So this starts the journey of changing our family from the "two of us" to the "three of us" and I'm going to blog about some of it. I want this kid to know Georgia Girl and I and what he/she was like before it was born, could walk or talk. I want our offspring to have these memories. Yes, a private journal could also suffice, but I also want to have some fun. Plus, so far, I'm the idiot in every situation. Example A)
October 29, 2008
Today we went to the doctor for a checkup on Xenu Sauve (working title). Even though I've had a mammogram, this would be my first time in a "woman's" doctor's office.After being called into an exam room, the two of us were left alone while we waited on the doctor. Georgia Girl pointed out the sonogram/ultrasound machine and began to explain to me what it was going to do. I obnoxiously interrupted her and the following conversation ensued.
RS: I know what it's going to do. They'll put some jelly on your belly and rub that round thing around in the jelly and then we'll see the baby.And that's when I turned three shades whiter than a virgin dove, and she proceeded to laugh her ass off.
G.G.: Noooo......... The baby's way too small for that. They're going to take the *other* thing (the long and skinny thing on the cart) and put that IN me, to see the baby.
The doctor then came in and did her thing. She's South African and her accent helped relieve some of my anxiety. We saw a head and body, arms and legs and we saw it's heart beating. And it's evidently just the size of a grape. At the end of the appointment, she deemed us healthy and gave us the green light to start telling people. So we did.
But during this visit, something happened. The pregnancy changed from something we talked about to something that became "real". I was under the impression that "real" was a few months away when the kid arrived all covered in goop. It turns out that "real" is when there's a plastic wand in your wife's vagina and a kid waving back at the other end.
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7 comments:
I'd like to add that "real" is also when that thing is buried to the hilt and your mature-o-tron is working overdrive to resist every temptation to make a few dozen dirty comments... and all of the sudden you don't have to resist anymore because holy shit my son or daughter's flickering heartbeat is amazing. And the thirteen-year-old inside steps back to allow the thirty-year-old to gasp at seeing his child for the first time, pulsating with life....
And you're halfway home when you realize that you didn't make a single dick joke.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We still have the in utero pictures of both kids on our fridge.
Sometimes I think they look cuter when they're still baking then once they're out and about and misbehaving.
But most of the time they're fantastic. Fatherhood is a fun journey.
Feel free to ask a few questions; I'm always willing to give out bad advice.
Your last sentence= disturbingly priceless.
Yeah, I was completely taken aback by what I thought would be some tummy-rubbing fun. I think I turned white too. :)
Oh wow, just found out -- what great news! Congratulations!
Everyone's growing up so fast!!!! Congratulations you two!
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