Football season kicks off in 7 hours and 10 minutes with LSU /Ole Miss.

I'm beyond giddy. I can't wait.

The list of things I'm looking forward to this weekend:

Watching Friday night rehearsal
Running into old friends
Waking up in Athens
The smells of game day
Tailgating
Spending time with good friends
Eating poorly
People watching
Drinking excessively
Reading the local paper
Watching the dressed up coeds
Possible drum show, but unless they've made noticeable improvement form last year; I could care less.
Off the Line
Battle Hymn
Krypton
The awesome lesbian couple that has the season tickets right in front of me for the last five years
Sanford Stadium after the sun goes down
The first kick off
Boiled Peanuts
Making fun of the Mic Man who has sucked since the mid-90s
Halftime
The second half
Post game
Having just one more beer at the tailgating spot
Heading to the house
Watching the recap of Sportscenter while having a little bit of the brown stuff
Sunday breakfast in Athens

Things I'm not looking forward to:
How Damon Evan has managed to cram in more corporate marketing into Sanford Stadium
The drunk environment of a night game, but being that I can't be a part of the solution, I'll be a part of the problem.

I would have paid perfectly good money to have attended this last night. If I had known about it.

AMBER ALERT!!! UGA MISSING

UGA MISSING - LAST KNOWN PHOTO




Thanks Dave B.

I am ready for the weekend and the beginning of football season.

That is all.

Our federal government just announced that they are going to spend 27 million dollars to "research the suspected habitat of the ivory-billed woodpecker". Before I go off the deep end about the government spending 27 MILLION DOLLARS on a fucking bird, let me throw in this kicker. Officials aren't even sure if the ivory-billed woodpecker even exists.

27 MILLION DOLLARS.

ON A BIRD.

THAT MIGHT BE NOT EXIST.

The flagrancy in which our government wastes our money astounds me.


Michael Vick hasn't even been sentenced yet and the NAACP is already pleading to the NFL, the Falcons, the media and the public that he should be allowed to play upon his release from prison. This organization is defending someone that admitted to killing and torturing helpless animals. Why are they defending evil? But this is also the same organization that trashed the Duke lacrosse players before the facts were in. Go ahead and try and tell me that the NAACP is not a racist organization.

I am still very unamused as to the look of this blog. I want to tear the whole thing down, leaving just a picture of me humping the Southern Baptist Convention. Who knew you could hump a convention?

When? Saturday night
Where? Smith's Olde Bar
When? Skirts around 11
Why? To watch Dave and I pretend to be rock stars in 30 second intervals.
Buy tickets in advance, the show will sell out

List this

Don't ask about the new look. I'm not happy, but it's better than the alternative. I paid zero for the previous layout and hosting so I really can't bitch because they decided to close up shop.

The Retroplex is no-more. I would consider the Retroplex the last decent part of 99x. Oh well. I guess that's why I bought an ipod.

Dooce was funny today.

Go to this site and you can get a free Chick-fil-a and a Coke.

One of my daily stops around the internet is Consumerist. The site normally focuses on large corporations and how they screw their customers or how you as the little man can get satisfaction from a conglomerate when you feel that you've been wronged. I was stunned, nay, shocked to see an Athens eatery featured.

Finally, I'm sure most of you saw this article on Senior citizens and the large amount of sex that we didn't need to know they were having. At first, I will admit that I was taken aback by the article. But then I felt really happy for Gunner.

Award winning

Jim just called to congratulate me.

Computers on his company's network are now no longer allowed to access this piddly little site. The reason? Sexual content.

I'm mixed about this. 20% of me is proud that my content has been banned by a corporation. 80% of me thinks it's total bullshit. (But I'm 100% amused.) I'm being censored for a topic I don't write about. Yes, I'm aware that no one at M.L. is actually reading this site. It's a computer program that decides by the words used whether or not to allow the user to access the site and then attaches a weak reason as to why Jim can't read this at work.

It's probably for the best. He should be working anyways. He has a wife and 5 hungry mouths to feed (two kids, three dogs).


Modern Skirts are back in town. Dave and I will be playing along on a few songs. Details.

When: Saturday night. Doors at 8 show starts at 9 with tow openers.
Where: Smith's Olde Bar
Cost: $12 in advance via Smith's website; the last few shows have sold out, so buy in advance, no whining

Dave B had a good point. NyQuil in pill form.
I didn't know they made NyQuil in pill form.
Not that it mattered. All I had in the house was the green death liquid format so it was going to have to do.

But I just finished an email conversation with someone that actually enjoys the taste of not only NyQuil but Robitussin as well.

A slap on the ass for whomever guesses correctly.

I hate Nyquil. I hate NyQuil. I fucking hate NyQuil.

It tastes like black liquorice covered in spoiled eggs left in the sun for 2 or 3 hundred years. And I don't like liquorice to begin with. But I've exhausted all other healing options besides going to the doctor. So I broke down and just did a large shot of green death followed by a cranberry chaser, followed by a glass of Jack Daniels.

I expect to be put into the NyQuil coma in about 15 minutes.

Dennis Leary's No Cure for Cancer is one of my all time favorite comedy albums and probably one of the most influential comedy albums of the 1990's. I only say this because he does a bit on NyQuil that was screaming in my head as I got up the courage to take my medicine.

NyQuil NyQuil NyQuil
We Love You
You Giant Fucking Q

I'm trying really hard not to write the following.

I can almost guarantee that whatever sentence Vick receives will be too lenient. The atrocious stories attached to the indictments of how he killed or assisted in the killing of these animals turns my stomach to an almost vomitious state.

He should be treated the same way he treated those animals.
Cue the banjos and drop the soap.
Enjoy prison Mike! You earned it.

Oops.

After saying it would be a few weeks it ended up only being a few hours before Delta contacted me regarding my rude flight attendant. They profusely apologized which was very kind of them, but they would not refund the cost of the flight. (I had asked for the refund, but I knew it was a long shot.) To my surprise they gave me a hundred dollar credit towards my next flight with Delta. I'll take it and continue to fly Delta; albeit first class from here on out.

Brett asked if I would have switched seats if they had offered a free cocktail. The cost of an adult beverage is five dollars. You can't put a price on the comfort of an empty seat next to you, so I think I would have said no. I believe I would have switched for either a free upgrade to first class on a later flight or a Crown room pass, as I knew I had a three hour layover coming on the way home.

I'm still fighting a chest-throat-head cold that I can't seem to shake. I guess it's good timing though. It's been six days since my last one. Mind still strong.

I was ready and willing to give Senator Fred Thompson a chance.

Until I read this.

Paul told me to check out Ron Paul. I think I really like him.

Just said in my house; "Either way I don't want to check. I'd have to wash my hands."

AND....

I just bought the domain youresobadatlife.com

Random thoughts

I'm getting over a chest, throat, and nose cold that I'm chalking up to travel and wearing myself out while in Vegas. I'm ready to feel better. Soaking my sore throat in pure unadulterated Jack Daniels each night has helped.


I don't want to make a big deal out of this but I'm on day four. I had two on Monday and that was it. I'm hoping it sticks this time. My mind feels strong and determined. Not going out has helped.


I have a ticket for next year's Cask Ale Tasting. Yeah. I'm already excited.


My flight out to Vegas was, for the most part, fine. We landed and took off on time and safely. But there was one flight attendant that was beyond rude. I was sitting half way back next to the window in a row of three on the left hand side of the plane. The only other person on my row had the aisle. A seat between us meant a comfortable flight. After boarding was complete the flight attendant approached me with a passenger standing behind her. She said very politely;

"This woman and her baby have separated seats. Would you mind moving to seat 23E?"

While I'm not sure of the row number, I looked over to see that "23E" was a middle seat in between two people. I replied directly but politely;

"No thank you."

This took the attendant back. She was surprised that I would not help. She asked the man next to me and he also declined the option to be uncomfortable for the next four hours. The flight attendant then said sarcastically;

"Wow, we have a lot of really nice people of this flight don't we? Maybe we should put your baby in between them." (Motioning to me and my row partner.)

Air travel in coach in uncomfortable enough. It is not my fault nor will I feel guilty that this passenger did not plan well enough ahead to get two tickets next to each other.

But the flight attendant overstepped her bounds. She asked a question and I gave her an answer. Just because she received an answer that she didn't want or expect her to hear does not give her the right to be rude and condescending. Furthermore, she embarrassed me in front of the other passengers so much so that I almost walked off the flight. No one should ever be treated the way my row partner I and were treated. I just finished talking with Delta; explaining my story and asking for a refund for that portion of my trip. They said, it should take a few weeks before I hear something in return.


The best part of Vegas happens near the end of my trip and I think it's safe to call it tradition. Chris, Aaron, Mel and I have dinner, drinks, story telling, laughs and memories at Pink Taco. Their company never disappoints and the comfort of their friendship makes it feel like Athens 12 years ago. This year after dinner they took me back to the new house for a tour, a few beers, a screening of their recent 48 hour Film Festival project and a few games of pool. Good times all around and I can't wait to go back and see them again. (I love getting geeky with Mel and Aaron about television.)


I still have some pics I need to post from the trip. I just have to actually get them off of my camera and onto the Interweb. Our official photographer emailed me some additional pictures yesterday that if posted would ensure that I could never run for elected office in Georgia. I think we'll keep those private.

Go look at this

After the convention ended, Kit and I took a cab to the Grand Canal Shoppes at The Venetian. A fun place to people watch but the ninety percent of the stores are out of my price range. Window shopping is fine, but check out the store directory. I have no business actually entering any of these stores.

I don't know art. The only thing I know about Monet and Manet is that one married his mistress and the other had Syphilis. And I learned those facts from a movie. So it is with great trepidation that I approach the subject of art. I don't know it, I don't understand it, and most importantly I don't care for ninety-six percent of it. Probably due to my ignorance on the subject.

But in the Grand Canal Shoppes there was an art gallery of the most beautiful and rich photography of the natural world I have ever seen. I don't know if it was any good. It very well could be considered crap to "real" artists. But to me, it was unreal. The vividness of the colors grabbed and held me. I actually stopped to "smell the roses". To savor what I was seeing. Imagine watching "Planet Earth" one frame at a time.

The photographer's name is Peter Lik. He has multiple galleries in the US and Australia and as you peruse his website looking at the different portraits, keep in mind that the smallest portrait I saw was larger than most movie posters. I wish I had the bank to paint my house is his work .

Catching up on this

I'm using some comp time to recover from the trip. I'm catching up on the Internet and some DVR'd television. Specifically my guilty little secret, Big Brother.

When I saw the clip below I watched it three times, laughing harder each time. For the record, I was not laughing at Tameka or her faith. I was laughing at the absolute idiocy of Jen (the girl in the bunny suit).

When I landed in Vegas the daily high was over 100 degrees. No surprise. But the humidity was over 50%. I don't do Vegas well if the humidity gets over 13-14%. Thankfully, the moisture burned off within a day or two and the residual dryness felt great.

I came home to highs in the hundreds and humidity over 80%. What the hell did you people do to piss off the weather while I was gone?

Cure for wanting kids?

Get seated next to a very precocious and highly intelligent 8 year old girl who's flying home that just HAS to tell you everything she did during her week long vacation. Her mother did nothing to shut her kid up; even after I gave her the wide eyed; "I'm-not-your-baby-sitter-so-get-me-the-fuck-out-of-this-conversation" look. Twice!

Eventually, after trying to excuse myself out of the conversation twice, I did the dick headed thing. I put on headphones, turned on some music, and tried to go to sleep. She kept talking.

And yes, I had the obligatory screaming two year old sitting 5 rows behind me.

Nope. Not kidding. This was the flight from hell.

So it's time to for a change. I'm breaking up with coach. I want the food, the comped drinks, and most of all, the peace and quiet.

I'm home safe.

Pictures and stories from Vegas coming.

After I sleep and remove the pain from my back, feet and knees.

I survived.

Some portions could have gone much better. Some portions went so well, that I'm still stupefied by the sheer blind luck.

This is the greatest tribute act, I have ever seen. I would hire them again in a minute with no hesitation.

I've been so disconnected that I just found out about the trapped miners and Bonds breaking the home run record.

I'm exhausted and going to bed.

After 19 days in a row at work, I'm out of here for the next 11.

No day job, no blogging, one side project and then some rest.

I've had nothing meaningful to say for a while.

I've written about two posts a day, but stuff that I didn't want to or couldn't post.

Until tonight.

I finished third tonight in a free roll that paid out one thousand for first place. I won a measly one hundred dollars for placing third. Yes, I'm happy I made the money, but the hand was a "no-brainer" and I ran into the only hand that could beat me.

Picture this, you play, rehearse, work, whatever...perfectly for three hours, knowing that with only one hour left you will be rewarded handsomely. Then it all comes crashing down around you in less than 30 seconds.

I left crushed and defeated with acquaintances and friends reassuring me that there was nothing I could have done to get away from that hand with three players.

I'm home and I still can't get that hand out of my head. It's going to haunt me for a while. I want to know how the pros lay down KK face up. If I knew how to do that, I'd be a grand richer.