Two radically different items tonight.


1) I was really worried watching tonight's episode of 24, I thought they were killing Aaron off.

2) Did you hear about the Tech student that's missing? No, unfortunatly, this is not a lead in to a tasteless joke. The last place he was seen was Moondogs in Buckhead last Thursday night. Guess where I was last Thursday night. Yeah, Moondogs. A little unnerving to say the least; for multiple reasons.

Practice this

Last night was spent with Dave and The Bean at their lovely home imbibing way too many drinks. After a late and hearty breakfast this morning, Dave and I hit the road for Athens for Funkle practice.

Funkle has been on hiatus for the past 6 months to learn new charts. We will be back in action starting March 31st at Tasty World followed by a head lining gig at Ga Theatre on May 5th. BUT, there is a possibility that we will be playing a festival in Atlanta on March 25th, Keep your finger crossed, it is a "shoe money" gig AND it's a public show so it would give you Atlanta folks a the rare opportunity to see us play.

After practice, which was surprisingly good, we hit Loco's for some grub. FYI, the Black and Blue burger is really really good.


The following is from this week's edition of Flagpole.

Daniel v. Mohammed

I can certainly understand why many Americans are shaking their heads at the storm of controversy that erupted in the Muslim world when several European newspapers ran cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammed wearing a turban that doubles as a bomb. While the cartoons were deliberately and heavy-handedly provocative, the fanatically violent response and the resulting loss of life stretches even my rather elastic respect for legitimate cultural and religious differences very nearly to the snapping point.

Before we go overboard in congratulating ourselves on our own vaunted reputation for religious tolerance, however, we might note the storm of self-righteous zealotry that cowed NBC into pulling its controversial series, “The Book of Daniel”, after just three episodes. So far as I know, this conflict did not result in bloodshed, although it did produce death threats against some station managers who aired the show over the strenuous protests of some local viewers.

Although some objected to “Daniel” because of its portrayal of a severely flawed Episcopal priest and his equally flawed family and flock, the show's most egregious offense was its characterization of Jesus Christ as a decidedly laid-back but constant and caring presence in the everyday lives of even the sinful and whacked-out. Such sacrilege! The producers might as well have depicted the focal figure of the Christian faith as a terrorist.

James C. Cobb
cobby@cobbloviate.com

Funny, funny trailer for a Swedish movie. The audio is safe for work, but the video...not so much.

I know there's a smart ass statement to make about this story. I just can't think of it.

Kit and I started an interesting discussion Wednesday night at trivia. It was soooo interesting that I immediately squashed the conversation after it became unbelievably clear that neither of us was going to persuade the other to concede. My opinion was that Golf, while fun and to be good at it takes an amazing amount of skill, is not a sport. Kit disagreed and said that golf was indeed a sport. This has festered in my mind for the past two days.

So help me out, take sides and fight. But if golf is a sport then so is darts, poker, croquet, and bowling and that's not right.

Ok, ready, set, discuss.

Yesterday I woke up with an extremely sore back. I popped a few Aleve but the pain remained. I called and cancelled my golf lesson. Instead I spent the day couch/web surfing watching West Wing reruns. There are worse things in life.

Has anyone else noticed that the war in Iraq hasn't gotten a whole lot of press recently? Just an observation.

Leslie wins the award for best use of an Amazon gift certificate. Unless someone gives me a better idea within the hour, I'm going to purchase a set of clamps for woodworking and some replacement drill bits. With my new clamps and some left over wood from the cajon project I am going to attempt a storage box that doubles as an extra seat for the den . Cause ya gotta have goals.

We have been looking for an entertainment center for sometime (read: since we moved into the house 2 years ago). Getting Ln and I to agree on furniture, paint, wallpaper, bedsheets, etc, etc is a likely as me enjoying American Idol. (Side note: I will never enjoy AI, but Ln loves it and I love her, so the sick circle of torture remains.) We thought that we would never find something that we both liked. But we took one more stab three weeks ago and found the perfect entertainment system for our needs. The same store also sold a matching bookshelf. We were happy happy people.

I got the call this morning that the two pieces had been delivered to the local store so off I went to claim what was ours. I got the boxes home and it was time to assemble. I spent four hours of my life assembling a bookshelf. Now before you go making cracks about my skills, this is without a doubt the most bass ackward bookshelf I have ever seen. I can't begin to describe the process, directions, and the pieces.

Regardless it is assembled and has a happy place in our home. Tomorrow, the entertainment center which I will tackle after my golf lesson. 1 PM at the PGA Superstore in Alpharetta. Feel free to come by point and laugh.

Scatter this

I can feel my cholesterol getting higher and it feels good.

If any of you ever go into at a store at 5 minutes until closing; you should be forced to follow the store employee home and clean up their dog's pee.

The Empire Brokeback

I recently started receiving two magazines at the house: Rolling Stone and Wired.

Reasons:

Rolling Stone: I didn't have to pay for the subscription and it sounded like a fun reading to have around the house.

Wired: I've been reading wired.com for sometime and I wanted the other articles that I couldn't get online.

Reviews:

Rolling Stone:
I've only gotten three issues so I might be way off here or I might be proven right. Stone is a prime example of what is wrong with politics and the elected leaders of our country. The writers go out of their way to bash and insult anything conservative or anything Republicans might be for. I'm not dumb, the Uber Religious Right is the same way. Instead of trying to prove and explain their point of view, both sides spend their time attacking the other getting nothing done expect fattening their wallets. If I had known that I was subscribing to "Whiny Asshole Magazine" I wouldn't have bothered, I thought I was ordering a music and entertainment mag.

Wired:
I really like this geeky monthly publication. It is filled many articles on a wide range of topics. From the future of entertainment systems, to the best Teflon saucepans, to how Lego is reinventing itself, to science, to anything else gadgety. Two thumbs up.


I have in my hot little hands a $25 gift certificate for Amazon and I don't know what to buy. I thought about another magazine but I'm having a hard time keeping up with reading that I have. Amazon does sell itunes cards so that's a thought, but I'm unsure. So use your grey matter and give me ideas.

The concerts I got to coordinate last week were rewarding in both spiritual and financial ways. Both went off fine and with few hitches. The technical crew at the venue was awesome. They are hard workers that know their stuff and their building. And as an added bonus, they're not a union house. Could this be heaven? After I got home late Friday night, I went to bed, called out of work the next morning and did nothing but sleep for most of Saturday.


Saturday night I finally got around to watching Crash. While there were some good moments, I wasn't all that impressed. While it started out great, it lost steam as it went along. After the first 40 minutes all of the major stories had unfolded and the rest of the time was connecting the different character's story lines to each other. When it finished I think I audibly said, "Eh?"

Also on the weekend video list was The Aristocrats. It is a documentary regarding the one joke comedians never tell on stage and it is so bad that I won't even write it out for fear of paralyzing my mother and being written out of the will by my father. Every comedian knows this joke and everyone of them tells it differently. It is very much like a jazz musician improvising. I'm 3/4 of the way through and I have laughed through most of it. This movie is not for the weak of heart but if you have a strong stomach and hold nothing sacred, this movie would be for you.

I woke up so sore that I did not go to work today. I was/still am physically exhausted and mentally shot.

Both shows went off without problems, I got paid well, and I got to do what I love for two days.

Church gig tomorrow then the afternoon off to continue the recovery process.

Show numero uno....success.

No one died and the client was happy.

Show numero dos is currently loading in.

Very tired and the day just started.

I don't want to go back to work tomorrow.

Last week at trivia, the Marietta Wild Wing announced that they would be closed the following Sunday, Monday, Tuesday to fix a hole in their kitchen floor. Great!!!! I don't go to Wild Wing on those days. I only go on Wednesdays for trivia.

Yesterday was Wednesday and guess what. They were still closed. No trivia. Major suckage. And we were all ready with a good team name, which we will have to use next week. I really hope that the Dick Chaney shooting story doesn't fall out of the news cycle until then. So we went down the street to Mazzy's to eat and watch the Georgia/UK game.


For then next two days, I am a contract employee for a friend doing what I love and that is executing events. Today I'm coordinating this event. Tomorrow I'm coordinating this concert.

While I am stoked about doing something I love, I am worried about remembering everything that comes along with show and concert production. I'm sure it's like riding a bike and it won't take long until something flies up my butt.

The best thing to ever come out of American Idol.

A contestant-on-Paula lip lock.

Pink this

A friend called me yesterday and asked if I could help him buy some new equipment today. I said; "of course" and told him what time I would be working.

After dropping his son off at daycare he stopped by midmorning and I got him all hooked up.
While at lunch, he called me. One look at the called ID and my first thought was, "Oh great, there's a problem with his phone". I couldn't have been farther off. He was calling to inform me that he had to pick his son up from daycare early because his son had a raging case of pink eye. Quickly realizing that he was probably contagious, my friend had called to worn me and apologize in advance. While that was really very kind of him to warn me, rest assured. If I get Pink Eye, Carlton will die.

What is missing from the following sentence?


I like playing golf


Need a hint? It's also the same thing that's been missing from our lives for the past seven weeks. It showed up today just in time for our Valentine's evening.

But we don't care, we're finally breathing again.

I have been a fan of Anderson Cooper since he was the host of the (now defunct) greatest reality show of all time, The Mole. Now he is on CNN hosting, Anderson Cooper 360, a mostly lighter look at the news. I've been reading his blog and today's post is a relative read for Valentine's Day. Enjoy.

Nothing, absolutly nothing.

Ever have one of those days?

I have one thing keeping me sane right now and that's Friday, I'm excited about Friday, but that's a different post for later in the week.

Tomorrow is Tuesday, just in case you forgot. That means a new episode of Gilmore Girls on the WB.

No retail work tomorrow.

I'm having lunch with Dave tomorrow that's something.


The Late Show's Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses (for shooting his hunting parter)

10. Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm

9. Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page

8. Not enough Jim Beam

7. Trying to stop the spread of bird flu

6. I love to shoot people

5. Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter

4. I thought the guy was trying to go "gay cowboy" on me

3. Excuse? I hit him didn't I?

2. Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly

1. Made a bet with Gretzky's wife

Laugh at this

A group of us recently went to Whole World Theatre in downtown Atlanta for an evening of laughs and beer. It was so good that my stomach hurt the next day. From the laughing, not the beer.

WWT is an improv show. Very similar to "Who's Line is it Anyways?". The audience gives the host suggestions and he delivers the best of those suggestions to the actors to act out. You are made to think that the entire sketch is being brought to life right in front of your eyes but I have a strong feeling that a couple of sketches were rehearsed in advance. But that doesn't matter. You will laugh and that's the point; to be entertained.

Ticket prices are very affordable, in fact for how much I laughed, I would consider it a steal. Where they get you is at the bar and this would be the only downside of Whole World. Beer and wine only and any beer close to decent is four bucks a pop. The beer selection is standard but they do have Red Brick's Ale and Blonde so that's something. You select your beers for the first act and they place them in a galvanized bucket with ice, so your extra beers stay frosty while you enjoy the first half of the show. At intermission you get a chance to reload.

My favorite actor of the night was Eric Goins. He channels the physical comedy of Belushi with the over-the-top antics of Farley with the charm and wittiness of Sans. Yes, he is overweight, but that's not the reason for the comparisons, it just happens to fit him due to the forms of comedy he brings to the stage. He possesses the best components of each of those comedians and draws you into every sketch.

In the process of contributing to the show, I had two lines of note. The first of which came in direct response to a woman walking into the show after it started talking on a cell phone and plunking her Gucci ass on the front row. I made fun of her in such a manner that Dave called me "his hero" and that felt damn good. Her friend however, didn't find it funny, and the woman didn't come back after intermission. Her loss, our gain.

My other line came when a female and male cast members were dubbed by the audience as a "Vegas Show Girl" and "her manager". The host asked for a reason for them to be fighting. Without hesitation and in a moment of silence I offered up; "He did her in the butt!!!". This was immediately followed by the loudest burp I have ever heard out of Serena, Ln yelling, "RUSSELL!!!", and much laughter. All in all, good times and a hearty recommendation for any and all to go. For those of a more conservative nature, go to an earlier show. It is supposedly less vulgar.

Install this

On Wednesday, I accomplished a minor electrical home improvement project in the form of replacing our thermostat. This would mark the first electrical project I have done that:

A) I didn't shock myself
B) The project worked on the first try
C) The rest of the lights and electricity in surrounding areas of the house still worked after the fact. (I installed a dimmer in the dining room of a friend's apartment and it worked great, but for whatever reason the light in the laundry room never worked again.)


Old and Busted


Cover off, wires unscrewed and labeled


New hotness in it's original packaging.


New base plate. I took a crooked picture, the base plate is actually level.


New Hotness finished and it works like a champ. It even reminds me when to change the air filter.

A rant about Macs. Wait for the last line.

We all know that Germans love David Hassellhoff and if you didn't, read this sketch from a 1999 SNL Weekend Update.

NORM: In other netertainment news, one of the world's biggest stars just completed a whirlwind three-week world tour. Tonight he's agreed to come to Update to tell us about it. Ladies and gentlemen, David Hasselhoff! DAVID HASSELHOFF: Thank you! Thank you very much! [laughs] My recent world tour was an incredible experience. I went to twenty-one countries in just fifteen days and I've got some amazing stories to tell.

In Japan, for instance- instance, I was invited to the state dinner at the Emperor's Palace. What I didn't know was the emperor... NORM: Hey! Woah! Woah! Woah! Hang on a second. Did you just say Japan? DAVID: Yes I did. NORM: Yeah, well no offense, you know, but I don't think anybody cares about Japan. Why don't you, ah... Why don't you focus on the countries where you're, you know, you're popular? DAVID: Oh, Well, in China we had an incredible experience. The entire cast of Baywatch was invited to the Great Wall. Where hundreds of thousands of Chinese people were chanting in unison, “Baywatch, Ba-” NORM: [Interrupting] Woahhh, woaaahhh. Wait, wait. Chinese people? DAVID: Yes, of course. NORM: Look, why don't we skip China? In fact, rule out all of Asia. DAVID: Okay, okay. What do you want to hear about? I mean, I've got some great stories from all over the world. NORM: "I-I-I was thinking, you know, ah, some place where you're specially popular, you know, like in Europe. DAVID: Oh, well, in Italy-

NORM: No, in Northern Europe, Northern Europe. DAVID: Oh, I got you. I got you. Okay. I got you. There's one country that they absolutely love me. Norway. NORM: Norway? What, are you crazy? They like everybody in Norway, nobody gives a damn about Norway. What the hell's wrong with ya? DAVID: Look, ah, what's going on, here? I've never seen you like this. NORM: Well, ahhhh, to tell you the truth, you know, I didn't want to be the one to bring it up but, uh, what about Germany? I mean, how do the- how do the Germans feel about you? DAVID: Well, on this trip, we actually didn't stop in Germany- NORM: [Raising voice] I don't care about your stupid trip! Look, just tell me how you would characterize in one sentence the way Germans feel about you. DAVID: Well, I've always been fortunate to get a very positive response from the Germans- NORM: [Interrupting] Oh, my God! This is no time for false modesty! We're running late, we gotta wrap this thing up. Do Germans love you? DAVID: Well, 'love' is an awfully strong word.

NORM: Oh, listen, David, uh, let's say a guy had a theory, all right? DAVID: All right. NORM: A theory that he's devoted several years of his life to. And let's say he has a lot of evidence to back up this theory of his. DAVID: All right.

[Norm puts pile of documents on desk as "evidence"] NORM: Now, don't you think it would just be common courtesy to help that guy out, you know, and not- not ruin his life? DAVID: Listen, I don't... know what you want me to say here, pal. NORM: Oh my God, here, I'll write it down.

[Norm writes on paper and gives it to David] NORM: Here. Say this. DAVID: [Reading from paper] Germans love me. NORM: Which once again proves my theory: Germans love David Hasselhoff.

Ok now that we've had our refesher on Germans and David, it is time to start a new theory.

Australians love David Hasselhoff.

There is a new ad campaign for Pepsi starring David on Billboards and in magazines all over Australia. Unfortunatly, Blogger is having trouble loading this particular image probably because of it's total awesomeness. Enjoy.

Jimmy Kimmel making a point about censorship. Very funny.
Not safe for work.

A parody of a Visa commercial. Funny.
Also not safe for work.

A few things of note...
Brewfest has found a new home. It is a much smaller space but I'm tickled to see that it's surviving at least for anther year.

And for those interested, NBC is playing a new unaired episode of Book of Daniel every week on it's website. But as with everything that's free, there is a catch , It won't run on Macs. Windows only. Sigh..............

Mountain Weekend 2006 was a success and by success I mean that everyone made it up and down the mountain in one piece and we came home with exactly as many people as we started with. No more, no less. But only time can assure us of that.

MW06 was a gathering of people that rented a pimp cabin on the top of a mountain in Blue Ridge where we proceeded to grill meat, watch a football game, and drink a lot of whiskey and beer. We drove up Saturday afternoon and came back Monday morning. Yes, Monday morning sucked.

Highlights for me in no particular order.

1) Spending time with friends away from the distraction of the internet, jobs, and the real world. It was amazing to see how Eva has grown.

2) Realizing that I'm finally over a grudge that I have carried very successfully for three years. I didn't realize I was over it, but it was just one of those moments. Don't take this that I trust the bastard, because I never will, but at least it's not consuming my soul anymore.

3) After our first meal and while we were cleaning the kitchen, Dave got fancy with a spatula. He started flipping vegetable pieces into the air. I took this opportunity to see if I could catch them in my mouth. After a few shots that were out of range and a few misjudgments by me, we connected not once but twice. Yes, this is lame but at the time it was considered high quality entertainment. Serena caught one of the catches on video, but I'm unsure if it can be posted on the net. If you do get to see it, the great moment of the footage is not the launch or the catch but rather the bouncy-up-and-down-celebration-dance Stacy did at the end of the video.


On a different note, this is my new favorite website. Yes I know it has been setup by an opponent of his but I'm ignoring that and just basking in the warm internetty glow.

tax this

Let's take a look at the scoreboard.

Me - 1
IRS - 0

Last night, with a little help from Turbo Tax, I kicked some IRS ass all over the internet.

buzz this

I love Ga Tech fans. They keep life funny.

Had a great weekend in the mountains.

Very tired, will nap soon.

Stories of moving on/letting go, celery catching, and debauchery coming. Maybe a photo or two.

I enjoy thinking about birth control as much as I enjoy thinking about tampons. It's not fun to think, read, write, or talk about.

However, there is new product being heavily advertised on TV, radio, and print so it's been unavoidable. I open the newspaper and I see a big ad for NUVARING, I listen to the radio and on comes an ad for NUVARING, I turn on the TV and there are commercials starring women talking about NUVARING.

It's one thing to be a new form of birth control and it's another to throw it my face every fifteen minutes, but have you seen this thing? It's a ring, a circle and it goes "up there". After watching this commercial a single time, a flood of questions entered my mind.

How do you put it in?
How does it stay up there?
How do you get it out?
Does it interfere with sex?


In addition, my mind wondered to the laws of physics and if they applied to this product. I assumed that the vagina, being tubular in nature, and the device being a circle would align themselves in a fashion much like the circles in the Target logo.

Turns out I was wrong. It goes in folded like a flattened oval and is held in place by the walls of the vagina. How do I know this? I got curious and went over to the website. So for those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, here's an overview of the product. And for those that really want to know how the device is applied; click here, scroll down and click the link that says, "insert and remove Nuvaring".