Wednesday, August 31, 2005
I helped two people at the store today that have temporarily become Georgians. They were forced from their homes in New Orleans and Slidell. They were surprisingly positive about their situation, but you could tell that they were beat up emotionally.
I just got word that some gas stations in Athens have closed. Whether it's due to rationing or if they have run out; I don't know.
AP Photo/Natural History Museum
I don't get the heebie geebies when it comes to bugs, but in this case I'll make an exception.
AJC.com wrote "British Natural History Museum expert Stuart Hine displays a giant centipede that was found in a north London home. Aaron Balick, 32, trapped the venomous creature in a plastic box after he found it behind his TV and took it to the Natural History Museum. There, experts identified it as "Scolopendra gigantea" -- the world's largest species of centipede. The creature measured nine inches long by just under an inch wide, not including its legs. It normally lives in South America and the Caribbean. Its sting can cause a blistering rash, nausea and a temperature, and in rare cases, death."
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Monday, August 29, 2005
Can a girl get an infection when a guy takes a Percocet during sex?
Dental-assistant nitrous love feels blog
Kidney stone "hot lemonade"
Flicked his testicle
Nitrous best love dentist blog
Dermatologist in Birmingham Alabama rash on penis
Peeing at school
Fingernail biting leads to appendicitis
Ketchikan Alaska strippers
What happened to Bruce Willis in 2004 with heroin
Take a dump in the ocean
Etiquette of couch surfing
t-lock versus 3 tab shingles installation
Jewish women spanking
Tastyworld couple girl lesbian
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
It was so boring that I started writing a fiction short story starring Jesus Christ.
Sum up: Five rooms each hosted by a different phone manufacturer, Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, LG, and Sony/Ericsson. I spent 45 minutes in each room listening to them drone on about their current and new products.
To the technogeek in all of us, this might sound like fun. But I was surrounded by a group of people that were actually getting aroused hearing things like:
"Nokia flip phone"
"Syncing via bluetooth"
"The vibration pulse rate is ten times more intense than the previous model."
Ok, the last one I lifted from a vibrator, but you get the picture. In some of the classes there was audible gasping and "oooing" as some of the reps talked.
I tried to behave, I really did. I kept my mouth shut most of the time mainly because I did not want to extend the length of time I was going to be held hostage by the giddy people hawking their products. I did let two reps have it for representing/manufacturing really shitty products, but it involves a lot of tech speak that makes me feel rather dorky to admit to.
After the sales meeting from hell let out, I went to Andrew's Upstairs to see Bambi, Ricky and their new band. I'm not allowed to release the name of the band yet as they are still tweaking the show and making it just right for the masses. I will tell you that I had a blast. It was great to see Bambi and Ricky back on stage where they belong.
Last night was Bambi and Ricky's first time playing at Andrew's so the crowd had no idea who they were. Their new act is so good that they had the crowd eating out of the palm of their hand by the fifth song. A great time and I can't wait to see them again.
By 11:30 PM Andrew's Upstairs was packed, PACKED I say. Churchhill's looked full and East Andrew's on the inside, patio and the other outside bar were all very busy. Somewhere along the road of life, I must have missed a memo somewhere. When did Wednesday night become the night to go out. I stayed for the first set, talked with Bambi and Ricky for a bit and hit the road.
This morning I screwed around the house (no comments perverts) during the morning hours waiting on Vitamin D to call in the early afternoon. He called about 1:30 and I headed to his place to help him relocate some of his belonging to The Bean's house. We successfully moved his larger, bulkier stuff and that was that.
I got home, showered and traveled to my parents house to celebrate my youngest brother/uber Christian, Scott's birthday. For those of you playing along at home, he turned 20 today. Yeah, I'm still reeling from that realization. Happy birthday Scott but don't flaunt your hair at me anymore. Gloaters go to hell.
Most disturbing of all, my friend, is that if you go to cbn.com you can find Pat Robertson's recipe for weight-loss pancakes.I thought A.J. was kidding about the pancakes, he wasn't.
Perhaps that is the answer...perhaps those pancakes will be proof of intelligent design.
But I doubt it.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Yeah... I'd much rather be here than at trivia. Good luck to tony and his poison ivy face.
Do not throw your phone at me. Everytime I see a phone up in the air coming towards me my first instinct is to let it hit the ground.
I did not say; "You got your phone wet." I said; "Your phone has water damage." There is a subtle but important difference in those two statements.
Don't pretend that you didn't know that your phone got wet. Your insulting my intelligence.
Don't get huffy with me about damage to your phone that I did not cause.
No, I will not give you a free phone, you dropped the last one in the toilet.
Do I look as if I care if you move your service to Verizon?
No, my manager is not here.
Yes, he should and is normally here, but he is currently attending a funeral for his recently deceased Grandmother. How small do you feel now?
And to the customer that just used me a punching bag. KISS MY ASS!!!
On a separate note, there will be no trivia tonight. Instead, after spending 6 hours in Snobb County retail hell, I will get to spend the next 5 hours in the downtown Westin listening to a corporate lecture on new products soon to be released. Color me contemptuous with a shade of disgust.
Saturday night as I approached the club we stopped and said hello to Anita. Anita, is the wife of Troy Aubrey. Troy is the manager of the Skirts and former manager of the now defunct band, Dayroom. Everyone cool on the cast of characters so far?
Anita took one look at me and about fell over. She shrieked;
"Troy is wearing the exact same shirt!!!"
After umpteen years participating in marching band where you are told to wear the same thing as everyone else and also because I have a penis, I found the comment amusing, but that was about it. I did not turn into a bawling teenage girl at prom that saw someone else wearing the same dress. Needless to say I was not worried about the staggering stumble my social life could possibly take.
The twilight zone thing about the story is this:
The two identical shirts in question were purchased at the same retailer in different cities earlier on the same day for the expressed purpose of being worn that night by Troy and myself.
But we forgot to snag a picture of what was later called "the fopah of the night".
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
People who watch the 700 Club for their daily dose of news.
People who think that we should base our foreign policy on the words of televangelist, Pat Robertson.
The standard news media for giving Pat Robertson a larger outlet for his stupidity.
I just got an email inviting me to teach a class on event coordination at a convention in Chicago.
Don't get me wrong, I'm totally stoked about the idea and the opportunity, but you've got to love the irony.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Modern Skirts had a tremendous show last night with a near capacity crowd at the 40 Watt (pictures backing up this claim coming as soon as I do the magic thing with the digital camera). The two openers Trances Arc and The Films were both very good. Personally, I liked The Films better, but don't tell Trances Arc that.
In addition to the CD, Catalogue of Generous Men, there was an assortment of new good lookin' Skirt t-shirts for sale. Every time I looked there was a line at the merch table.
After the show, we went back to Bry and Mer's to listen to the disc and enjoy a few more cocktails.
After listening to the disc a few times on the ride home, this is what I got;
1) It is very very VERY good. The album extinguishes the "British influenced pop" label that attached itself to Modern Skirts recently. Not that the tag was a bad thing, it simply doesn't apply anymore.
2) The intro for "My Bully" is the coolest thing I've heard in a very long time. I think I've listened to that intro 3 or 4 dozen times.
3) I'm stunned at what the Skirts and producer Geoff Melkonian created.
4) Famed R.E.M. and Indigo Girls engineer and Pro Tools guru, John Keane mastered the album and it sounds amazing. I get a huge smile on my face when I think that he worked on something I played on.
5) I'm tickled to be associated with these four incredibly nice guys and the music they created.
If you like music, I would recommend this album. Go buy it, right now.
The undisputed spoken line of the night came from The Bean. She and the girlfriends of the Skirts were dancing, singing, and cheering from first row of fans directly in front of the stage. During the show, a man tapped The Bean on the shoulder and said;
"Can I stand there? I *KNOW* the band."
Bean turned around, looked at the girls, looked at the man and with a straight face said;
"We *FUCK* the band."
The Bean then turned back to the stage and resumed enjoying the show.
And finally and on a different topic.
A Hayes found this thing on the internet and showed it to Brett, Brett posted it and then I could not help but post it as well. This is former Redc0at Band drum major T0dd Nich0ls' (A.K.A. Toughie Simmons) endorsement of Hydroxycut. Enjoy!!!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Saturday in retail hell and the computers don't work. This is going to suck. Reminder: Modern Skirt release party tonight at the 40 Watt
Friday, August 19, 2005
I don't say this lightly but the finished product is absolutely amazing. If you won't be in Athens for a while you can order the disc here. Or just click on the link and hear some of the tracks in Real Player format.
We'll be heading up again on Saturday for the release party/concert at the 40 Watt. The openers are Trances Arc and The Films. Skirts will go on about midnight and Dave and I will join them on stage for four or five tunes throughout the night.
Hope to see you there.
Oh and some news...
Did anyone *Really* believe that she was going to STAY sober?
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Go Dawgs!!!! 16 days
The question came and the first words out of Stacy's mouth was the right answer.
Did we figure a way to lose, absofuckinglutly!!!
We talked our way out of winning. That bites.
I did learn that Stacy is a lethal trivia buff. I'm just along for the ride and the occasional answer about the Nielsen ratings.
Oh!!! and there was no cheating.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
We are armed with the knowledge to win but we suck at creating team names. So please be funny, creative, crude or all of the above. If no one comes up with anything worth a damn, I'm going to have to resort to the old stand by of "Menstrual Tsunami".
Three years ago, I started with 30 dollars and I have played when I could, learning the basics of the game; money management, pot odds, value bets, etc, etc, etc. I lost and won and lost and won and lost and won. And then about a year ago, I started to win small games with some consistency. A goal for the money won was set and that was to purchase a fence for the backyard. Tonight was a financial breakthrough.
I entered a $30 tournament that started at 10:00 PM and at 2:17 AM I had all 462,000 chips. To give you some perspective everyone started with 1500 chips. I was proclaimed the winner over the three hundred people that entered. Not only can we buy a fence with the winnings, it also leaves me a nice roll to start rebuilding towards our next purchase which will either be an Apple laptop or my entry into next year's World Series main event. Laugh if you want, but we all have goals and I want to play in the World Series, so back off bitches.
Don't get me wrong I still have a lot to learn about the game but it feels great to 1) contribute to the house and 2) make a noticeable stride in my game.
So where do we go from here? I'm wired and can't sleep because I won so I'm replaying the hands that I lost during the tournament trying to figure out how I can improve. Dork? You bet.
And on a separate note....Fuck Lou Holtz
I can't wait for football season, Go Dawgs!!!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
However, sometime sooner than later, she and Ricky will be back entertaining us all. Until then please take a minute to go explore her site and become one of her "Bitches".
And Bambi, Thanks for the linkage.
Monday, August 15, 2005
When I left town there was still an uproar about the CIA agents' identity that was leaked. Blue peolple wanted a Red policy advisor to be fired or step down.
Does anyone know the resolution of this news story?
Friday night I landed at Hartsfield, got off of the plane, and headed straight to The Loft.
Modern Skirts played a set as invited performers of the Atlantis Music Conference. Dave and I joined them for a song or two. Side note, I really owe the Skirts boys a lot. I have gotten to play two huge gigs because of them. 1) Music Midtown and 2) Atlantis. Thanks guys!!!
The Atlantis Music Conference is a big music industry thing and it was great to see the Skirts get the recognition that they have worked hard for. They played a short but fantastic set. Everything seemed to be on. A great time.
Speaking of the Skirts; a couple of items of note.
They are in the process of creating a new website. Go visit.
The new CD which is creating a ton of buzz will be celebrated through a listening party this Thursday at Walker's Coffee and Pub (formally Blue Sky Coffee) around 10:00 PM. I have not heard the album but people keep telling me that it's unbelievable.
The CD, called Catalogue of Generous Men, will be released this coming Saturday at The Fabulous 40 Watt. Tell your friends and neighbors, this is a show not to be missed.
The album will be available the night of the release party and then August 23rd in stores.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
The trip was fun and the convention was a raging success. I hope you enjoyed the pics
Some of you don't know what I do out there so here's a brief sum up.
First, I fully admit that the name "B@lloon C@mp" can come off cheesier than a Who's the Boss marathon on Nick at Night, but it fits perfectly for balloon people.
Second, I am not in the balloon industry but over the years I have learned a lot about balloons and balloon people. I know more about balloons than the normal person but not enough to participate in those convention-type conversations at the bar.
Third, balloon decorators are just like any other artist or performer, some are absolutely amazing.
Ok, what it is...
Balloon Camp is a convention for the entire balloon industry; the manufacturer, distributor, retailer, and decorator. Camp's goal is to improve everyone's level of business through education.
What I do...
Every night at Camp we throw our campers a party, a very large party. (The party is similar to B@llooniversity that we used to do in Athens. Think that large of a party for three straight nights, with different decorations, talent and A/V.) I work with the decorators, catering, set-up staff, prop people, Audio/Visual, and talent to create an event that will be talked about the next day. My typical day out there was up and on site by 6:00 AM and back in bed between 1 and 2.
I came home exhausted but very self fulfilled in that for the first time in a year I got to do something that I truly love to do. It went so well that there might be some more good news coming soon.
A few stories...
I did find my twin and not just in the bald and goatee since. His name is Matt McKinney and is the President of the International Balloon Association. (Yes, there is a convention and association for everything.) We met and his wife was stunned by the similarities. Yes, the picture I posted doesn't really do the story justice, so you'll have to take my word for it.
On the first night of the convention Matt gave a brief speech. For the rest of the week, people came up to me telling me how much they enjoyed my speech and people went up to him asking about the lighting scheme for the party. We would see each other at meals and exchange messages.
My first Friday night out there I made it over to my favorite bar in the entire world which is the Fontana Lounge at the Bellagio. Drinks are expensive but the bar overlooks the gigantic fountain show from the hotel side. The lounge also features two incredible cover acts. Amazing bands fronted by amazing women. If you go, go check out Isis and Dian Diaz.
I made it over to the Hard Rock Casino, that's where the rock memorabilia photos came from, but other than that, I was not impressed by the place. Rather small but decorated incredibly well. The roulette tables were built into Steinway pianos and there were guitar picks for betting areas instead of circles on the blackjack tables.
I saw Pete Rose.
No joke. On Thursday, Camp was over and the A/V loaded out the night before, so time for me to be a tourist. I went over to the forum shops at Ceasar's to walk around. There is a sports memorabilia store and for a few hours Pete was there to sign autographs. There was no one in line to see him. In fact I saw people shift their walking paths to the opposite side of the mall to avoid breathing in the same air as Pete. I personally could give a used steroid syringe about Pete one way or the other, but to each his own.
I thought a pic of Pete would be good for ye olde blog so I walked up to one of the large men surrounding him and I asked;
"May I take a picture of Mr. Rose?"
Large Man; "Sure go inside and buy something for him to sign and we'll take as many pictures as you want."
"Excuse me? I just can't take a photo of him with my camera in this free county?"
Large man in a menacing way; "No!"
And that concludes my Pete Rose story.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Friday, August 05, 2005
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Last night at 8:10 I ran out of retail gig beaming ear to ear knowing that I will not step foot in there for 13 days. I could not be happier.
I met Stacy over at Wild Wing for some wings, good beer, and trivia.
Our team name was very weak, but after a perfect first round, we decided to keep playing. We were still winning after the second round. Third round, not so hot. We fell to sixth place, but we had come this far, why not finish it out. We owned the final round, perfecto. We were in third place going in to the final question.
"In the movie Tommy Boy, what college did Tommy Boy attend and graduate from after seven years?"
We had no clue, so I did the unforgivable, I called the only man who would know and if he didn't, I was pretty sure he was at home with a computer. Who is this tall, dark, handsome, knowledge bearer? Mr. Mizzou himself; Thanks Mike!!!
Mike hooked us up with the answer, we placed second and scored this lovely 50 dollar gift certificate that will be used the next time we go play trivia.
My sister-in-law is coming over at 12:30 to take me to the airport for my afternoon flight to Vegas. Pics and hopefully fun stories coming soon.
The answer to the Tommy Boy question is Marquette.
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now"
"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.
"He's a martyr now though" mum confides.
"Oh so sad dear" says the other.
"And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21"
"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born".
"He's a martyr too." says mum quietly.
"Oh gracious me ...." says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's18", she whispers.
"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school".
"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says...
"They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
To any relatives that might be reading; I love you all but I do have a favorite aunt just like I am your favorite nephew/grandson/son.
My Aunt worked for a hospital in Florida for almost 30 years. 30 YEARS!!! She started low and worked her way to near the top of the ladder. An unbelievably hard worker and yet she was summarily dismissed along with 10% of the work force.
I hurt for her and being that I have some experience in the unemployed/being let go/being screwed over by the selfish bosses category; I called her.
I called her and I told her two sets of truths.
The bad truths
"Yes, it sucks."
"Life is not guaranteed to get better."
"The world owes you nothing."
And the worst one; "You will feel much much worse, before you will start to feel better."
The good truths
"You have people around you that love you."
"If your friends are like mine, they will be the ones to pull you through this."
"While nothing is guaranteed to get better; it might."
While you might see this as negative, I see it as realistic.
Monday, August 01, 2005
And HOLY KIELBASA SAUSAGE BATMAN!!! Have you heard about the Tenacious D movie? Click here.