George Carlin, when speaking about the 6th commandment* said the following;

Thall shall not kill. Murder. But when you think about it, religion has
never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in
the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at
Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World
Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not
kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being
negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed.

Pretty good point against religion if you ask me. Not that I need one, I'm just sayin'.

I don't take anyone's belief in a higher power seriously. Just like I don't understand anyone that likes cantaloupe. But, I do respect your right to believe whatever you want to and of course eat that vile melon. Just don't try and convert me. I've been there, done that, drank the Koolaid, and sobered up from it.

Recently I have run into more than a few voicemail greetings that end in blessing me or telling me that Jesus love me. It's one thing to preach to me, it's another entirely to let technology do it for you when you are too lazy to answer the fucking phone. In response to this, I have begun ending my voicemails to the absent religious pushers with; "Thank you, have a nice day and there is no god."


From Studio 60
Harriet: I don't even know what the sides are in the culture war.

Matt: Well, your side hates my side because you think, we think you're stupid, and my side hates your side because we think you're stupid.



*It's the 6th commandment according to Protestants and Jews and the 5th according to the Catholics and Lutherans. Not that it matters.

Created by Heyjennyslater.

Bet this

I just spent three and a half hours playing an online tournament with an entry fee of $30. 232 people entered and I beat 226 of them. If this had been a normal tournament 7th place would have paid out about $500. But this one only had one prize. A $12,000 first place; $10,000 for an entry into the 2007 WSOP main event plus $2,000 for travel expenses. I had the best hand, she got lucky on the river. I know that's part of the game, but losing like that rips a part of your soul out.

Back to sit n go's to win back my entry fee and we'll try again Wednesday night.

I hate losing. This is what being a Tech fan feels like.

What time is it?

Where to start....

Wednesday at 4 PM I found myself carless and the office empty. I devised a plan to take Marta to the Brookhaven part of the world, then CCT over the Snobb County then hoofing it on home. But I thought better of that. 10 minutes later Tony picked me up and it was off to Decatur to sample the new fresh beer at Twain's. This trip would mark the third time I have been to Decatur. Previous trips were for Andrew's birthday at The Brick Store and a Nathan Beaver show at Eddie's Attic.

The beer at Twain's was tasty. And I fell in serious like with the stout. The hamburgers were decent but the bun didn't match the size of the patty and you can only guess how that made me feel. Cool bar, good beer, I'll be back. Afterwards it was on to spend time with Keith.

Thursday, I went to the top of Stone Mountain and had a picnic on the the top of it. Yes, it was awesome. I'm still learning how to work the new digital camera so no photos of the gorgeous day and the seemingly limitless view. Afterwards I surfed the couch, watched football and hunted through the newspaper.

Friday, I was supposed to play kickball, but quickly discovered how comfortable the couch felt and remembered how sore I was the last time I played kickball. So instead, I spent the day purchasing holiday presents for friends and family from the couch. What did we do before the internet? That afternoon/evening, I picked up the car from the shop and headed over to the mall type area where the traffic/parking wasn't that bad. The rest of the evening was spent preparing the car for the game.

Saturday, I arose way too early for my tastes. Made it to Athens and in the parking space in one hour and fifteen minutes. I cracked the first of many beers 5 minutes later. There was an odd assortment of old college buddies that joined in the festivities until about 2:30 when we all stumbled towards the stadium.

The game was, yes, fucking great. I would rather win ugly over Tech every year instead of a blow out. Why? They'll come back year after year with hope that we get to rip out of their chests all over again. A couple of neato one liners that I heard around the game.

>If any Tech fans asks you for the time for the next 364 days, the appropriate answer is "it's 15 to 12". I'm going to run that into the ground Tuesday night when I get to celebrate UGA's glorious win by people buying me beer. Stupid Techies, they never learn and now thanks to their unwavering and blindly placed faith, I will drink for free. Reggie Ball is good for UGA.

>"Beware the bird finger on the next hand" Referencing the finger that will be used after next year's win, making it seven in a row. Hold up six fingers, all five on your right hand and your index finger on you left. This represents six wins in a row over Tech. Now, add the next finger, which would be your middle or bird finger on your left hand. This is how many wins in a row we will have at the end of next year's game. Get it?

>"Four more years", a political type reference hoping that the NCAA will extend Reggie Ball's eligibility because Reggie Ball is good for UGA.

It was a grand day to be a Georgia Bulldog. If Tech goes on to win the ACC championship next week, I'm printing t-shirts that say "UGA - 2006 ACC Champs".

Happy Turkey to all.

Go Dawgs!!!

Drink while reading this

It's been a really slow day but, I found something fun from Amber, who I don't know, but is linked off of Tony.

Nadrubloda or National Drunk Blogging Day is coming up faster than my penis at an all male strip club when the sirens come on and the men take the stage as firemen. Hose me down Julio! Hose me down!!!

I have no idea where they came from.

Nadrubloda is exactly what you think it is. Drinking plus blogging. Simultaneously.
Like, oh muh gawd, like, at the same time.

This might be the best combination since Jack Daniels and my mouth. December 29th.

Please Hammer don't hurt em

Here's what Michael Richards did.

Here's Michael Richards apologizing.

I can't tell if this is a joke gone bad, or if he's really upset about this.

Bet this

After about a year off I started playing online again with positive but mixed results. The cash flow has been positive, but the lessons I've tried to apply has made it difficult at times. What I have realized is that I enjoy the game more than ever. Maybe the needed break and more studying of odds, tendencies, and strategy is what was needed. For anyone that cares, this is a great read.

But translating the online play to the live setting is difficult for me. To be effective in a live setting, I have to envision the table from above like I would see it online and make my plays from there. Then add in whatever I can pick up from the other players.

All of this to say that I won tonight. I played for over four hours against 90 other people in a live setting. The payout wasn't great, but it's the winning that counts and nothing else. I started the final two tables with just double my original stack; a pittance of the other stacks around me. Somehow, I picked the right places, at the right time, and stayed in.

After it was down to two, I endured 35 minutes of heads up where the lead went back and forth and back and forth. In the end I had all of the chips, first place, and a spring in my step that hasn't been there in a while. I had multiple aspects going and I changed gears often with great affect. I'm starting to understand this game more and more. All I want to do, is read more, study more and play more.

On a different but related topic, I'm thankful for so much.

I'm planning to play kickball on Friday. Maybe I'll fall down again. Here's hoping.

Blue this

Saturday night I meandered into Gwinnett County to attend the performance of Blue Man Group. The seats were stellar. Just off stage left about 10 rows up. I got a great view of backstage and how some of the special affects were achieved. The show itself was good but nothing spectacular. With the exception of one or two new songs and video taped bits by former BMG drummer and current SNL cast member, Fred Armisen, the show was almost identical to their previous show, Complex Rock Tour, that I saw at the Atlanta Civic Center over a year ago.

Compared to the previous show, the level of performance was lower. The band was smaller and not as clean. All very talented, but just not as tight. And the Blue Men themselves didn't seem as good. I also wonder if performing in an arena setting instead of a theatre had anything to do with the crowd's response at times.

Because of where I sat I was able to witness some type of technical screw up that forced one Blue Man to do nothing (ie, stare into the crowd) for two straight songs while a technician worked on fixing something in or around the main PVC pipe area.

Long story and being picky aside, I was still entertained, just not nearly as much as I thought I would be. I'll pass next time they swing through town. However, I will check out one of their permanent shows the next time I'm in Vegas, Chicago, Boston, or wherever. I've always heard that the permanent shows are very good and much more theatrical.

So that was Saturday. Sunday brought about a new home owner experience. The oven was turned on to cook a "Za". For those unaware, "Za" is what the cool kids call pizza nowadays. Oh those crazy kids. Actually I have no idea if kids are actually calling it "Za", I just know that Dave started screaming for some "za" after a late night Funkle show and that it stuck from there.

Anyways, oven turned on to preheat. Ten minutes later, no heat. I don't know nothing about no gas stoves. A quick Google later I have found an appliance repair company that is open on Sundays AND if I choose not for them to fix whatever is wrong; the cost is only 8 American dollars. That's not to shabby. An hour and half later, Konstantine from Appliance Doctor was at the door, tools in hand. He quickly diagnosed the problem as a worn out igniter. 45 minutes and a check later, Konstantine was on his way and I once again had a way to eat some tasty "Za". Appliance Doctor? Two thumbs up.

Next...........

It's been an uneventful week.

I ate wings Wednesday night and they might have been the best wings I have ever put in my mouth. Oh so good. Kit paid, ever better.

I learned this week that work is giving me the Friday after Thanksgiving off, good stuff there. Am I stupid enough to even leave the house the day after Thanksgiving and go anywhere near to a mall-type area? Yes I am. Check out bfads.net.

Tonight, I'm going to see Blue Man Group perform at the Gwinnett Arena. The last time they rolled through town they performed at the Atlanta Civic Center and show was called The Complex Rock Tour. I loved the idea and the show, although the darker parts I could have lived without. The current touring show is called How to be a Megastar Tour 2.0. I really enjoy a theatre setting for concerts. I hope that moving it into an arena doesn't make it totally suck. I need to bone up and see the "real" BMG show the next time I go to Vegas. Or I could try and see it in Boston if I go visit Dave and Serena. The flights right now, round trip from Atlanta to Boston are ridiculously cheap.



Is anyone else sick of the hype surrounding the Ohio State/Michigan game? Hey Corso, suck it.




VHS, Rest in Peace.


The recent Microsoft fuckup made me laugh out loud for a long period of time. Turns out their ipod killer (cough, cough), Zune, is incompatible with Vista, Microsoft's newest version of Windows. Fucking geniuses over there.

Dear world,

STOP BUYING MICROSOFT PRODUCTS, YOU'RE ONLY ENCOURAGING THEM.

Thanks,
Me


The greatest thing ever written about Microsoft.


Stream of consciousness posts aren't that good.

Taste this

I feel about as pissy as Nancy Pelosi looks.


As a general rule of life, you should not complain when someone else provides a meal.

Whether it be dining out or you are at someone's house, don't do it. Resist the urge to offer your negative opinion despite your intentions. It is rude and you just don't do it. Ever.

Ok, two exceptions. A) Unless the cook or host asks you for your opinion or B) the food sucks so bad it is like a white elephant in the room. Other than that, don't be fucking rude.


Carry on bitches.

Listen to this

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.

I need to listen to more Dylan.

How 'bout them Dawgs!!!

Most people probably didn't notice, but Friday night the Georgia Men's Basketball team tipped off their season with authoriti. They defeated the defending SWAC conference champion, Southern University, 97-37. That is a 60 point victory against a team that made the previous NCAA tourney.

Add that with a Women's B-Ball victory over #11 Rutgers this afternoon AND the ass-whopping that was delivered on the eagle-plainspeople-cats and it was a very good weekend for UGA Athletics.

Unfortunately, that's where the good news for UGA ended.

While I don't believe in karma, luck, or divine intervention; I do believe in good ole fashion payback. Because payback will bend your dead Grandmother over the end of the couch and do her in the ear.

Apologies to dead Grandmothers everywhere.

Home safe from Nashvegas and in record time to boot. Speed limit, smeed limit.

It's Friday.

Viva Las Nashville.

Skirts were good.

Studio 60 has been saved for the season.

On tap for the day.

Breakfast - check
Lunch
Borat
Stranger than Fiction

A decent rebuttal to anyone that believes Mark Richt should be fired.

Ha!!!

I just passed CNN and while I'm thankful that most of the midterms are over, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit listening to the post-election babble. At a rally last night, Nancy Pelosi said;

"Democrats promise to work together in a bi-partisan way for all Americans. The American people voted to restore integrity and honesty in Washington D.C. And the Democrats intended to lead the most honest, most open, and most ethical Congress in history".

Riiiight...............Good luck with all that integrity and stuff. You're not better than the Republicans, so stop portraying yourself as that. Democrats are just the only other option.

But let's not forget the other half of the problem. Rep. Tom Reynolds, head of the National Republican Congressional Committee, said on CNN;

"We had some incumbents who were caught unprepared. And by the time they got around to paying attention, because they had not done enough to disqualify their opponent, the environment prevented them from localizing the race. Again, we are always prepared to deal with the wind in our face, which is why the NRCC was as aggressive its ever been with voter contact. We spent over 80 million dollars....on house races....But still, unprepared members were swallowed up by the sour national environment."

80 MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS?!?!? Yeah, that was well spent. That's 80 million Jr Bacon Cheeseburgers. And wasn't the "sour national environment" created by the Republicans?

It's all bullshit. Both sides. Charles Pope with the Seattle Post Intelligencer, (Look, I like the news, back off) wrote;

"...this year's schedule -- at best -- calls for Congress to be in session for the fewest number of days in 60 years. Based on the official House calendar, there are only 97 days scheduled for votes this year."

This makes for a lazy group of men and women and all of them should have been fired. The 80th session of Congress, dubbed the "Do-Nothing Congress" by President Truman, only worked 110 days.

I voted my conscience and went Libertarian everywhere I could. Looking back at yesterday, I feel pretty damn good about it. If the people who said they are Libertarian actually would vote Libertarian, the political issues, language, and landscape would start to change immediately. "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."


Randomness...

-Here's a link to tell you how your favorite superhero leans politically.

-If you enjoy college football then you've heard of the new rule regarding the game clock. It now starts when the ball is kickoff following a score or start of a half. It used to start when the opposing player caught the ball. Wisconsin Head Coach, Bret Bielema, has punched this rule right in the anus. His awesomeness in the form of a video is posted here.

-We might get a full season of Studio 60 after all. Jesus Christ!!! Monday's episode was funny.

I voted. I like voting. I just wish the experience lasted longer.

And speaking of lasting longer. Go check out this video for the one second condom. I'm not sure what I think of this. Did people have a hard time putting on condoms before? What happens if you only have one hand.

During last night's CMAs, Faith Hill was caught on camera reacting poorly to an award being given to Carrie Underwood. That is funny.

Vote for this

Tomorrow is election day or the second anniversery of my appendectomy, whichever floats your boat.

I have a voting dilema. I want to vote for the Libertarian candidate, Garrett Michael Hayes, for Governor. He most-closely represents what I believe my government should or should not be doing. But all of the polling says that he is going to lose. Is voting for Hayes a gesture, at best? Am I throwing away my vote? Should I instead vote for a candidate I don't like to avoid having the worst option take the Governor's office? Is not voting for what you think to be right, betraying the idea of voting? Seriously. Is it?


Different political topic.
I have bitched about John Crooks and religion invading the Cobb County School Board for months. So if you happen to A) Read this blog, B) Live in Cobb County, C) Get to vote in the District 6 School Board Race, and D) are planning on voting for John Crooks tomorrow read the following quote below given by John about his opponent Dr. Beth Farokhi.

"Beth Farokhi is the most qualified candidate in the race.”, Rev., Dr. John Crooks, Republican Candidate, Post 6, ECCA Forum, June 28, 2006

When it comes to paying the bills, all are paid through the internet either by an autodraft system or through online banking. Seriously, I think this internet thing might catch on.

I have Cingular set up to autodraft the money owed the pay the day before it is due. Or more plainly, I give them permission to come into my bank account and take as much money as they think they are owed. And if I think of it that way, that is a pretty fucking stupid thing to do. They email me my bill once a month and I always check it. Then a week later Cingular takes the owed amount from the bank account.

There has never been a problem with this system.

(Wait for it.)






(Wait for it.)










(Wait for it.)









UNTIL NOW!!!

October 28th came and went and Cingular didn't take any money. I owed them money, but they decided not to take any. On October 31st, I logged onto my handy dandy online Cingular account and sure enough, they show my account as the dreaded "Past Due". I called up and got a rather pleasant person who graciously took my money over the phone and apologized for the computer error. Fine, good, great, fantastic.

But on November 1, Cingular had the balls, the nerve, the audacity to come into my bank account and STEAL money from me. I gave you the opportunity to take the money and you didn't. I then gave you the money you were owed and after I pay you, you come in and take it? Who the fuck do you think you are?

I called into customer service this morning and all I wanted was for Cingular to refund me the money that they stole. At this point, if you're thinking, "Hey asshole, what's the big deal?" you would be correct. The money they stole was sitting neatly in my account and showed as an account credit. The credit would have paid for next month's phone bill. But the big deal is that this company stole several pieces of my soul, so I refuse to let them take anything from me until they are owed it.

The first person I spoke with about my refund said that they "couldn't do that". What?!?!? You can take my money but you can't give it back due to your error? I don't fucking think so. I called major league bullshit and immediately asked to speak with a supervisor. 32 minutes and 17 seconds later, yes, I checked the call timer when I hung up, the money was being refunded.

Was it worth it? No, not really and I think that was the big lesson learned.

Do you remember the time that I wrote about needing a trombone player?

I found one and his name is Kevin Hyde. He and I played Dave D's arrangement of All You Need is Love with the boys of Trances Arc last night. What had happened was.......

Last week, I got a phone call from Eric with Trances Arc. The other guitar player from TA is Michael. Michael is getting married this coming Saturday. The rehearsal dinner was last night at Pricci. Michael's father is Mr Dorio. Just like most rehearsal dinners there are toasts. Mr. Dorio, being the host of the evening would give the last toast. He wanted to end his toast by saying "...and all you need is love" and then horns kick off the song, the band jumps in and that would be the finale of the evening.

Dinner was scheduled to be served at 7 PM and the toasts would start around 8 and Kevin and I would be outta there by 8:30 PM. The prearranged payment would be one hundred dollars and free drinks. Really? You had me one hundred dollars to play one song. When Kevin and I arrived at 7:30 they hadn't even started serving dinner and wouldn't until around 8. Toast didn't start until 9:45 and we didn't play until 10:45. Do you know what happens when you leave two bored horn players at a nice upscale restaurant unattended for three hours with open bar tab? We drink. Heavily.

The performance was fine, a piece of cake and it was a lot of fun. We got a lot of thank yous and apologies for the event running late. We got paid and headed on home. And that was Thursday.

Tonight, head over to the Smyrna Market Village and more specifically Zucca for some dinner with a former Smingular co-worker and her fiance Kevin.

Tomorrow with the UGA not on TV, I will probably end up heading over to the Chomp and Stomp chili cookoff. Why? Because a $5 entry fee gets me all the chili I can eat and after attending last weekend's chili cookoff, I kind of have a thing for eating other people's food and being judgmental. It's fun.

On the sabbath, I will rest.

I just got the go ahead from my boss to take next Friday off. That means Thursday directly after work I'm going to hop in the Winnebago of love, drive to Nashvegas, pick up Brett, go support Modern Skirts who are opening for De Novo Dahl at Mercy Lounge. This will be a good show.

For you Athenians, the same line up will be performing the following night at the 40 Watt.

Fair warning, I tried to get this post to go somewhere. Too bad it didn’t make it.


Last night I was seated at a table comprised of all Georgia Tech fans. If you had overheard the conversation you would have thought that Tech was 9-0 on their way to play for the national title. It was the type of conversation that 5 years ago I would have jumped in with both feet because I was "supposed to", but no one wins these conversations/discussions/things that lead to getting kicked out of a bar.

You are not going to convert someone from being a nerd/Volunteer/War Eagle/Tiger/Gator to being a Dawg over the course of an hour of slinging insults and zingers. It's impossible. It's likely as someone dying on Monday and coming back to life on Thursday. Plus the ring leader of the conversation was probably 21 or 22 and he obviously knew something about everything. He made sure everyone at the table knew it too.

So while keeping my mouth shut, I started to remember why I disliked Tech fans. They really fucking annoy me. They annoy me in that place that had previously only been touched by car salesmen and screaming babies.

But why do Techies annoy me to a point where I want to pop my eardrums with a long stick? It's their blind and unwavering faith. Their faith in anything yellow is amazing. They could be 0-10 going into the UGA game and say with a straight face how Tech is going to make Georgia its prison bitch. And in the cockles of their hearts, they really believe it. Techies truly believe that Tech can win every game. Unfortunately for Tech fans, this unshakable faith comes at the high cost of their common sense; and a lack of common sense makes you look pretty fucking stupid.

The end of Studio 60?

May not.