Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Welcome home Tess
Dear Tess,
For the last four days you have been bathing in the affection of your mother's Aunts in the great state of Michigan. You were quite pleased to see me in the fact that you and I rolled around on the floor playing for the better part of 15 minutes. And then I had to poop.
There are some things you need to know about your Grandma Patty's side of the family. They are very good people. Very VERY good people. They mean the best at every turn. But they're also Catholic. Guilt-ridden-until-the-day-they-die-clutching-the-rosary-looking-at-the-statue-of-the-dead-guy-on-the-dashboard Catholic. If it seems they're being over-dramatic, they probably are. Please do not engage in this pattern of behavior. But also don't hold it against them. They mean well.
Unlike your flight to Michigan, your plane flight home was not pleasant. While sitting on the plane on your Mom's lap and waiting for take off, your diaper failed. You peed all over your Mom. There was a very kind flight attendant that deemed a leaky diaper to be an emergency so you got permission to go have a diaper change in the bathroom.
You and your Mom got to stand up in an airplane when you're not supposed to. Only time will tell if this is still a big deal when you're reading this. But in this day and age, when people stand up in an airplane without permission, they go to jail. But seriously, try to not pee on your Mom again.
There's going to come a time when you talk back to your mother and when that happens I'm going to come down pretty hard on you for seemingly no reason. Here's the reason. SHE WORE JEANS YOU PEED ON FOR 8 HOURS! And you're still here. Plus the other reason of her squeezing you out of her vagina. I saw it. It really happened.
After takeoff you preceeded to scream, not cry but SCREAM for the entire flight sans 20 minutes. As your Mom put it; "I was just THAT woman with the screaming toddler for 2 hours on a plane. I may cry too!"
All that aside, it's good to have you home. I missed you.
Love,
Dad
For the last four days you have been bathing in the affection of your mother's Aunts in the great state of Michigan. You were quite pleased to see me in the fact that you and I rolled around on the floor playing for the better part of 15 minutes. And then I had to poop.
There are some things you need to know about your Grandma Patty's side of the family. They are very good people. Very VERY good people. They mean the best at every turn. But they're also Catholic. Guilt-ridden-until-the-day-they-die-clutching-the-rosary-looking-at-the-statue-of-the-dead-guy-on-the-dashboard Catholic. If it seems they're being over-dramatic, they probably are. Please do not engage in this pattern of behavior. But also don't hold it against them. They mean well.
Unlike your flight to Michigan, your plane flight home was not pleasant. While sitting on the plane on your Mom's lap and waiting for take off, your diaper failed. You peed all over your Mom. There was a very kind flight attendant that deemed a leaky diaper to be an emergency so you got permission to go have a diaper change in the bathroom.
You and your Mom got to stand up in an airplane when you're not supposed to. Only time will tell if this is still a big deal when you're reading this. But in this day and age, when people stand up in an airplane without permission, they go to jail. But seriously, try to not pee on your Mom again.
There's going to come a time when you talk back to your mother and when that happens I'm going to come down pretty hard on you for seemingly no reason. Here's the reason. SHE WORE JEANS YOU PEED ON FOR 8 HOURS! And you're still here. Plus the other reason of her squeezing you out of her vagina. I saw it. It really happened.
After takeoff you preceeded to scream, not cry but SCREAM for the entire flight sans 20 minutes. As your Mom put it; "I was just THAT woman with the screaming toddler for 2 hours on a plane. I may cry too!"
All that aside, it's good to have you home. I missed you.
Love,
Dad
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tess - 20 months
Dear Ms. Tessmacher,
My resolution for this year is to read and write more for pleasure. So far this year I've read The Man Who Ate the World and I'm *THIS* close to finishing Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. This isn't important other than the fact you should read for pleasure. It's exercise for the stuff between your ears. Plus your Grandmother is aLibrarian, oops, I mean "Media Specialist" and she likes readers.
Writing these letters to you are so beyond fun, but I've made them extremely time consuming and in order to get this stuff done, I've got to change the approach. When these letters started, I wanted them to be perfect so if something ever happened to me before you really got to know me, you'd have an idea of who I was. We're going to attempt to throw that approach away and just write more. Quantity over anal-perfection, which I can't obtain anyways.
So instead of taking notes and saving them up for a post; I'll just write a sentence or two and post it. I think I'll get more memories written down this way. Plus the world will have more fodder to torture you with during your formative years. Sorry in advance.
Words you've got down. Daddy, Momma, Doggy, Oh-uh, Nigh-nigh (Night-Night). The teachers at daycare tell us that your vocabulary there is much greater. We're still waiting for you to bring some of those words home.
You give me a hug and kiss every night before you got to bed. It is without a doubt the best part of my day.
You've been teething for sometime now and I hope we've seen the worst of it. There was a 10 day stretch when you were unsoothable. Nothing made you happy. I don't blame you. I'm sure it wasn't pleasant.
There is this blog; Rules for My Unborn Son and today he posted a link to 12 Rules for My Unborn Daughter. These are not rules in the sense of; you must brush your teeth in the morning and before you go to bed; although that is a very good idea. But good ideas of how to live your life. I'll be posting a few of my own. I leave it up to you as to which one you decide to follow.
Rule 1 - Support small touring bands. Buy their music.
Rule 2 - Learn an instrument. Preferably from the brass or percussion family. And let's clear this up right now. No daughter of mine is going to play the flute. End of story. Don't ask.
Rule 3 - Pay cash.
Rule 4 - He's not good enough for you.
Love,
Dad
My resolution for this year is to read and write more for pleasure. So far this year I've read The Man Who Ate the World and I'm *THIS* close to finishing Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. This isn't important other than the fact you should read for pleasure. It's exercise for the stuff between your ears. Plus your Grandmother is a
Writing these letters to you are so beyond fun, but I've made them extremely time consuming and in order to get this stuff done, I've got to change the approach. When these letters started, I wanted them to be perfect so if something ever happened to me before you really got to know me, you'd have an idea of who I was. We're going to attempt to throw that approach away and just write more. Quantity over anal-perfection, which I can't obtain anyways.
So instead of taking notes and saving them up for a post; I'll just write a sentence or two and post it. I think I'll get more memories written down this way. Plus the world will have more fodder to torture you with during your formative years. Sorry in advance.
Words you've got down. Daddy, Momma, Doggy, Oh-uh, Nigh-nigh (Night-Night). The teachers at daycare tell us that your vocabulary there is much greater. We're still waiting for you to bring some of those words home.
You give me a hug and kiss every night before you got to bed. It is without a doubt the best part of my day.
You've been teething for sometime now and I hope we've seen the worst of it. There was a 10 day stretch when you were unsoothable. Nothing made you happy. I don't blame you. I'm sure it wasn't pleasant.
There is this blog; Rules for My Unborn Son and today he posted a link to 12 Rules for My Unborn Daughter. These are not rules in the sense of; you must brush your teeth in the morning and before you go to bed; although that is a very good idea. But good ideas of how to live your life. I'll be posting a few of my own. I leave it up to you as to which one you decide to follow.
Rule 1 - Support small touring bands. Buy their music.
Rule 2 - Learn an instrument. Preferably from the brass or percussion family. And let's clear this up right now. No daughter of mine is going to play the flute. End of story. Don't ask.
Rule 3 - Pay cash.
Rule 4 - He's not good enough for you.
Love,
Dad
Monday, January 03, 2011
My year in entertainment
The yearly post where I'm once again shocked, SHOCKED, that I watched too many crappy movies and didn't read nearly enough. I've already made plans to rectify this as I have already started and finished The Man Who Ate the World and plan to read at least one book a month (you gotta start somewhere).
Movies
Something Something Something Darkside
Children of Men
500 Days of Sumer
Sherlock Holmes
Untraceable
Up in the Air
Kick Ass
Inglorious Bastards
Alice in Wonderland
The Signal
District Tropic Thunder
Bruno
Solitary Man
Food Incorporated
Cloverfield
Iron Man 2
Hostage
Books
Kitchen Confidential
Musicals/Live Entertainment
Annie
Young Frankenstein
Alvin Ailey
Spring Awakening
Mary Popppins
Phantom of the Opera
Cats
Conan O'Brien
Rain
Sound of Music
Cirque Du Soleil's Viva Elvis
Cirque Du Soleil's Ovo
Movies
Something Something Something Darkside
Children of Men
500 Days of Sumer
Sherlock Holmes
Untraceable
Up in the Air
Kick Ass
Inglorious Bastards
Alice in Wonderland
The Signal
District Tropic Thunder
Bruno
Solitary Man
Food Incorporated
Cloverfield
Iron Man 2
Hostage
Books
Kitchen Confidential
Musicals/Live Entertainment
Annie
Young Frankenstein
Alvin Ailey
Spring Awakening
Mary Popppins
Phantom of the Opera
Cats
Conan O'Brien
Rain
Sound of Music
Cirque Du Soleil's Viva Elvis
Cirque Du Soleil's Ovo
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