Ka-Caw!!! Ka-Caw!!!

Last night I went to Diesel in Roswell to catch up with old friends, show off Tess and meet a friend’s new baby. The pizza was good and the company was wonderful, but this isn’t about pizza or the company. It’s about the two guys sitting behind us.

When their pizza came, the first gentleman (Bob) put a slice on his place and proceeded to eat all of the cheese, sauce, and toppings off the bread. He practically scraped the crust clean. After he was finished, he passed the half eaten za to Tom. Tom COVERED the bread in Green Chili Tabasco sauce and finished it off. This repeated for at least six slices of pizza.



To each his own, but it was one of the strangest eating rituals I have ever seen. It reminded me how birds feed their young and for what ever reason, I expected Bob to throw up into Tom’s mouth at any moment.

Tess - 2 months

Dear Tess,

Today you turned 2 months old. Over the last two weeks we've gotten into a daily schedule and that's made life easier for everyone. We ceased the 1:00 AM feeding and you're sleeping from 9 PM until about 4:30 AM.

These past weeks you started being interactive. And by interactive, I mean you've started to have non-gas induced smiles. Your smiles are real and it's amazing to watch you develop. Not as cool as watching you put your pacifier back into your mouth but cool none the less.

Last Wednesday, you decided to poop on Meghan. Part of me was thrilled that you've continued your streak of not pooping on me and the other part was mortified. But Meghan assured me that her shirt is fine. She also said that when you go to college, all of the care packages you receive from her will be address to "Miss Pooper".

This past Saturday, you attended your first brew day at Tony's house. We tried out the new refractometer and Tony got his balls repeatedly busted by Tim about the brew system and the fact that we don't use a counter-flow chiller system. Yup it was a good ole nerdy time. Your job was to watch the temperature of the boil kettle. Seriously, when the sparge water hits 172 degrees you need to say something.


And on Sunday, we rested.


Love,

Dad

Tess - Month 1.5

Tess,

In two days you’ll be 7 weeks old. While, I’ve enjoyed our time together, you refuse to get a job or help out around the house and this freeloading crap is getting old.

You came into the world screaming and you really haven’t let up since. I wonder if this is partially genetic seeing that your mother really likes to talk. But I’m fairly convinced it’s because you’re a gassy baby and that particular talent comes from your father.



These first weeks have been a challenge. Sometime good, and sometimes bad. On Saturday, you accidentally put your pacifier back in your mouth and I about shit my pants. I know it was dumb luck as you have as much control over your limbs as I have over my love for summer sausage and boiled peanuts, but you did that and I thought that was great. Watching you progress has been my favorite part.

Then there are the times I can’t seem to do anything right. The late nights that you cry for hours on end makes me want to jump out a window. Parenting is hard and it sucks most of the time, but the moments when you fall asleep on me or when you're easy to feed, makes the hard times bearable.

I do need to thank you for a few things. Unlike what you’ve put your mother through, you have yet to A) throw up on me. And B) You have never, on my watch, filled a diaper to the point of crap oozing out the sides and back. Excellent work on both fronts. Please continue to save those special moments for your Mom.

Rock music is to you, as painkillers were to Michael Jackson. If you're fussy in the car we put on rock music and you go straight to sleep. To date, your taste in music has been excellent.

I don’t know when you’ll start reading these with the comprehension that I’m aiming for, and that scares me a little. But here’s what you need to know; I'm a sarcastic and some times callous individual that will always love you for being you. I might not always like you, but I’ll always love you.

Love,

Dad

P.S. Watch out for Tripp Byrd, that kid is going to be trouble.