• 23:44 @ajbowen Dude!!! Please send our best wishes to you and your family. #
• 21:12 How bad does Diaz feel right now? #fb #
• 21:17 Happy Blasphemy Day! bit.ly/1bE9Ng #

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Tess - 4 months

Dear Tess,

This;


is a pacifier.

When you spit it out; you cry.

Stop spitting it out.


Love,

Dad.

• 23:10 @gvonk I'm tentatively planning on meeting w/ @comcastcares after dinner Thursday night if you're interested. #
• 23:23 @comcastcares Sounds great! #
• 23:24 @gvonk Oops, I meant tomorrow night. #
• 09:04 Speed traps all over 75 N from midtown to Cobb. #atltraffic #
• 12:56 @rustytanton Never. #
• 13:09 Where in @ellengsauve wears a brightly colored vest and stands by the highway. Video:SFW tinyurl.com/yd4hvux #
• 20:30 @brettbawcum Tell that guy to sit down. #
• 20:31 Slow rolling is never acceptable. That's the only thing that makes me what to punch someone. #

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• 23:11 After finishing the season premier of SNL; I believe Kenan Thompson to be the strongest cast member. Over all, 6 out of 10 #
• 23:29 @Ludakit I have HUGE hope for V. Huge fan of the original. #
• 23:29 @BobbyBlackwolf Congrats/Goodluck! #
• 07:38 On 100.5 Larry Munson Jr called in and said; "A Tebow-less Florida beat Kentucky like a census worker." #
• 07:58 After reading a hard copy of the AJC, I'm not sure why anyone would pay a dollar for it. #< /li>
• 08:03 Discount Tire in Kennesaw is awesome. #
• 08:17 @rustytanton No, haven't checked out Butler. This is my 2nd purchase at DT and the service is just fantastic. #
• 10:45 Just discovered the Atlanta Bread Company near the house has closed. Epic fail. #
• 10:54 I'm normaly not a fan of Octoberfest beers but enjoying Left Hand's. #
• 11:48 @BPMackie and your point is....... #
• 11:48 @mostlymuppet just not one of my favorit e styles. #
• 19:28 Due to being sick and work, hit the gym for the first time in weeks. Going to hurt tomorrow. #
• 19:59 @comcastcares I'm up for a tweet up in Atlanta. #
• 20:35 @comcastcares How about Marlow's Tavern (just a few blocks down the street from the Ga Tech hotel) around 8:30? #
• 20:56 @FlagpoleMusic What happened? #

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• 23:09 Heading home and feeling great after the win. This season is a roller coaster. I don't look forward to the drop that is coming. #
• 23:11 @jeffowens95 The PA gve you credit for the blocked field goal. I thought at the time, "How'd that big man jump that high?" :-). Great win!!! #
• 23:24 I don't know what is different tonight from the USC game but there is no traffic. Flying down 316. #knockingonwood #
• 23:27 Spoke way too fucking soon. #
• 23:48 Today I learned that I am taller than UGA President Micheal Adams. But to be fair; I was wearing shoes and he wa s wearing a suit. #fb #
• 00:48 Fixed winning cocktail and settling in for sports center. #
• 12:28 NOT!!!!! #

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• 22:45 RT gondeee RT @robneyer Ready to have your mind blown? www.worldometers.info/ #
• 08:12 RT @edsbs: Tebow. Bacon plague. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. is.gd/3GSsW (via @GatorBenPBP) #
• 09:23 LOL RT @DawgterFeelgood: Tim Tebow has swine flu. College football is cancelled until further notice. #
• 10:25 Congrats Tess. You can scratch "being naked outside in Athens" off your life's to-do list. #fb #
• 15:44 Tate 2 is beautiful. #
• 16:53 Sanford Stadium is cur rently under a lightning warning. Game still scheduled to start on time. #dawgs #
• 17:14 Sanford Stadium is out of the lightning warning. Countdown to kick off is 51 minutes. #dawgs #
• 17:42 The teams have taken the field for warmups. #dawgs #
• 19:44 @Ludakit Enough ASU fans showed up to make a presence and a little bit of noise. #

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• 22:41 Watching recorded Flash Forward and holy shit...(refraining from spoilers) one of my favorite Hollywood peeps made a cameo. #
• 23:16 Ok Flash Forward, your 1st episode was intriguing but slightly forgettable. I will give you 5 more episodes. #fb #
• 08:47 LOL RT @BPMackie twitpic.com/j286k - It will be mine, OH YES, it will be mine. #
• 08:48 @kristendelaney @mostlymuppet speaks at 11:40, go check him out. #
• 09:09 YES! RT @rustytanton @johnoxendine is like a hemorrhoid: not likely to do any serious harm, but irritates y our ass every time you sit down #
• 09:35 @misteroubre BAHAHAHAHAHA! Oops......... #
• 10:19 There goes my evening. #
• 12:52 @davedaly Point, Daly! #
• 15:43 @meghanvarn and they're on Twitter. @loveincupcakes #
• 20:46 @jeffowens95 I like Echofon. #
• 21:16 Mizzou!!!! #
• 21:50 Updating iPhone for MMS #

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• 23:03 I have one ticket available for Saturday's game vs ASU. DM if interested. Please RT. #fb #
• 09:10 @davedaly I like the arts and organization. Feel free to send a check this way. #
• 10:52 &lt;----loves comp time. I'm off all next week! Now.... figuring out what to do with that time. #
• 10:54 RT @MondayNight Gmail service is interrupted more than Taylor Swift #
• 10:58 @davedaly Ok! #
• 12:10 He's been really quiet lately, I wonder if @twe ebow has flu-like symptoms. #
• 14:31 What movies from the last 4 months should see next week? The Hangover? Advice please! #
• 17:48 NBC nightly news has been hijacked by a guy with a mega phone. Brian Williams had to switch to a hand held and you can still hear the guy. #
• 18:29 @meghanvarn And delicious!!!! #

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• 23:18 RT @gvonk If you're willing to criminalize teenage sexual experimentation, you've completely lost touch with reality.gvonk.com/bh854w #
• 00:17 Former President Clinton was great on Letterman. And that's the way charities should be run; privately. www.mycommitment.org #
• 16:57 At Muss And Turner's where I just heard the phrase; "gateway beer". #
• 17:05 At South City Kitchen in Vinings for Cobb County Restaurant Week. #
• 18:57 @geester Which part? #
21:21 Glee was quite good, but I really want it to be a comedy and not a drama with tiny dark comedy pieces. #fb #
• 21:36 This is the funniest thing I've watched all day. bit.ly/1ebtL6 #

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• 22:23 OMFG GMAIL IS DOWN #atlflood #it'sfuckingrainingandweallknowit #gobuildyourark,I'mhangingoutwiththeunicorns #
• 22:36 @gvonk Whew........thanks. :-) #
• 00:05 Personal politics aside; President Obama did very well on Letterman. #
• 14:52 I realize it's a medical condition, that doesn't have a cure, but having an extended conversation with a stutterer is extremely frustrating #
• 21:31 @DrGray10 @mikeinValdosta I've partied w/ASU people they drink anything and everything. #
• 21:32 Damn....Pee Wee Herman got old. #
• 21:59 Pee-Wee was also very unfunny. #

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• 12:06 @pwalters1982 Hope everything goes well! #
• 13:02 Evidently, the lake/pond in front of the neighborhood has flooded the streets making getting home impossible at the present time. #
• 14:38 RT @brettbawcum: So, um, God. I guess the whole rainbow deal is pretty much off, huh? #
• 14:40 Got sent home from work an hour and a half early but 75 is such a mess I should get home around the normal time. #
• 15:05 RT @ATLCheap: Cobb Co. road closures as of 3:30. It's ugly out there: tiny.cc/Y09I2 #atlflood #
• 15:29 RT @ATLCheap: Wow is right. RT @UCDaiiiz Wow! RT @necolebitchie: tell me this is not atlanta twitpic.com/im5z3 #atlflood #
• 18:17 RT @pmclanahan Futurama may have been prophetic after all: tinyurl.com/lq8wlj #
• 18:19 Best lines from that episode; "Ancient Atlanta was more than just a Delta hub..." And... #
• 18:19 Zoidberg: "She's right, I mean, sure, they got the Braves but it's a third-rate symphony." #
• 20:12 Tess proves me right again. She scowled at her mother when she tried to offer her a high five. #
• 21:42 @Gusdavis Welcome to Georgia, Gus. Let me know if you have time for a quick get together. #
• 21:43 One of my favorite Python sketches. bit.ly/EFhmy #

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• 22:38 @geester Don't eat the baby. #
• 22:39 Ahhhhhh......... Winning is fun. #
• 08:24 Riding around in a limo all day with the Rockettes. There are worse things I could be doing. #fb #
• 09:00 Hanging out at the Aquarium before it opens is the way to go. #
• 12:17 RT @CaptainAnnoying: AJ Green misses flight back to GA, leaps over Ark DBs all the way back 2 Athens & beats rest of team home by 15mins. #
• 15:06 Long and tiring but fun day. Headed to the house. #
• 16:23 Just so you know, I prefer the old school puppet version of Yoda to the more recent cgi version. #

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• 00:03 Trust me: this shit is funny. #stuffyoucanttweet #
• 13:13 What a cluster fuck. 2:00 = 2:00 people. #
• 14:49 LOL!!! RT @edsbs Last pre-kick tweet: Die, you fucking hilljacks, die. #
• 14:58 Thank you CBSsportsline.com for putting live football online for free!!! #
• 15:33 ME-TE-OR! ME-TE-OR! ME-TE-OR! #
• 15:34 Did Teebow take Crompton pills this morning? #
• 16:59 Everytime they say "Monte" I think of Toughie Simmon's Dad. #
• 17:28 Thank you card I received today. Had a $25 iTunes gift card inside too. twitpic.com/id3dj #
• 17:33 Suck it Kiffin!!! #
• 17:49 @rustytanton I thought the UT players performed well. But Kiffin had this coming after running his trap. #

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• 22:12 However, the opening for The Office was hysterical! #
• 11:53 @tonysimon Congrats!!! #
• 13:28 @cndktr Does that mean the Air Force is as old as you? #
• 14:03 @leighbsmith If that's what it takes to get ya'll down here for a visit, I'll call him Captain Old Balls ;-) #
• 14:46 @jeffowens95 Don't mess with Geno, he obviously needs some beauty sleep. #
• 15:29 I don't trust anyone who lives on Republican Road. Equal time: OR Democrat Drive. #
• 16:28 Having wings to celebrate @tonysimon & @geester's new addition. #fb #
• 16:54 @jeffowens95 hunker down Jeff. Well be screaming hard from Georgia. #
• 20:14 @dawgtoons it was 17 hours. Long effin' bus ride. :-). Cheers! #

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• 22:03 1 of my dirty pleasures is America's Got Talent. America voted and repeatedly fucked up tonight. Thankfully Terry Fator didn't win again #
• 22:23 HA! The UGA drumline webmaster posted pictures from '96. bit.ly/spYWt #fb #
• 23:33 @duanemoody Just watched it. A very sweet moment indeed! #
• 23:37 @blaketyers Look up Keith Hyde (brother of Kevin Hyde) when you get there. He's good people. #
• 23:39 @phVegas Totally disappointed in America. Was s o rooting for Lawrence Beamen. #
• 00:01 @blaketyers No, but you probably know or heard of Kevin Hyde. Keith is a UGA alum and good guy. I don't know what city. #
• 06:49 FML #
• 14:30 @brettbawcum Suck. #
• 21:09 This is the funniest/most disturbing thing I've seen this week and bonus, it involves the Muppets. tinyurl.com/nfmzp8 HT@meghanvarn #
• 21:59 SNL's Weekend Update Thursday = Lame. #fb #

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• 23:38 @rustytanton No it's not. #
• 23:44 @rustytanton Cheers! #
• 09:51 @ellengsauve THAT'S Fantastic!!! #
• 09:51 @ellengsauve Try not to use the word "Bullshit" on the air. They frown on stuff like that. #
• 10:08 @brettbawcum Ooooooo.........good point. #
• 16:57 I wish tweeting about farting was socia lly acceptable. #
• 21:58 I'm not a Cirque-head but I LOVE vaudevillian entertainment. Needless to say, I want to see this show. tinyurl.com/r8639q #

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• 22:30 @johnwegl Thank you. I plan on taking the message about "baby" to anyone who will listen. #
• 22:31 @OkolePuka Thank Kim. Now get to the tweetin'. :-) #
• 22:36 @HickoryFarms I'm out of summer sausage. Come back and tweet new deals. #
• 22:38 @johnwegl oooOOOOOoooo.....that's a GREAT idea!!! That'll show Jennifer Grey AND her nose. #
• 00:04 Actors/Personalities I would like to be for a day; Mark Pender, Al Chez, Seth Green, Mat t Damon, Teller. #someoneelseforaday #
• 00:05 RT @Ludakit This is ridiculous. is.gd/3hKuZ #
• 00:17 Feeding the drunken midget. #
• 13:27 @Ludakit Whadya win? #
• 17:19 Batmobile; you're doing it wrong. twitpic.com/hv74q #
• 18:51 @ellengsauve Yes. #
• 20:17 Best Swayze picture of the day. bit.ly/4hkf4F< /a> #
• 20:30 @johnwegl That is Awesome! #
• 21:31 @LuxorLV Were you just teasing us? :-) Is there a question coming? #
• 21:34 @pwalters1982 You took the words right out of my mouth. #

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• 11:38 In Athens. Tailgating. Need I say more? #fb #
• 15:28 RT @tonysimon: Whoever green-lighted this Kenny Chesney "This Is Our Time" bullshit needs to be shaken until dead. It's embarrassing. #

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• 22:03 damn......... #
• 22:08 Clemson loses despite NATS playing only a quarter and a half. #
• 15:36 @geester Maybe that's a hint for your birthday. #
• 19:08 Done with work. Heading to Sweetwater for the OPT fundraiser. #

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• 23:30 RT @Ludakit An Open Letter to All Fairweather UGA Fans (NSFW) - shar.es/1a4yc #
• 14:06 Oudin's Mom looks like she's had one too many wine spritzers. #fb #
• 18:05 I'm a Chick-fil-atheist. That means I don't believe in Truett Cathy but his sandwiches are delicious. #
• 19:24 @mhaynor The President has given atheists a shout out, so I'm letting tomorrow's GBY slide. Plus, he means it about as much as believers do #
• 20:43 Shut up Jesse Palmer. #fb #
• 21:47 Shocked.....RT @brettbawcum Per Dir. of UGA School of Music: Tpt Prof. Fred Mills dead tonight following auto accident in Athens. #

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Tess - Your name

Dear Tess,

In the months leading up to your arrival I called you, "'Lil Xenu" and this was an absolute compliment. While some parents are hoping their child will become a lawyer, a doctor or even President; I aimed higher. Why should my dreams hold you back? I thought if you studied *really* hard, and got into a good college; you could one day become a galactic emperor. Just like the one L. Ron Hubbard wrote about.

So while I called you, "Lil Xenu", your mother called you much sweeter things like, "peanut", various fruits and vegetables, and "the thing squashing my bladder'.

But back to the name you received when you came out; Tess. Your Mother's grandmother's maiden name was Tessier (pronounced; Tess ee ay) and she proposed that be your first name. I repeatedly shot it down using excuses like; "We're not raising French royalty." and "Her first name can NOT rhyme with her last name." But I liked the idea of Tess. Short, simple, sweet and most importantly, it was the name of Julia Robert's character in Ocean's 11; one of my favorite movies.

Alexandra was your Mom's call and there's no real story behind that.

But if anyone ever asks where "Tess" came from, you can either say, it's a family name or you were named after one of your Dad's favorite movies.

Love,

Dad

• 01:22 Drowning my sorrows and reliving great college memories with good friends. #fb #
• 17:38 I feel like the stupidest/worst person in the world. #
• 19:46 Natalie is effin' stupid. #bb #
• 21:27 FYI....you can not overdose on alcohol-free Gripe water. #TMYK #

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• 23:22 Unamused with Ticketmaster. The onsale was supposed to happen at 12:01. It's 12:22. #
• 01:11 @Hunter Stay thirsty! #
• 01:22 NPH=funny as hell #
• 10:27 UF currently only has 2 top 25 teams on their schedule. Weak. #
• 10:47 Chipper in a UF Jersey? Ghat damn...... #
• 10:53 @davedaly I known you long enough to give you shit for misspelling my last name. #
• 11:15 @davedaly I have hard time English language. #
• 11:21 Was going to watch the UT game, but Navy is taking it to OSU. #
• 11:29 ROFLMAO @ UT #
• 11:35 @DRphenomENON Crompton's 1st interception of the year goes to WKU. #
• 15:36 RT @Ludakit: Rennie Curran on that last drive basically gave up an INT just to hit the receiver. I wish he could be cloned... #
• 17:53 Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Where's the whiskey? #
• 17: 59 @DrGray10 Bring it. #
• 19:27 Our defensive players need those fancy gloves we keep seeing commercials for. #

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• 00:27 Damn Blount. Way to leave the game........ #
• 00:33 Still stunned at Oregon's Blount. What a classless player. Yes he was taunted, but to have security escort you off the field? tick tock... #
• 00:40 RT @edsbs LeGarrette Blount shouldn't have done that, but if you're going to do it...yeah, do it like that, man. #
• 10:15 Raging against ignorant teachers. Is it really that hard to plan ahead? #
• 19:16 Just read that Blount was suspended for the rest of the season. Good move Oregon. #

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• 22:43 Rewatching Glee #fb #
• 23:43 Does Jason Bateman age? #fb #
• 00:04 Tess - Month 3, posted. bit.ly/114VXD #
• 21:07 Cardio time goes by quickly when there's football to watch. Slowly getting geeked up for Saturday. #
• 22:01 "I feel so strongly that deep and simple is far more essential than shallow and complex." I want to see this tinyurl.com/ld522g #

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Tess - Month 3 The Saga Continues

Dear Tess,

First a confession, I missed two weeks of the past month as I was in Vegas drinking, gambling, and figuring out ways to get Jenna Wolfe to make out with me. Sorry, but as you'll figure out, life is all about priorities.

You've found your hands, which to me really isn't much of anything. You suck on them from time to time and use them to pull your pacifier out which really pisses me off. If you can pull it out of your mouth, you should be able to put it back in. You sort of realize that your hands can push things out of the way. But that's about it. I can only hope your coordination will get better with time.

You did start making noises like you want to talk, but other than the cure for cancer and world hunger you really haven't said anything of note. By the way, Tripp Byrd said the word; "Hi" and he's younger than you. No pressure, but you need to step it up.

I love napping with you. It's my favorite post work activity. Although for the past two days you've been a pain to get to sleep. Hear me now and believe me later; naps are the shiznit. Stop fighting the power of the nap.

You finally had a blow out diaper in my presence. It went through your diaper, clothes and car seat. Honestly, quite impressive. Even more impressive, Meghan and Brett let us change you on their dining room table. Now, we did put down 15 layers of towels and a tent over your lower region just in case you tried to spray their walls and table with the new "in color" Doo-Doo green/brown/yellow.

You've entered the phase I like to call; "drunken midget" you have just enough muscle control to stand if we hold your arms and raise your head and look around. But your lack of muscles makes your head loll from side to side like a sorority girl after one too many shots. It's really funny to me as it appears you could pass out at any moment.

You're smiling and it warms my heart when you look at me and do it. I think that means you don't hate me. But there are times when you won't stop crying that I wonder if you can't stand me. I realize this is irrational, but regardless, it goes through my head. Your smile, by the way is precious, adorable, and everything I can and can't write.

Love,

Dad

• 22:09 Watching my 1st episode of Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock. How have I never seen this show? It's like American Casino is bathing suits. #
• 00:28 @Hunter Dude......Sweet. Now I HAVE to come to PCP. #
• 00:40 @Hunter Dude! That's great! Hook me up! If not, I'm comped at MGM. #
• 00:41 @Hunter My email is firstnamelastname@gmail.com #
• 00:47 @Hunter Thanks! #
• 01:05 I LO VE CHEESE! #
• 11:37 @BenNeill You should be. They're committed to you. #
• 12:32 I can't see my work tweets in my non-work timeline. Can anyone else? The most recent one had to do with The Georgia Theatre. #
• 12:47 @Ludakit Thanks! #
• 12:53 Annoyed at Twitter. I expect three similar Tweets from my work account to come flying out at any inopportune time. #
• 15:25 RT @edsbs Bodog just pulled the line on UGA/OSU. That's betspeak for "Y'all fucked." #
• 15:58 AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE #
• 16:32 @davedaly YES #

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• 23:06 @johnwegl www.sadtrombone.com/ #
• 23:12 @DecorAcademy did you forget about your Twitter account? ;-) #
• 23:12 @BenNeill And I thought Twitter was for updating your sleep patterns. ;-) #
• 23:15 @mdknight Test #
• 23:16 This is Great!!! @bravesorganist #
• 23:53 The Smothers Brothers documentary was very very cool! #
• 07:40 @pmclanahan No mention. #
• 07:42 @airigami Looks great Larry!!! #
• 09:29 The Today Show piece aired and is now online. Fluffier than I expected, but it's great PR none the less. tinyurl.com/nn228y #fb #
• 10:59 @ellengsauve Don't jinx it. #
• 11:00 Made the Huffington Post. bit.ly/3odko6 #
• 11:01 @mhaynor Indeed! #
• 14:56 RT @mostlymuppet petition @georgiagov to Allow people of Georgia to buy beer on Sunday act.ly/h7 RT to sign #
• 15:39 Holy Shit Michael Jackson Died!!! #gmailisdown #
• 17:06 RT @meghanvarn: Aww, Erich Kunzel died. #
• 20:47 This is awesome! Read the FAQ eternal-earthbound-pets.com #

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