Sunday, April 07, 2013

Ignore this.

Coming down from the high a great live music experience can deliver has been hard for me recently.  Example: I've seen Absinthe 4 times and I feel so deflated 5 minutes after it's over. It SO good that you're not just an audience member, you're a part of it.  You are completely enveloped by the performers and music, and lights that you forget everything else around you.  But 10 minutes after I've left the tent, I'm down. I feel a genuine sadness. I'm a little frightened I won't feel that way again. Same goes for some recent shows I've been lucky to have been a part of.

Last Friday was Modern Skirts' last 40 Watt show and it was phenomenal. It was full of life and energy and wonder.  The hugs, laughs, and memories shared backstage were nothing compared to the show these men put on.  This high lasted through yesterday until I went to bed.  I was chatty and full of laughter but today I've been very reserved, quiet, moody, and if I'm being honest, a little sensitive.  Lots of little things have set me off.

I personally do not care for blogs which constantly focus on the author's journey to find themselves. And that's not what this post is or what this will become. I feel comfortable with who I am. But I have noticed this emotional trend and feel like I should identify it enough to at least try and reign it in.  And all of this won't fit on Twitter, so the blog gets a rare post.

But it also brings me to this. I will get old and forget these memories. So I'm writing them down.

My favorite musical moments as a performer
#1 Quiet Hounds - An Ode to Lost Souls - November 2012
#2 Modern Skirts - Last 40 Watt show ever - April 2013
#3 First half of my Junior recital (we don't talk about the last half) - Spring 1997 - Intrada by Otto Ketting if you're so inclined. It's a beautiful piece of music.
#4 I don't remember which etude I choked on but I choked hard in front of a packed Allen Vizzutti masterclass. Nerves won that day. I played it a week later in front of the entire UGA trumpet studio and didn't miss a note.
#5 PASIC 96 - Fall 1996 - Walking off that court was a personal accomplishment for me. (Placed 3rd, should've been 2nd)


Chris Hagood said...

No self-discovery journey on your blog?! For shame!

You aren't alone in sensing this phenomenon. The more you look forward to something, the more "mundane" life can seem just after. I noticed it when I was pretty young. Took me a while to figure out why I was sooooo moody the day after Christmas.

For what it's worth... Figure out what makes you happy and do it more often. (Sorry for the unsolicited advice and for not following your "ignore this" instructions.)

Russell said...

Thanks Chris!

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