. This would be the second book in the Hitchhiker's series. Below is an excerpt from this book. Don't try and apply this to anyone's opinion of our current government, I just thought this was good reading and I wanted to share.
Here, in it's entirety is Chapter 28.
The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
And so this is the situation we find: a succession of Galactic Presidents who so much enjoy the fun and palaver of being in power that they very rarely notice that they're not.
And somewhere in the shadows behind them - who?
Who can possibly rule if no one who wants to do it can be allowed to?
NEWS FLASH
Flogging the dolphin will not, repeat NOT, make you go blind.
But, you might, repeat MIGHT, go blind from taking Viagra.
And in other news relating to peni.
Sparklers are now legal in Georgia.
I had two large paragraphs venting about the alleged murderer on top of the construction crane in Buckhead. I have shortened it down to a simple four sentence message that I would like delivered to him.
"Dude, can you please come down? Climb down or jump, I don't care. But let's get on with it shall we? I have reservations at The Cheesecake Factory tonight."
I currently reading The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams. This would be the second book in the Hitchhiker's series. Below is an excerpt from this book. Don't try and apply this to anyone's opinion of our current government, I just thought this was good reading and I wanted to share.
Here, in it's entirety is Chapter 28.
The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
And so this is the situation we find: a succession of Galactic Presidents who so much enjoy the fun and palaver of being in power that they very rarely notice that they're not.
And somewhere in the shadows behind them - who?
Who can possibly rule if no one who wants to do it can be allowed to?
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Idol this...part two
Need a laugh?
Click here; then click where it says "American Idol Team Coverage Seg Five"
Enjoy!!!
Warning!!! This clip will not play in Firefox, you must use IE or Netscape.
Click here; then click where it says "American Idol Team Coverage Seg Five"
Enjoy!!!
Warning!!! This clip will not play in Firefox, you must use IE or Netscape.
Imagine this
You work for a national company with hundreds and hundreds of offices nationwide.
Your boss tells you that because your company bought a competitor there is going to be some merging of offices. Your boss gets a promotion and takes over a larger office. Meanwhile, your five co-workers are moved together to a different office run by a manager that was with the competitor your company bought out.
Your first day at this new office was today. Walking in, you had some concerns. You weren't worried, just a little uneasy about how thing were going to work. Change is rarely enjoyable.
The computers weren't working exactly right. It's the software you and your colleagues know but the other employees, your new co-workers, don't have access yet. That means you are actually going to get to work. But that's a good thing. It's when it gets slow that this job becomes horrifically unbearable.
You meet your new coworkers and your new boss. A few hours go by and you start to get adjusted. You're in sales and today was a good day. You did enough business to make getting out of bed more than worth it.
Then it happens. A little lull in the day. The traffic lightens up and your new boss asks you to do a meanial subserviant task. She asks you and one of your co-workers from the old office to do something that has never been asked of either of you at a job before. You tell yourself that it's not a big deal, but it is.
This boss walked past two of her old employees to specifically get you and your colleague to do these tasks. A line has been drawn. She just established two classes of workers. The ones your boss knows and the ones she doesn't. You and yours know the computer system and are the only ones that can actually sell. What are these other people doing, why are they getting preferential treatment?
Then she does it again. Is she trying to show you that she's the boss. It's on her name tag, you can read. You didn't need to clean windows to undertand that fact.
Let she who must be tolerated, be named, for my ranting purposes. Her name shall be Small Mitten.
Your boss tells you that because your company bought a competitor there is going to be some merging of offices. Your boss gets a promotion and takes over a larger office. Meanwhile, your five co-workers are moved together to a different office run by a manager that was with the competitor your company bought out.
Your first day at this new office was today. Walking in, you had some concerns. You weren't worried, just a little uneasy about how thing were going to work. Change is rarely enjoyable.
The computers weren't working exactly right. It's the software you and your colleagues know but the other employees, your new co-workers, don't have access yet. That means you are actually going to get to work. But that's a good thing. It's when it gets slow that this job becomes horrifically unbearable.
You meet your new coworkers and your new boss. A few hours go by and you start to get adjusted. You're in sales and today was a good day. You did enough business to make getting out of bed more than worth it.
Then it happens. A little lull in the day. The traffic lightens up and your new boss asks you to do a meanial subserviant task. She asks you and one of your co-workers from the old office to do something that has never been asked of either of you at a job before. You tell yourself that it's not a big deal, but it is.
This boss walked past two of her old employees to specifically get you and your colleague to do these tasks. A line has been drawn. She just established two classes of workers. The ones your boss knows and the ones she doesn't. You and yours know the computer system and are the only ones that can actually sell. What are these other people doing, why are they getting preferential treatment?
Then she does it again. Is she trying to show you that she's the boss. It's on her name tag, you can read. You didn't need to clean windows to undertand that fact.
Let she who must be tolerated, be named, for my ranting purposes. Her name shall be Small Mitten.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Seacrest out!!! This
Praise the Lord and pass the remote. American Idol season four is over!!!
I hate HATE American Idol. But I promised "in sickness" along with "in health", so here we are.
Let take a journey shall we? A journey that will revisit some of the moments of tonight's broadcast.
Let start with the performance of Anwar "the music teacher" Robinson and Anthony "is that a trach scar?" Federov. If they were the bread, then Kenny G was the meat in an R. Kelly sandwich. The three of them performed, "I Believe I can Fly". I believe they can't. In fact I believe they caused Pan Am flight 103 to crash.
Moving onto the debacle starring Scott "I think I'm black" Savol and Nikko "I think I'm Usher" Smith. They sang George Benson's "On Broadway" with George Benson. 'Scuse me? Did you rub my lamp? God damn it George.............I was so disappointed in you......... until....... You made them boys your backup bitches. You let them start the chart, but you brought it home. Good on ya.
On a different note, let's take a look at what America did to Carrie tonight. Carrie is sweet, innocent, and probably a virgin. She knows no wrong. Bo is a convicted heroin user, pot smoker, and has probably done more tail than Donald Duck at a "Howard the Duck" convention.
Who is better prepared for the rigors of the music industry? Bo is. America isn't going to watch Carrie 20 years from now. Her voice is going to be shot from gargling Clive Davis' sperm and her body is going to be ravaged from the all night benders. Her body isn't ready for this.
Bo has prepared and trained to do this job his entire life. Carrie, sadly I fear, won't survive long after bearing Clive's baby.
If you didn't see this yesterday, it's worth your time.
I hate HATE American Idol. But I promised "in sickness" along with "in health", so here we are.
Let take a journey shall we? A journey that will revisit some of the moments of tonight's broadcast.
Let start with the performance of Anwar "the music teacher" Robinson and Anthony "is that a trach scar?" Federov. If they were the bread, then Kenny G was the meat in an R. Kelly sandwich. The three of them performed, "I Believe I can Fly". I believe they can't. In fact I believe they caused Pan Am flight 103 to crash.
Moving onto the debacle starring Scott "I think I'm black" Savol and Nikko "I think I'm Usher" Smith. They sang George Benson's "On Broadway" with George Benson. 'Scuse me? Did you rub my lamp? God damn it George.............I was so disappointed in you......... until....... You made them boys your backup bitches. You let them start the chart, but you brought it home. Good on ya.
On a different note, let's take a look at what America did to Carrie tonight. Carrie is sweet, innocent, and probably a virgin. She knows no wrong. Bo is a convicted heroin user, pot smoker, and has probably done more tail than Donald Duck at a "Howard the Duck" convention.
Who is better prepared for the rigors of the music industry? Bo is. America isn't going to watch Carrie 20 years from now. Her voice is going to be shot from gargling Clive Davis' sperm and her body is going to be ravaged from the all night benders. Her body isn't ready for this.
Bo has prepared and trained to do this job his entire life. Carrie, sadly I fear, won't survive long after bearing Clive's baby.
If you didn't see this yesterday, it's worth your time.
Monday, May 23, 2005
tick tock this
I had what I thought was a good post but evidently I didn't have all my facts straight. I'm working on it now, but to be a cock tease it involves the following;
UGA drumline 1996
Rob H (aka, Susan)
a stalker (sort of, but more of a lusting kind of thing)
a video tape featuring Rob taken by complete strangers at the time
and how small the world actually is.
The season finale of 24 was tonight and I'm glad it's over. Season/Day 4 was the weakest to date. Don't get me wrong, 24 is still better than most of the crap on television but compared to the other seasons, this one was about as good as; The very special episode of Family Matters where Urkle got his dick stuck in his braces. Hee Hee Snort Snort!!!
Now that Jack is dead to CTU and the US government, we can have new (what a radical idea) story lines. Come on folks, as soon as Tony and Michele pledged their love for each other, you KNEW that one of the two of them was going to get kidnapped and roughed up a bit. The show has become predictable and this change is going to be great for the program going forward.
Because of my recent studying fetish, I haven't had the opportunity to post as much, but that doesn't mean I haven't been keeping up with the news.
An editorial from ajc.com.
"Reed will bring down Republicans"
As a GOP voter in recent elections, I view Ralph Reed as an embarrassment to the Republican Party of Georgia ("Casino cash fed Reed's 'Bama fight," Page One, May 18).
He repeatedly denies knowledge of the true motives of the interests he represented in both Alabama and Texas. If he isn't lying, and he was duped by the supposed "Christian" motives of these causes, how could someone so clueless be entrusted with the lieutenant governorship of our state?
The loudest of the self-righteous often are caught with either their pants down or their hand in the cookie jar.
CHUCK SIMON, Decatur
The other news item isn't funny or amusing, but I feel a responsibility to post it.
THANKS MOM!!!
UGA drumline 1996
Rob H (aka, Susan)
a stalker (sort of, but more of a lusting kind of thing)
a video tape featuring Rob taken by complete strangers at the time
and how small the world actually is.
The season finale of 24 was tonight and I'm glad it's over. Season/Day 4 was the weakest to date. Don't get me wrong, 24 is still better than most of the crap on television but compared to the other seasons, this one was about as good as; The very special episode of Family Matters where Urkle got his dick stuck in his braces. Hee Hee Snort Snort!!!
Now that Jack is dead to CTU and the US government, we can have new (what a radical idea) story lines. Come on folks, as soon as Tony and Michele pledged their love for each other, you KNEW that one of the two of them was going to get kidnapped and roughed up a bit. The show has become predictable and this change is going to be great for the program going forward.
Because of my recent studying fetish, I haven't had the opportunity to post as much, but that doesn't mean I haven't been keeping up with the news.
An editorial from ajc.com.
"Reed will bring down Republicans"
As a GOP voter in recent elections, I view Ralph Reed as an embarrassment to the Republican Party of Georgia ("Casino cash fed Reed's 'Bama fight," Page One, May 18).
He repeatedly denies knowledge of the true motives of the interests he represented in both Alabama and Texas. If he isn't lying, and he was duped by the supposed "Christian" motives of these causes, how could someone so clueless be entrusted with the lieutenant governorship of our state?
The loudest of the self-righteous often are caught with either their pants down or their hand in the cookie jar.
CHUCK SIMON, Decatur
The other news item isn't funny or amusing, but I feel a responsibility to post it.
THANKS MOM!!!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Answer this
Thanks for asking Gunner.
I passed my midterm test, no problem. But there is still much more to learn and apply. I really had no idea that there was so much to driving people around to look at houses. I'm kidding. The law in real estate for me is very fun to learn. I can't wait to apply it.
The gig was fun, small but fun crowd.
Two old friends showed up and that was Bambi and Rikki, formally of the 80s cover sensation, Mcfly. Not only was it great to see and talk to them both, but it was good to hear that they'll be back playing out again soon.
Friday night gigs are great because when you get up on Saturday you still have your weekend. The bad thing about Friday night gigs is the sales meetings that happen at 8:00 AM on Saturday morning.
It was announced yesterday why our commission checks got cut by 50%.
Here's the article.
"Cingular's Sigman to get $5M bonus for staying through 2007"
"Cingular Wireless L.L.C.'s board of directors approved a $5 million retention benefit for President and Chief Executive Officer Stan Sigman that is to be paid in cash Dec. 31, 2007, unless he quits or retires. The compensation package, which was revealed in a Securities and Exchange Commission filing, is in addition to the at least $1.1 million in base salary Sigman is set to receive beginning June 1 of this year and bonuses that will pay up to 475 percent of his base pay if Cingular meets long-term performance goals (translation: cutting the commission of your entire sales force by 50% so the stock goes up a quarter of a point). The compensation package also provides Sigman with incentive payments of $675,000 June 1, as well as $160,000 Nov. 24 every year through 2007."
Article courtesy of RCR Wireless News.
Good on ya Stan. I hope that money buys your way out of hell.
I rented Team America: World Police, but haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Movie Review coming.
I passed my midterm test, no problem. But there is still much more to learn and apply. I really had no idea that there was so much to driving people around to look at houses. I'm kidding. The law in real estate for me is very fun to learn. I can't wait to apply it.
The gig was fun, small but fun crowd.
Two old friends showed up and that was Bambi and Rikki, formally of the 80s cover sensation, Mcfly. Not only was it great to see and talk to them both, but it was good to hear that they'll be back playing out again soon.
Friday night gigs are great because when you get up on Saturday you still have your weekend. The bad thing about Friday night gigs is the sales meetings that happen at 8:00 AM on Saturday morning.
It was announced yesterday why our commission checks got cut by 50%.
Here's the article.
"Cingular's Sigman to get $5M bonus for staying through 2007"
"Cingular Wireless L.L.C.'s board of directors approved a $5 million retention benefit for President and Chief Executive Officer Stan Sigman that is to be paid in cash Dec. 31, 2007, unless he quits or retires. The compensation package, which was revealed in a Securities and Exchange Commission filing, is in addition to the at least $1.1 million in base salary Sigman is set to receive beginning June 1 of this year and bonuses that will pay up to 475 percent of his base pay if Cingular meets long-term performance goals (translation: cutting the commission of your entire sales force by 50% so the stock goes up a quarter of a point). The compensation package also provides Sigman with incentive payments of $675,000 June 1, as well as $160,000 Nov. 24 every year through 2007."
Article courtesy of RCR Wireless News.
Good on ya Stan. I hope that money buys your way out of hell.
I rented Team America: World Police, but haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Movie Review coming.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Test this
I've been swamped studying for my midterm tomorrow.
Don't forget, Funkle Ester, Friday night, Andrew's Upstairs.
Did you hear about the CBS reporter that said "fuck" on the air today?
I can't find a news story yet, but regardless, that's some funny shit.
'Member the time when I got called by a headhunter and she made me feel oh so good? Then she was going to present me to the company she was recruiting for? Yeah, I didn't get the job. I got a one sentence email from the headhunter stating as such.
Seeing Mike on TV all week long has been fun and you only have one more night to catch him on Wheel of Fortune. He's the skinny guy with the headphones on conducting the Mizzou band.
Don't forget, Funkle Ester, Friday night, Andrew's Upstairs.
Did you hear about the CBS reporter that said "fuck" on the air today?
I can't find a news story yet, but regardless, that's some funny shit.
'Member the time when I got called by a headhunter and she made me feel oh so good? Then she was going to present me to the company she was recruiting for? Yeah, I didn't get the job. I got a one sentence email from the headhunter stating as such.
Seeing Mike on TV all week long has been fun and you only have one more night to catch him on Wheel of Fortune. He's the skinny guy with the headphones on conducting the Mizzou band.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
I did something stupid tonight.
I was nice.
Ever do something nice and it immediately bites you in the ass?
During the week the retail store closes at 8:00 PM. So at 7:55, when there is one remaining person in the store you can bet your bottom dollar that someone is locking the front doors. Tonight, I locked the doors and promptly went to my desk to close my drawer.
Then at 7:58 it happened.
The noise of a rattling door.
The stare.
The glance at the watch.
The louder noise of a rattling door.
The stare.
The muffled sound of; "It's not eight o'clock yet."
GOD DAMN IT!!!
I opened the door.
My intention of opening the door had been to simply inform them that we were, in fact, closed. That was unacceptable. The son was going out of town tomorrow and HAD to be helped tonight. Their request was a simple one and I could handle it quickly and without much pain.
In a random and rare moment of pity for a fellow human being, I let them in. This will be the last time this happens for a very long time.
I fixed their minor request quickly, stood up, and attempted to walk them to the door. Then it happened. The bitch customer spoke. She said;
"While we're here, Billy Bob needs a new phone, I want to change my account, and I think your ass needs a penis in it."
Sigh............I brought this on myself. Lesson learned.
I consoled myself in the fact that this East Snobb family was going to earn me a whopping 80 cents in commission. Wait, the government taxes commission at about 40%, so make that 48 cents.
God Damn It!!!
On a much brighter note, 78 Days until Vegas!!!
Reminder:
Funkle
Friday Night
Andrew's Upstairs
I was nice.
Ever do something nice and it immediately bites you in the ass?
During the week the retail store closes at 8:00 PM. So at 7:55, when there is one remaining person in the store you can bet your bottom dollar that someone is locking the front doors. Tonight, I locked the doors and promptly went to my desk to close my drawer.
Then at 7:58 it happened.
The noise of a rattling door.
The stare.
The glance at the watch.
The louder noise of a rattling door.
The stare.
The muffled sound of; "It's not eight o'clock yet."
GOD DAMN IT!!!
I opened the door.
My intention of opening the door had been to simply inform them that we were, in fact, closed. That was unacceptable. The son was going out of town tomorrow and HAD to be helped tonight. Their request was a simple one and I could handle it quickly and without much pain.
In a random and rare moment of pity for a fellow human being, I let them in. This will be the last time this happens for a very long time.
I fixed their minor request quickly, stood up, and attempted to walk them to the door. Then it happened. The bitch customer spoke. She said;
"While we're here, Billy Bob needs a new phone, I want to change my account, and I think your ass needs a penis in it."
Sigh............I brought this on myself. Lesson learned.
I consoled myself in the fact that this East Snobb family was going to earn me a whopping 80 cents in commission. Wait, the government taxes commission at about 40%, so make that 48 cents.
God Damn It!!!
On a much brighter note, 78 Days until Vegas!!!
Reminder:
Funkle
Friday Night
Andrew's Upstairs
Play this
We have known for sometime that the Modern Skirts were playing Music Midtown. What we didn't know was when they would be playing. Now we know and knowing is...........
Saturday, June 11, 3:45 PM, 99x Locals Only Stage
Additionally, Dave and I will be playing with them. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am.
In other self promotion news, Funkle Ester is playing this Friday night at Andrew's Upstairs. Early show, 9:30 - midnight.
Saturday, June 11, 3:45 PM, 99x Locals Only Stage
Additionally, Dave and I will be playing with them. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am.
In other self promotion news, Funkle Ester is playing this Friday night at Andrew's Upstairs. Early show, 9:30 - midnight.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Solve this
Monday, May 16, 2005
Run it up this
Well folks it's that time of year.
It's the time when Kings go off to war and the nominees for the Flagpole Music Awards are announced.
Over the past two years Funkle Ester has been nominated in the categories of; Best Use of Electronica by a Cable Access Show, Best Folk Porn Soundtrack, and Best Punk Album to Toss Midgets By. Why does Punk music and midget tossing go so well together?
For the past two years, Funkle has been nominated in the Best Cover Band category. We have never won. We have thought about cashing in on this always-nominated-never-win situation, by changing our name to "The Susan Lucci Cover Band". Being nominated is of course great and an honor but I heard winning is like sucking Jack Daniels from Pam Anderson's left teet.
To be totally honest, I do not take this award seriously. For Christ's sake I am in a cover band. It's not like we are writing or performing music that is going to change the world. But we do enjoy what we do and, if I may, we are good at it too. I've seen our competition and frankly, I didn't know that some of those groups qualified as a bands.
In years past the citizens of Athens nominated bands in the appropriate categories, a list of finalists were compilated, published in the Flagpole and then voted upon by the readers. This year, Flagpole decided that their superior opinions should drive who should be nominated and thus receive the awards. They created the nominee list without any input from their readers, fans of live music, or musicians. Funkle Ester and some good acts (in my opinion) were left out.
You might be asking, "If you don't care about the award why are you writing/bitching about it?"
I had a cute anecdote to answer that but I forgot it. But it was something about being in high school again and wanting to fuck the prom queen, blah, blah, blah. You get the picture.
So if you don't mind and you have a few minutes to kill. Go here, fill out the top, scroll down to "Cover Band" Write "Funkle Ester" in the blank, make sure the circle to the left has been "clicked", then scroll all the way down and click "Submit".
If you want to vote for other categories, but need some guidance, might I suggest the following.
Jazz - Grogus
R&B/Funk/Reggae - ORI (I don't think this is the right genre to put them in, but this IS the work of the Flagpole)
Punk - SIDS
Rock - five eight
Pop - Modern Skirts (write in vote)
You can only vote once per IP address and per name. So if you have multiple computers, you'll have to create a new name every time you vote. Spread the word, and thanks for your votes.
It's the time when Kings go off to war and the nominees for the Flagpole Music Awards are announced.
Over the past two years Funkle Ester has been nominated in the categories of; Best Use of Electronica by a Cable Access Show, Best Folk Porn Soundtrack, and Best Punk Album to Toss Midgets By. Why does Punk music and midget tossing go so well together?
For the past two years, Funkle has been nominated in the Best Cover Band category. We have never won. We have thought about cashing in on this always-nominated-never-win situation, by changing our name to "The Susan Lucci Cover Band". Being nominated is of course great and an honor but I heard winning is like sucking Jack Daniels from Pam Anderson's left teet.
To be totally honest, I do not take this award seriously. For Christ's sake I am in a cover band. It's not like we are writing or performing music that is going to change the world. But we do enjoy what we do and, if I may, we are good at it too. I've seen our competition and frankly, I didn't know that some of those groups qualified as a bands.
In years past the citizens of Athens nominated bands in the appropriate categories, a list of finalists were compilated, published in the Flagpole and then voted upon by the readers. This year, Flagpole decided that their superior opinions should drive who should be nominated and thus receive the awards. They created the nominee list without any input from their readers, fans of live music, or musicians. Funkle Ester and some good acts (in my opinion) were left out.
You might be asking, "If you don't care about the award why are you writing/bitching about it?"
I had a cute anecdote to answer that but I forgot it. But it was something about being in high school again and wanting to fuck the prom queen, blah, blah, blah. You get the picture.
So if you don't mind and you have a few minutes to kill. Go here, fill out the top, scroll down to "Cover Band" Write "Funkle Ester" in the blank, make sure the circle to the left has been "clicked", then scroll all the way down and click "Submit".
If you want to vote for other categories, but need some guidance, might I suggest the following.
Jazz - Grogus
R&B/Funk/Reggae - ORI (I don't think this is the right genre to put them in, but this IS the work of the Flagpole)
Punk - SIDS
Rock - five eight
Pop - Modern Skirts (write in vote)
You can only vote once per IP address and per name. So if you have multiple computers, you'll have to create a new name every time you vote. Spread the word, and thanks for your votes.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Monkey this..............updated 10:40 PM
"The sad part is, he wasn't always evil,"
Last week I spent some birthday money at Amazon.com but because I wanted to save a few bucks I choose Ground Shipping. Ground Shipping should be called, "We'll get it there when we damn well feel like it."
One week and four days later (good job UPS) I am happy to report that I am now the proud owner of the first two season of The Family Guy and the first two seasons Penn and Teller's Bullshit. Just for shits, giggles and posterity I also ordered Clue on DVD.
Here is your standard run-of-the-mill story to take out of context and laugh at.
I love the quotes in this article.
Peeing your pants is cool.............this
Back to school,
Back to school,
To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.
I got my lunch packed up,
my boots tied tight,
I hope I don't get in a fight.
Ohhhh, back to school.
Back to school.
Back to school.
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!!!
I was cautiously optimistic about what I would find heading into my first day of real estate school. The morning class was as expected. A colossal waste of time and energy. I listened as the instructor went through the rules of the class. Really, who needs to be told not to bring their pets to class?
The afternoon session was the complete opposite. A ton of information and at a pretty good pace. I had so much fun learning that I can't wait to buy my next house. I might have a clue as to what we are doing next time around.
I had such a good time learning today that on the way home I bought some index cards. Index Cards so I could make flash cards. Flash cards to study with. Sweet Evil Jesus, what happened to me!!!
The downside of the class is that there is no coffee. At least none that the students have access to. After each break the instructor always had a fresh cup, but none for us. It's almost like he was flaunting it in my face.
"Nah-nah, I have coffee and you don't!!!"
Watch out fucker! I'll pour that hot brown goodness all over your crotch.
One more thing. This is what I was trying to say yesterday.
Back to school,
To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.
I got my lunch packed up,
my boots tied tight,
I hope I don't get in a fight.
Ohhhh, back to school.
Back to school.
Back to school.
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!!!
I was cautiously optimistic about what I would find heading into my first day of real estate school. The morning class was as expected. A colossal waste of time and energy. I listened as the instructor went through the rules of the class. Really, who needs to be told not to bring their pets to class?
The afternoon session was the complete opposite. A ton of information and at a pretty good pace. I had so much fun learning that I can't wait to buy my next house. I might have a clue as to what we are doing next time around.
I had such a good time learning today that on the way home I bought some index cards. Index Cards so I could make flash cards. Flash cards to study with. Sweet Evil Jesus, what happened to me!!!
The downside of the class is that there is no coffee. At least none that the students have access to. After each break the instructor always had a fresh cup, but none for us. It's almost like he was flaunting it in my face.
"Nah-nah, I have coffee and you don't!!!"
Watch out fucker! I'll pour that hot brown goodness all over your crotch.
One more thing. This is what I was trying to say yesterday.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Finish this
If you are not watching the Amazing Race..............What the fuck are you watching?
This show gets better every season and tonight's finish was outstanding. We were actually cheering very loudly, bouncing up and down on the sofa. Our poor sofa.
In case you haven't been reading the news recently, our beloved Governor has been taking away our rights one signature at a time. Today it was this:
"The law requires physicians in Georgia to inform women seeking an abortion about the medical risks, probable gestational age of the fetus, fetal pain and alternatives to abortion, including adoption. After receiving the information, women have to wait at least 24 hours to get an abortion." (Information quote courtesy of the ajc.com)
I am fully aware that I do not have a vagina, so my opinion on abortion is about as relevant as my opinion of which tampons to buy. Scented or unscented? Cardboard or plastic applicator? Don't even get me started on absorbency; lites, regular, super, super plus, and maxipax? Jesus H. Christ!!! I can't decide what to eat half the time, thank God I don't have to choose something to shove up my penis once a month.
When I was little (read 7 or so) my parents took me and I marched in, a pro-life rally outside of an abortion clinic..........Let that sink in for a second................ok........... To my defense, A) I didn't know any better and B) Mom and Dad promised some post-marching beignets from Huey's and back then I would do anything for a beignet form Huey's.
Since those proud days of growing up in Snobb County, I have realized that I can have my own opinions separate from my parents, peer group, and stereotyped demographic and here it is.
I think abortion is wrong, horrible and shouldn't happen. But the government should abso-fucking-lutly NOT tell a woman what to do with her body. Ever.
This law is a slap in the face to women. Forcing a woman to wait 24 hours after getting this forced information or to "sleep on it" so to speak is an outrage. Let us look at what a woman must go through in order to get an abortion.
She must first...
Get in the car;
Drive to an abortion clinic;
Walk through the front door and past whatever uber-dicks are protesting and taking pictures of her and finally...
Ask for an abortion.
That's guts and I think (going out on a limb here) that it is not a decision that is ever made lightly. I don't think women need an extra night to "sleep on it". I think they need a government that protects their rights.
It is not the government's job to legislate morality.
Here is my revised list of what the government should do;
Keep us safe from our enemies.
Give us a safe place so our kids can learn.
Make sure our beef and water are safe to consume.
Make all of the roads smooth and safe.
Cure all disease.
Work on bringing Elvis, John Lennon, Freddie Mercury, Miles Davis, Janis Joplin, John Belushi, Jim Henson, Phil Hartman, Gilda Radner, and Lenny Bruce back from the dead.
This show gets better every season and tonight's finish was outstanding. We were actually cheering very loudly, bouncing up and down on the sofa. Our poor sofa.
In case you haven't been reading the news recently, our beloved Governor has been taking away our rights one signature at a time. Today it was this:
"The law requires physicians in Georgia to inform women seeking an abortion about the medical risks, probable gestational age of the fetus, fetal pain and alternatives to abortion, including adoption. After receiving the information, women have to wait at least 24 hours to get an abortion." (Information quote courtesy of the ajc.com)
I am fully aware that I do not have a vagina, so my opinion on abortion is about as relevant as my opinion of which tampons to buy. Scented or unscented? Cardboard or plastic applicator? Don't even get me started on absorbency; lites, regular, super, super plus, and maxipax? Jesus H. Christ!!! I can't decide what to eat half the time, thank God I don't have to choose something to shove up my penis once a month.
When I was little (read 7 or so) my parents took me and I marched in, a pro-life rally outside of an abortion clinic..........Let that sink in for a second................ok........... To my defense, A) I didn't know any better and B) Mom and Dad promised some post-marching beignets from Huey's and back then I would do anything for a beignet form Huey's.
Since those proud days of growing up in Snobb County, I have realized that I can have my own opinions separate from my parents, peer group, and stereotyped demographic and here it is.
I think abortion is wrong, horrible and shouldn't happen. But the government should abso-fucking-lutly NOT tell a woman what to do with her body. Ever.
This law is a slap in the face to women. Forcing a woman to wait 24 hours after getting this forced information or to "sleep on it" so to speak is an outrage. Let us look at what a woman must go through in order to get an abortion.
She must first...
Get in the car;
Drive to an abortion clinic;
Walk through the front door and past whatever uber-dicks are protesting and taking pictures of her and finally...
Ask for an abortion.
That's guts and I think (going out on a limb here) that it is not a decision that is ever made lightly. I don't think women need an extra night to "sleep on it". I think they need a government that protects their rights.
It is not the government's job to legislate morality.
Here is my revised list of what the government should do;
Keep us safe from our enemies.
Give us a safe place so our kids can learn.
Make sure our beef and water are safe to consume.
Make all of the roads smooth and safe.
Cure all disease.
Work on bringing Elvis, John Lennon, Freddie Mercury, Miles Davis, Janis Joplin, John Belushi, Jim Henson, Phil Hartman, Gilda Radner, and Lenny Bruce back from the dead.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Ejaculate this
This post is for my Vegas friend, Steve, who recently started reading this. If you have met Steve, this will be funny to you, if you don't, sorry for the inside joke.
Enjoy!!!
(Steve, click the word "Enjoy".)
Enjoy!!!
(Steve, click the word "Enjoy".)
Murphy's law this
God is really starting to piss me off.
Recap: I had and got laid off from two jobs in the hospitality industry. I haven't been able to find a job as an event planner so I landed working a part-time retail job. I recognize the need to be knocked down a notch or two. Who can't use a wake up call every now and then as to the size and shape of their ego? I think we would be a more pleasant society if we all got our asses handed to us a little more often. I can think of two executives that this would do a world of good for. But I digress.
I got life's little message, dropped my ideas of being an event planner and decided to embark on a new career. A new opportunity awaits. I was leaving the past in the past and looking positively towards the horizon. Chapter two of my working life, full steam ahead. Right?
Wrong.
I got a phone call today. Over the course of the conversation/interview she said things to me like;
"I'm recruiting a social event planner for a national chain."
"I love your resume."
"You would be a great fit."
"It pays more than you've ever been paid before."
"I would like to present you to the hiring agent tomorrow."
"I think you would be a great fit."
"I hear you are hung like a horse."
Getting a phone call like that, THREE FUCKING DAYS before I start my real estate class is both the most wonderful and most frustrating thing in the world.
Great (and you'll know what I'm talking about if you've been a victim of bad management or a down sizing) in the way that someone wants you. Someone needs you. Someone sees something in you that no one else does. A truly great feeling.
Unbelievably frustrating in that why does the phone ring now? Why does life wait until I have resigned myself to the fact that I can't do what I love? Why does the phone ring after I have invested a chuck of change in a real estate course?
Of course it was just a job interview and I'm keeping that in the front most part of my brain.
Can life please let me have a career and then leave me alone? At least for a few years.
The recruiter is presenting me tomorrow so think happy thoughts, pray if you do, or if you would rather rub a rabbit's foot, I have 8 for sale, but they come in groups of four. I'm still going to go through the real estate classes, because as I've found out over the past two years, you can never not be prepared to be let go.
Recap: I had and got laid off from two jobs in the hospitality industry. I haven't been able to find a job as an event planner so I landed working a part-time retail job. I recognize the need to be knocked down a notch or two. Who can't use a wake up call every now and then as to the size and shape of their ego? I think we would be a more pleasant society if we all got our asses handed to us a little more often. I can think of two executives that this would do a world of good for. But I digress.
I got life's little message, dropped my ideas of being an event planner and decided to embark on a new career. A new opportunity awaits. I was leaving the past in the past and looking positively towards the horizon. Chapter two of my working life, full steam ahead. Right?
Wrong.
I got a phone call today. Over the course of the conversation/interview she said things to me like;
"I'm recruiting a social event planner for a national chain."
"I love your resume."
"You would be a great fit."
"It pays more than you've ever been paid before."
"I would like to present you to the hiring agent tomorrow."
"I think you would be a great fit."
"I hear you are hung like a horse."
Getting a phone call like that, THREE FUCKING DAYS before I start my real estate class is both the most wonderful and most frustrating thing in the world.
Great (and you'll know what I'm talking about if you've been a victim of bad management or a down sizing) in the way that someone wants you. Someone needs you. Someone sees something in you that no one else does. A truly great feeling.
Unbelievably frustrating in that why does the phone ring now? Why does life wait until I have resigned myself to the fact that I can't do what I love? Why does the phone ring after I have invested a chuck of change in a real estate course?
Of course it was just a job interview and I'm keeping that in the front most part of my brain.
Can life please let me have a career and then leave me alone? At least for a few years.
The recruiter is presenting me tomorrow so think happy thoughts, pray if you do, or if you would rather rub a rabbit's foot, I have 8 for sale, but they come in groups of four. I'm still going to go through the real estate classes, because as I've found out over the past two years, you can never not be prepared to be let go.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
I do this
Funkle had a private party this weekend. We never know what to expect when we do these private parties. The gig was good, the check was large, and the people we played for were UGA cheerin', God fearin' folk from Tate County. It was a ton of fun, but let me give you two visuals from the wedding. 1) The mother of the bride was barefoot from the time the ceremony ended until the end of the party and 2) I have never seen that much cleavage on a bride, ever.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Roast Update
The plans for the Roast of Brett Bawcum are coming along swimmingly.
When? Saturday, June 4th
Where? Upstairs at Tasty World, Athens, Georgia
Price? A small five dollar cover with all of the profits going to the Roger Dancz Scholarship Fund.
Time? Doors will open at 7:00 PM for gathering, socializing, fun, and fellowship. The roasting will start at 8:00 PM. We will be wrapping things up around 10 but I'm sure we will continue to celebrate afterwards at another establishment in downtown Athens.
Tasty Beverages? The bar will be open from 7:00 on. They accept cash and major credit cards.
There are no major events going on in Athens that weekend so for out-of-towners there are plenty of hotel rooms available.
There are still plenty of things that need to be done. If you would like to be involved in any way or if you have a funny story to share and you can't be there, please contact myself or Gunner.
Hope to see you there!!!
When? Saturday, June 4th
Where? Upstairs at Tasty World, Athens, Georgia
Price? A small five dollar cover with all of the profits going to the Roger Dancz Scholarship Fund.
Time? Doors will open at 7:00 PM for gathering, socializing, fun, and fellowship. The roasting will start at 8:00 PM. We will be wrapping things up around 10 but I'm sure we will continue to celebrate afterwards at another establishment in downtown Athens.
Tasty Beverages? The bar will be open from 7:00 on. They accept cash and major credit cards.
There are no major events going on in Athens that weekend so for out-of-towners there are plenty of hotel rooms available.
There are still plenty of things that need to be done. If you would like to be involved in any way or if you have a funny story to share and you can't be there, please contact myself or Gunner.
Hope to see you there!!!
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Do this
Ever wonder what your stuffed animals did when you weren't watching?
Here ya go.
Safe to play at work.
Here ya go.
Safe to play at work.
Drink this
This might be the best invention ever.
Now if they could only invent a ring that pours a Jack and Diet Coke, I'd be all set.
Now if they could only invent a ring that pours a Jack and Diet Coke, I'd be all set.
Movie wing this
Last night I decided to venture out and find excitement in the form of a movie.
I went to an evening showing Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at the theatre on Delk Road.
I enjoyed this and the rest of the books in the series growing up. I was excited to hear about the movie but not in a "Oh My God they're making a sequel to Bridget Jones' Diary" kind of way. This particular trailer, released months ago showed me that it would be funny. Then there was this trailer and it also was funny and made fun of itself. The two good trailers made me resign myself to the following fact. I was going to see this movie.
Growing up I thought the books were just entertainment; just fun fiction and mindless brainfodder. Turns out I was wrong. I am currently rereading the book and this time I noticed something. Douglas Adams wasn't just telling a story. The book is mixed with political euphemisms and social anecdotes about the world in which we live. Nothing profound, just his humorous views of red tape, government bureaucracy, social apathy, etc, etc.
So, the movie...........
This will be the last time I attend a movie at this particular location. The seats were uncomfortable and all of the padding on the arm rests had been warn off. To top it off the staff was less than friendly. I'm glad that tipping hasn't sneaked it's way into the movie theatre business.
The movie was good, I laughed outloud at times, not good enough to own, but I would go see a sequel if they made one. It stayed close to the plot but it left out many of Adams' clever anecdotes. To sum up, it's an adventure-in-space-that-is-funny-in-a-dry-British-way.
After the movie, I had a craving for wings. I should have gone to Wild Wing, but for whatever reason, I went to Sidelines instead. I enjoyed their medium flavored wings, watched a little of whatever baseball game was on the TV and headed on home. I will not be going back to Sidelines to eat for a while. Those wings kept me up all night. They would wake me up and say;
"Holy Shit!!! Run to the Bathroom RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!"
So run I did and sat I did and unpleasant it was.
Repeat every hour.
I called out of work because jogging from my desk to the bathroom all day long didn't sound like fun and if I have to spend that much quality time on the toilet, I'd prefer the toilet to be mine. The symptoms subsided about noon and I've only been visited once since. Thank God for Amodium. I'm heading into work in a short while and hopefully my jogging will be kept to a minimum.
I went to an evening showing Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at the theatre on Delk Road.
I enjoyed this and the rest of the books in the series growing up. I was excited to hear about the movie but not in a "Oh My God they're making a sequel to Bridget Jones' Diary" kind of way. This particular trailer, released months ago showed me that it would be funny. Then there was this trailer and it also was funny and made fun of itself. The two good trailers made me resign myself to the following fact. I was going to see this movie.
Growing up I thought the books were just entertainment; just fun fiction and mindless brainfodder. Turns out I was wrong. I am currently rereading the book and this time I noticed something. Douglas Adams wasn't just telling a story. The book is mixed with political euphemisms and social anecdotes about the world in which we live. Nothing profound, just his humorous views of red tape, government bureaucracy, social apathy, etc, etc.
So, the movie...........
This will be the last time I attend a movie at this particular location. The seats were uncomfortable and all of the padding on the arm rests had been warn off. To top it off the staff was less than friendly. I'm glad that tipping hasn't sneaked it's way into the movie theatre business.
The movie was good, I laughed outloud at times, not good enough to own, but I would go see a sequel if they made one. It stayed close to the plot but it left out many of Adams' clever anecdotes. To sum up, it's an adventure-in-space-that-is-funny-in-a-dry-British-way.
After the movie, I had a craving for wings. I should have gone to Wild Wing, but for whatever reason, I went to Sidelines instead. I enjoyed their medium flavored wings, watched a little of whatever baseball game was on the TV and headed on home. I will not be going back to Sidelines to eat for a while. Those wings kept me up all night. They would wake me up and say;
"Holy Shit!!! Run to the Bathroom RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!"
So run I did and sat I did and unpleasant it was.
Repeat every hour.
I called out of work because jogging from my desk to the bathroom all day long didn't sound like fun and if I have to spend that much quality time on the toilet, I'd prefer the toilet to be mine. The symptoms subsided about noon and I've only been visited once since. Thank God for Amodium. I'm heading into work in a short while and hopefully my jogging will be kept to a minimum.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Fix this and predict this
Last week a co-worker told me a funny story that happen to him at work. It involved a customer and his 8 year old son that came into the store.
Here is the abbreviated version.
Co-Worker: Hello, can I help you?
Customer: The keypad on my phone doesn't work.
Co-Workers: But the rest of the phone works?
Customer: Yes.
Co-Worker: Did anything happen to it?
Customer: No, it just stopped working.
Co-Worker: So nothing happened to it at all?
Customer: Not that I know of.
Son (loudly): But Dad, don't you remember? It worked just fine until you spilled Gatorade on it.
The coworker said that snickers could be heard throughout the store.
New topic.
Step right up and place your bets.
If you remember, I was right (doesn't happen often) about the Spears/Federline baby. Not only was I correct in predicting that she was preggers, but I did so before the tabloids starting running it and weeks before she announced the news herself on her website.
And now, I am going to attempt to do it again. I have another little piece of celebrity sleaze that will be hitting the tabloids soon.
Ready?
Jessica and Nick are getting a divorce.
I'm further more going to predict that this will break during the ramp up of press for the Dukes of Hazzard movie, slated to open July 29th.
Can you tell that it's my day off and I'm bored?
Here is the abbreviated version.
Co-Worker: Hello, can I help you?
Customer: The keypad on my phone doesn't work.
Co-Workers: But the rest of the phone works?
Customer: Yes.
Co-Worker: Did anything happen to it?
Customer: No, it just stopped working.
Co-Worker: So nothing happened to it at all?
Customer: Not that I know of.
Son (loudly): But Dad, don't you remember? It worked just fine until you spilled Gatorade on it.
The coworker said that snickers could be heard throughout the store.
New topic.
Step right up and place your bets.
If you remember, I was right (doesn't happen often) about the Spears/Federline baby. Not only was I correct in predicting that she was preggers, but I did so before the tabloids starting running it and weeks before she announced the news herself on her website.
And now, I am going to attempt to do it again. I have another little piece of celebrity sleaze that will be hitting the tabloids soon.
Ready?
Jessica and Nick are getting a divorce.
I'm further more going to predict that this will break during the ramp up of press for the Dukes of Hazzard movie, slated to open July 29th.
Can you tell that it's my day off and I'm bored?
I wanna be a..................this
HELP!!!
My wife was discriminated against and no one is taking up her cause!!!
A news story aired tonight about a group called Hispanics Across America. HAA is very upset with the runaway bride, Jennifer Wilbanks. Their reason? HAA feels that Jennifer discriminated against Hispanics everywhere when she said, during her 911 phone call, that a Hispanic male kidnapped her. Here's a portion of the 911 call taken from AJC.com
Dispatcher: Do you know where your location is?
Wilbanks: At some street ... I, I don't even know who I am. And I'm just sitting here.
Dispatcher: Did they hurt you in any way? Jennifer, do you need medical attention
Wilbanks: No, they didn't hurt me. I'm talking to them right now...
Dispatcher: What happened?
Wilbanks: I was kidnapped from
Dispatcher: Who did this to you?
Wilbanks: I don't know.
Dispatcher: Did they just drop you off right now?
Wilbanks: I don't know how long ago it was. They didn't drop me off here. Away from here. On some street, I don't know where I am...It was a Hispanic man and a Caucasian woman. It happened in
Dispatcher: Was he Hispanic or Native American?
Wilbanks: Hispanic.
Before we get too deep into HAA and what they want and why they are discriminating; let's take a moment to think about Jennifer. Something wasn't right for her to make such a drastic decision, she has problems and she thought the only way to deal with them was to run.
She was also under great duress when she made her phone call to 911. For God's sake she was calling from a 7-11..........in
I feel sorry for this woman, her family, the volunteers, FBI, GBI, police, everyone involved. It's a shitty situation. But, correct me if I'm wrong, until she lied to authorities, she did nothing illegal.
It is completely legal to leave your place of residence and go somewhere else without telling anyone where you are going. What she did hurt a lot of people and wasted a lot of tax payers dollars, but it was legal. Personally, I think she should pay for the time and tools of the people involved, but I don't think we should charge her with a crime. She has enough other things to deal with right now.
Ok kids, back to HAA, which, by the way, I find the acronym for Hispanics Across America pretty darn funny. But it's nothing to laugh at.
HAA feels that naming Hispanics as one of her kidnappers was not acceptable behavior and their point is fairly simple. If the FBI had not gotten to the bottom of Jennifer's lies in the timely manner in which they did; everyone would be on the lookout for a Hispanic man in a blue van. Who knows what could have happened at that point. Vigilante violence or police beatings *could* have ensued.
The president of HAA, Fernando Mateo, said; "She (Jennifer) needs to understand that she caused a lot of harm to Hispanics in her community and around the nation.
"Mateo also told the Gwinnett County District Attorney that he wanted Jennifer to serve community service in a Hispanic community as part of her sentence.
HAA has promised to picket Jennifer Wilbanks' home until she apologizes for telling police that a Hispanic man kidnapped her.
Ok, fine.
But HAA is only taking up the cause for the *Hispanic man*. They are leaving the other half of the accused out of the picture. White women in blue vans everywhere were also unfairly cast into peril as well.
What's good for one group is good for another.
White women of the world unite!!!
How dare Jennifer defame your kind, you should fight back.
Demand an apology!!!
Demand restitution!!!
Demand that she serve community service in your neighborhood.
What's fair for one is fair for all.........right?
On a totally different subject...................
Don't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Monday, May 02, 2005
Read this
While having my private post dinner time in the upstairs bathroom, I took the opportunity to kill some brain cells by reading this week's issue of People. I found myself actually talking back to the magazine; questioning it and at times getting a touch pissy.
I don't have anything else to write about so with that in mind I present to you....
"Deep thoughts while reading this week's issue of People on the can"
Is Britnany Spears ever NOT vacationing?
Why does Paris Hilton always has the same "head-cocked-to-the-side" pose, when she's being photographed?
Jay Leno is a massive tool.
Why won't Tori Spelling just go away? and what business does she have in designing clothes for dogs?
The movie reviews are geared towards their target demographic, and a straight 29 year old man probably isn't close to their target audience. That explains why all of the movies I want to see get bad reviews.
Rosie O'Donnell is a massive tool.
I've heard Kristin Chenoweth sing. Her album should not get anywhere close to the four stars that they gave her. What the fuck were they listening to?
Mary Kay Letourneau and her fiance are in a photo and she is wearing a beret made by and featuring the Kangol logo. I'm sure Kangol loved that free publicity. That's a slogan that writes itself; "Want to sleep with your student? Try a Kangol beret!!!"
That IS a neat website.
Ryan Seascrest is a massive tool.
Holy MmmBop Batman!!! Taylor Hanson, the middle Hanson brother, is married and his wife just gave birth.....to their second child. Raise your hand if you feel old.
I don't have anything else to write about so with that in mind I present to you....
"Deep thoughts while reading this week's issue of People on the can"
Is Britnany Spears ever NOT vacationing?
Why does Paris Hilton always has the same "head-cocked-to-the-side" pose, when she's being photographed?
Jay Leno is a massive tool.
Why won't Tori Spelling just go away? and what business does she have in designing clothes for dogs?
The movie reviews are geared towards their target demographic, and a straight 29 year old man probably isn't close to their target audience. That explains why all of the movies I want to see get bad reviews.
Rosie O'Donnell is a massive tool.
I've heard Kristin Chenoweth sing. Her album should not get anywhere close to the four stars that they gave her. What the fuck were they listening to?
Mary Kay Letourneau and her fiance are in a photo and she is wearing a beret made by and featuring the Kangol logo. I'm sure Kangol loved that free publicity. That's a slogan that writes itself; "Want to sleep with your student? Try a Kangol beret!!!"
That IS a neat website.
Ryan Seascrest is a massive tool.
Holy MmmBop Batman!!! Taylor Hanson, the middle Hanson brother, is married and his wife just gave birth.....to their second child. Raise your hand if you feel old.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Weekend, briefly.
Friday:
K-Bob is still the best sandwich in Athens.
I discovered a new wheat beer called Erdinger. Light, not complicated, but tasty and it went down smooth.
Gunnison opened for us. Kevin "Slide" Hyde, Chris Costigan, Marlon Patton are some of the musicians and they were unbelievable. Abso-fucking-lutley great!!!
Funkle Ester went on after that. It's tough following musicians like Kevin, Chris, and Marlon, but it was fine, a good crowd. All in all, I thought we put on something fun to watch.
Got back to Bawcum's about 3 to watch the great news that the jogging bride was found safely. I was so happy that we didn't have to go through another trail of a husband killing his wife. I went to bed happy and drunk.
Saturday:
We had every intention of going to play golf but God and his weather had other plans.
Brett and I ran around town for a few hours, picked up breakfast and headed back to the house this time to find out that the kidnapped bride was in fact a runaway. She was successful in wasting the time and money of the police, GBI, FBI and countless volunteers.
I really pity the woman and she obviously has some problems. I just don't think my tax dollars should have to pay for her getting cold feet. Don't press charges against her, just send her a bill.
Back to Saturday.
After a very successful afternoon nap we headed downtown for a surprise-welcome-home-party for Dave's lady, The Bean. She was surprised so the party was deemed a success.
We all left together about 9 and headed to The Grill for a group dinner. The Grill is as much a landmark as it is a really good way to describe the "towny" part of the population of Athens. The food was good, and Jesus, there isn't much I wouldn't do for their fried okra.
After filling our tummies we watched the end of the last race then headed back to Tasty World so we could play with The Modern Skirts.
There were two bands before the Skirts. The first band called, Y-O-U, started late and played too long. The second band, Psychic Hearts, was a steaming pile of elephant dung. Seriously, I'm thinking of following them around just to boo them night after night with the hope that they will give up and either A) shit their wrists or B) go back to serving corndogs at Carnivals.
In between bands I had an odd experience...
While in the process of adjusting her sweater/jacket that was wrapped around her waist, a woman I don't know flicked my right testicle. Can you say ouch?
After noticing that I had grabbed my crotch and looked unhappy she offered to massage it to make it feel better. Oh the women of Athens. I politely declined laughing and wincing all the way to the back of the club.
Go ahead and laugh it up, it was funny, and you should have seen the look on Brett's face when she asked about rubbing them.
The Skirts finally went on around 1 and were awesome. A good show to tide us over until Music Midtown.
Pics coming later in the week.
Friday:
K-Bob is still the best sandwich in Athens.
I discovered a new wheat beer called Erdinger. Light, not complicated, but tasty and it went down smooth.
Gunnison opened for us. Kevin "Slide" Hyde, Chris Costigan, Marlon Patton are some of the musicians and they were unbelievable. Abso-fucking-lutley great!!!
Funkle Ester went on after that. It's tough following musicians like Kevin, Chris, and Marlon, but it was fine, a good crowd. All in all, I thought we put on something fun to watch.
Got back to Bawcum's about 3 to watch the great news that the jogging bride was found safely. I was so happy that we didn't have to go through another trail of a husband killing his wife. I went to bed happy and drunk.
Saturday:
We had every intention of going to play golf but God and his weather had other plans.
Brett and I ran around town for a few hours, picked up breakfast and headed back to the house this time to find out that the kidnapped bride was in fact a runaway. She was successful in wasting the time and money of the police, GBI, FBI and countless volunteers.
I really pity the woman and she obviously has some problems. I just don't think my tax dollars should have to pay for her getting cold feet. Don't press charges against her, just send her a bill.
Back to Saturday.
After a very successful afternoon nap we headed downtown for a surprise-welcome-home-party for Dave's lady, The Bean. She was surprised so the party was deemed a success.
We all left together about 9 and headed to The Grill for a group dinner. The Grill is as much a landmark as it is a really good way to describe the "towny" part of the population of Athens. The food was good, and Jesus, there isn't much I wouldn't do for their fried okra.
After filling our tummies we watched the end of the last race then headed back to Tasty World so we could play with The Modern Skirts.
There were two bands before the Skirts. The first band called, Y-O-U, started late and played too long. The second band, Psychic Hearts, was a steaming pile of elephant dung. Seriously, I'm thinking of following them around just to boo them night after night with the hope that they will give up and either A) shit their wrists or B) go back to serving corndogs at Carnivals.
In between bands I had an odd experience...
While in the process of adjusting her sweater/jacket that was wrapped around her waist, a woman I don't know flicked my right testicle. Can you say ouch?
After noticing that I had grabbed my crotch and looked unhappy she offered to massage it to make it feel better. Oh the women of Athens. I politely declined laughing and wincing all the way to the back of the club.
Go ahead and laugh it up, it was funny, and you should have seen the look on Brett's face when she asked about rubbing them.
The Skirts finally went on around 1 and were awesome. A good show to tide us over until Music Midtown.
Pics coming later in the week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
