Beer Pong; Still never a good idea

Beer this

2012-02-03T00:06:00.001-05:00

For the East Cobb/beer nerd crowd...

For the past 12-18 months the Sprayberry Bottle Shop has tried to break into the craft beer niche. It's been a slow and to be honest a little painful to watch from time to time. But I went in last night and they've turned a corner harder than the time I .... got nothing.

The shelves have plenty of harder-to-find beers that my typical and convenient beer supplier, Sherlock's. In addition, they've started a celler, putting a case or two of tasty treats aside with diligent notes as to the storage and intended release date. And according to the very ambitious beer supervisor (and I believe son of the owner) the intent is to only mark up the aged beers by a dollar or two.

If you are interested, they are posting their craft brew offerings on their Facebook page as they come in. Some are standard fair; Lagunitas Red, Terrapin offerings, and such. But there are some nifty finds like Viking Blod, Innis & Gunn Irish Whiskey cask Stout, Thomas Creek Banana Split Chocolate Stout, and barrel aged Old Rasputin. (Cue Tony commenting that I'm wrong about at least 2 of these being difficult to find because he know more about beer than I know about my own child)

Additional good news. If you see something you know is going to sell out quickly, you can reserve a bottle or four pack or six-pack or whatever through their Facebook page. This is ridiculously cool.

The only downside of Sprayberry Bottle is that they don't do the volume of business like Sherlock's, Green's or Total Wine so their prices are noticeably higher. YMMV. Cheers!

Watch This

2012-02-02T00:08:00.002-05:00

I am an unashamed fan of television entertainment. It is my high-on-acid pipe dream to work on any comedy television show as a writer. But I'm in my mid-30s, past my prime as far as writers go and honestly, not a very good writer. So I do what I can do and that's being a fan.

I have been a fan of late night talkshow television for as long as I can remember. I remember my Mom letting me stay up to watch Carson when Dad was on business trips and specifically remember watching Johnny's last show with Mom.

But in college I gravitated towards David Letterman. Leno was never funny and Dave was kooky and silly but he challenged guests instead of lobbing softballs. I love stupid human and pet tricks and I roll anytime the guys read Oprah transcripts or dump 3000 bouncy balls or 50 watermelon off the roof of the Ed Sullivan theatre. And it isn't the holiday season until Jay Thomas tell the Lone Ranger story and then knocks the meatball off of the Late Show Christmas tree with a football. If you don't know what that last sentence means, then keep watching Leno.

Then there are the hysterical bits; Big Ass Ham, Know your Current Events, Alan Kalter, Will it Float?, Is This Anything?, and visits to the Hello Deli just to name a few. All Awesomesauce.

Dave's best shows have been the emotional ones. His interview with Christopher Reeve, post-accident with a breathing machine controlling his speech was one of the most moving things I have ever seen.

There was his first show back post-heart surgery where Dave introduced the medical team that operated and rehabbed him. I'll never forget how he hugged one nurse and rocked her and then proclaimed; "These are the people who saved my life!!!"

His first show post 9/11 is the one I watch and cry over every year. The footage of Dan Rather trying to hold it together and Dave trying to comfort him is just heart wrenching. This is my connection to 9/11. I didn't know how to comprehend to that event. It was on television and I couldn't understand that it was real. It wasn't until I saw Dave's pain that I started to process the events in New York, DC, and Pennsylvania. I mean no disrespect, but that's what it took to acknowledge these events.

But this week, Dave celebrated 30 years on the air and he's coming up on 20 years at CBS. Just wanted to take a moment and say thanks to a man who has brought me thousands of hours of laughter and who has also demonstrated from tim to time what's really important in life.

Whiskey this

2012-01-31T23:44:00.002-05:00

I ventured into our local booze repository tonight and while checking out I noticed a bottle of Jefferson 18 year Presidential Select 18 Year Whiskey on the counter. Like $100 is an impulse purchase. However, being a fan of the standard Jefferson Small Batch Whiskey, I inquired about the 18 year and was regaled with a very interesting tale.

According to the resident beer nerd, the distillery owned by Jefferson used to be owned by the fine folks that manufactured Pappy Van Winkle. When they moved in and looked in the cellar there were barrels of Pappy aging and getting all sexy for consumption. When the time was right and the whiskey reached the ripe age of 18 years, the Jefferson owners bottled the Pappy and sold it under their own name.

One internet resource tells a similar tale.

Anyone want to split a bottle?

Sick this

2012-01-17T22:50:00.001-05:00

I came down with a cold on December 17th. It was after a speaking engagement in North East Georgia. I was teaching early on the morning of the 14th. I arrived the night before so I wouldn't have to deal with any potential traffic or get up before newspaper boys on bicycles. I arrived, checked-in, met the host committee and prepared for to go out to dinner when a member of the HC waddled up to me, looked down to me and said in a fairly thick southern accent; "You the fancy Atlanta boy who's goin' to teach us how to use the Internet?"

I thought for a second, swallowed, looked up and quietly said; "I work in Atlanta. I'm going to show you how the Fox uses the Internet. And as far as fancy goes sir, I like whiskey and the Georgia Bulldogs."

He grabbed my shoulder and shook me like a rag doll howling with laughter. After dinner I was invited out (read: forced into a car) for drinks with him and another gentleman just like him at a local watering hole. This is where I unlocked a new level of intoxication I didn't know existed. It will be referred to as; "politician-drunk".

But back to this cold. A week after fighting what was just a cold I scooted on down to the doc in the box. I was dismissed after being told it was just a cold and to ride it out. 2 weeks after that I walked into my general practitioner's office and said, "I've had a cold for 3 weeks, fix me." My doctor quickly give me an antibiotic so strong I haven't been allowed to go the gym for the last week. Here we are a week later. The cold is gone but I'm still sloshing fluid around in my lungs. I've coughed so much in the past 4 weeks I've given myself a bulging disc (I checked the spelling of "disc" 4 times.) Tomorrow I'm headed back to the GP for a chest x-ray. Like most things, I'm blaming the politicians.

2011 Recap

2012-01-02T23:11:00.000-05:00

Once again, too many crappy movies and not enough books. But my reading list jumped from 1 in 2010 to 7 in 2011, so that's something. Underlined items were my favorites.

Music - Albums only
Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare
Foo Fighters, Wasting Light
Original Broadway Cast, Rock Of Ages
Original Broadway Cast, The Book Of Mormon
Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies, Ruin Jonny's Bar Mitzvah
Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies, Blow In The Wind
Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies, Are a Drag
Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies, Have Another Ball
Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies, Have a Ball
R.E.M., Collapse Into Now
Mumford & Sons, Sigh No More
Daft Punk, Tron Legacy
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross, The Social Network
Cake, Showroom of Compassion
Girl Talk, Bone Hard Zaggin'
Girl Talk, Stop Cleveland Hate
Girl Talk, Feed the animals
Girl Talk, Night Ripper
Girl Talk, Secret Diary
Girl Talk, Unstoppable
Girl Talk, All Day

Travel
Tuscon, Arizona
Las Vegas, Nevada
Dallas, Texas
Athens, Georgia

Books

The Man Who Ate the World - Jay Rayner

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer - Warren St. John

Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends - Penn Jillette

Last Words: A Memoir - George Carlin

God No! - Penn Jillette

Ron Jeremy: The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz - Ron Jeremy

From Hershel to Hobnail Boot: The Life and Times of Larry Munson - Larry Munson

Live entertainment

Blue Man Group

Absinthe (Incredible and would see over and over and over again)

Mumford and Sons (Can't remember a concert I loved this much)

Movies

Wall Street 2

Airplane!

Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel

Tron: Legacy

Penn and Teller's Magic and Mystery Tour

Blood into Wine

Inception

Family Guy: It's a Trap

Love and Other Drugs

Salt

The Social Network

The Box

Avatar

The Blind Side

Foo Fighters: Back and Forth

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Too Big To Fail

Bruno

Clash of the Titans

War of the Worlds

Despicable Me

The Informant

Superheroes

Predators

Cedar Rapids

American: The Bill Hicks Story

The Invention of Lying

Machete

The A-Team

X-Men: First Class

The People Vs Larry Flynt

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

RED

Friends with Benefits

The Muppets

I am Number 4

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

Captain America

The Company Men

Conan O'Brien Can't Stop

Devil

Thor

Quick note to Tess

2011-07-25T21:50:00.000-04:00

Dear Tess,

One day you'll learn putting your nose into someone's crotch has a very distinct meaning.

Love,

Dad

Hi Internet! Waves frantically

2011-07-11T22:07:00.001-04:00

I've been using MobileMe to run a simple little personal website. It was nothing fancy; just a place to call home on the internet. I'm not super HTML savvy and I didn't have the time to build and do what I wanted from scratch, but iWeb and MobileMe made the experience super easy and mostly brainless. It was a typical Apple product; it just worked. But for whatever lame reason, Apple is throwing out MobileMe like Atlanta Public Schools is throwing away student test results. (Hey-Oooo!)

But there was a page that I kept updated with quotes I liked and the occasional stupid thing I said. So for posterity's sake...

Quotes I Like or Said that I or other people found amusing

"Honestly had I taken this whole career thing seriously I would have named it something else cause it’s the worst fucking band name in the world." - Dave Grohl

"It frightens me the awful truth of how sweet life can be." - Bob Dylan

"Sometimes good command decisions get compromised by bad emotional responses." - Ben Linus

"Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative." - Garrett Vonk

"All we see of someone at any moment is a snapshot of their life: there in riches or poverty, in joy or despair. Snapshots don’t show the million decisions that led to that moment." - Richard Bach

"Beer pong is never a good idea" - RRS

"What Would the flying spaghetti monster do?"

"Never practice two vices at once" - Tallulah Bankhead

"Score one for liquor and poor judgment." - Sheldon Cooper

"I have hard time English Language." - RRS

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson

"I can't kill myself, I have too many responsibilities." - Charlie Bartlett

"We're only a six pack away from justice." - Kit Kitchens

"Without friends, no one would choose to live." - Aristotle

"Give your heart to Jesus, because your ass is mine." - Kit Kitchens

"If you can't be a good example you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning." - Catherine Aird

"Fried okra doesn't travel well." - RRS

"The people who are trying to make this world worse aren’t taking a day off. How can I?" - Bob Marley

Quick note to Tess

2011-04-22T20:53:00.000-04:00

Dear Tess,

The next time you decide to throw a 30 minute tantrum, I'm taping the whole thing and showing it at your rehearsal dinner. You've been warned.

Love,

Dad

iPad RSS Readers

2011-03-21T22:54:00.000-04:00

UPS finally came through and delivered an iPad. I got so tired of waiting for one to fall off the truck, delicately roll up the driveway, knock politely on the door, let itself in and tell charming party jokes, that I bought one.

I have been saving articles on iPad apps for this situation, but one article I missing was a recommendation for an RSS reader. I use Google Reader for almost all of my desktop/laptop online reading but don't care for its layout, appearance or its user interface in the Google app.

I fired up Twitter and asked; "Does anyone have an iPad aggregator app they really like?" Here are the results of answers, searching, and playing.

Pulse: Pros - A sexy app with its black background and curvy logo. A nice absence of glaring colors that would only serve to damage my delicate baby blues. Easy and quick interface to import feeds from Google Reader. Cons - Pulse only allows you to import one feed at a time and you're limited to 12 feeds in 5 categories. That means you're limited to 60 feeds, far short of my needs.

Flud: Another really good looking app... WHEN IT WASN'T CRASHING EVERY MINUTE. I wish I was kidding or exaggerating. Fail.

Flipboard: Pros - No limit on the number of feeds. It imports, not just feeds but entire folders of feeds. Cons - An off-white background that will tire my eyes after a while. It has a distinct magazine feel to it, which I'm not crazy about. The user interface isn't the sleekest, but I'd rather have an app that works than one that looks cool and crashes or limits my usage.

Winner - Flipboard. It's stable and works and at the end of the day, that's what I'm looking for. But if Pulse expands the number of feeds and categories, I'll switch in a heartbeat.

Penn and Teller

2011-03-20T23:11:00.000-04:00

"Because Teller and I believe it is morally wrong to do things on stage that are really too dangerous. It makes the audience complicit, in unnecessary human risk."

What's On My iPhone Home Screen

2011-03-18T11:49:00.000-04:00

Inspired by Tessa's post who was inspired by Jeff's post, this is my version what I have on my iPhone home screen and why. I'm not as technologically savy as the previous posters so this might seem pedestrian.

iPod: In and out of music and podcasts all day, mainly to drown out the office background noise.
iCal: Synced to 6 Google calendars and my work Outlook calendar to tell me where to be when. Maps: While I can now navigate downtown Atlanta with relative ease, I still use Maps more often than I'd care to admit.
Wikipanion: There's never not a reason to not know the answer. Easier and faster than opening Safari.
Calculator: Constantly surprised how often I need a calculator.
Settings: Turning on and off wi-fi all the time.
Netflix: The best companion for long stretches on the elliptical.
Cameras: A folder full of different tools; Best Camera, Apple's Camera and photo, Instagram, Gorilla Cam, QR Reader and Red Laser.
Games: Nothing heavy, but simple fun time killers;
Sol Free - Multiple versions of solitaire and as the title suggests, free.
Snood - Until they fix some control and feel issues, I don't recommend it.
Word Wrap - Arrange letters into as many words as you can in an allotted amount of time.
Compression - A Tetris wannabe.
Touchmines - Basic looking and feeling version of Minesweeper.
Phase 10 - Great game for those who like the real life version.
Fragger - You throw grenades to blow up bad guys, physics based.
Monopoly - Got it on sale for $4.99, bonus of playing with people on the same wifi, but no true multiplayer like Words With Friends.
Angry Birds and Angry Birds Seasons - Totally addicted.
Words with Friends - Fun with 2 person multiplayer.
Tiny Wings - My new addiction. I can't put it down, but I've also been stuck on the same level for over a week.
Goodreads: On my home screen only to serve as a reminder to read more.
Evernote: My GTD app. I also have the desktop version for Mac.
Travel: Misleading title. It's where the apps for GoWalla, EventBrite, Cardstar, Four Square, SCVNGR, Scoutmob and Yelp live.
Clock: Aside from a morning alarm clock, I'm constantly using alarms during the day as reminders.
Echofon: I use this for my two personal Twitter accounts.
Twitter: I use this for the Fox Theatre Twitter account. Why two? To help ensure I don't accidentally post a personal tweet on the work account. That would be bad.
Facebook: I rarely use this for personal use, but for quick access to the Fox Theatre's Facebook page.
The Dock:
Phone - I hate talking on the phone. And by hate, I mean equal to my hatred for baked beans hatred. But I get that's it's a necessary evil.
Mail - Personal email only as iPhones are not supported at work. Don't get me started on this.
Safari - For surfing or going directly to a source page.
Messages - You can avoid making most phone calls by sending a simple SMS.

Quick note to Tess

2011-02-20T22:18:00.002-05:00

Dear Tess,

Your Great-Grandfather died this past Friday at 3:22 PM. You won't remember him but you did meet him. Life's been pretty shitty and jammed full of stress and noise since last Thursday. But tonight you said; "I love you." to me. It sounded an awful lot like; "a wvvve u" but I'll take it. I'm still picking pieces of my heart off the floor.

Rest in peace Paul Russell Sauve

Rule for Tess

2011-01-30T22:57:00.000-05:00

"Never be an asshole" - Natalie Portman

Welcome home Tess

2011-01-25T23:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Tess,

For the last four days you have been bathing in the affection of your mother's Aunts in the great state of Michigan. You were quite pleased to see me in the fact that you and I rolled around on the floor playing for the better part of 15 minutes. And then I had to poop.

There are some things you need to know about your Grandma Patty's side of the family. They are very good people. Very VERY good people. They mean the best at every turn. But they're also Catholic. Guilt-ridden-until-the-day-they-die-clutching-the-rosary-looking-at-the-statue-of-the-dead-guy-on-the-dashboard Catholic. If it seems they're being over-dramatic, they probably are. Please do not engage in this pattern of behavior. But also don't hold it against them. They mean well.

Unlike your flight to Michigan, your plane flight home was not pleasant. While sitting on the plane on your Mom's lap and waiting for take off, your diaper failed. You peed all over your Mom. There was a very kind flight attendant that deemed a leaky diaper to be an emergency so you got permission to go have a diaper change in the bathroom.

You and your Mom got to stand up in an airplane when you're not supposed to. Only time will tell if this is still a big deal when you're reading this. But in this day and age, when people stand up in an airplane without permission, they go to jail. But seriously, try to not pee on your Mom again.

There's going to come a time when you talk back to your mother and when that happens I'm going to come down pretty hard on you for seemingly no reason. Here's the reason. SHE WORE JEANS YOU PEED ON FOR 8 HOURS! And you're still here. Plus the other reason of her squeezing you out of her vagina. I saw it. It really happened.

After takeoff you preceeded to scream, not cry but SCREAM for the entire flight sans 20 minutes. As your Mom put it; "I was just THAT woman with the screaming toddler for 2 hours on a plane. I may cry too!"

All that aside, it's good to have you home. I missed you.

Love,

Dad

Tess - 20 months

2011-01-24T16:05:00.000-05:00

Dear Ms. Tessmacher,

My resolution for this year is to read and write more for pleasure. So far this year I've read The Man Who Ate the World and I'm *THIS* close to finishing Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. This isn't important other than the fact you should read for pleasure. It's exercise for the stuff between your ears. Plus your Grandmother is a ~~Librarian~~, oops, I mean "Media Specialist" and she likes readers.

Writing these letters to you are so beyond fun, but I've made them extremely time consuming and in order to get this stuff done, I've got to change the approach. When these letters started, I wanted them to be perfect so if something ever happened to me before you really got to know me, you'd have an idea of who I was. We're going to attempt to throw that approach away and just write more. Quantity over anal-perfection, which I can't obtain anyways.

So instead of taking notes and saving them up for a post; I'll just write a sentence or two and post it. I think I'll get more memories written down this way. Plus the world will have more fodder to torture you with during your formative years. Sorry in advance.

Words you've got down. Daddy, Momma, Doggy, Oh-uh, Nigh-nigh (Night-Night). The teachers at daycare tell us that your vocabulary there is much greater. We're still waiting for you to bring some of those words home.

You give me a hug and kiss every night before you got to bed. It is without a doubt the best part of my day.

You've been teething for sometime now and I hope we've seen the worst of it. There was a 10 day stretch when you were unsoothable. Nothing made you happy. I don't blame you. I'm sure it wasn't pleasant.

There is this blog; Rules for My Unborn Son and today he posted a link to 12 Rules for My Unborn Daughter. These are not rules in the sense of; you must brush your teeth in the morning and before you go to bed; although that is a very good idea. But good ideas of how to live your life. I'll be posting a few of my own. I leave it up to you as to which one you decide to follow.

Rule 1 - Support small touring bands. Buy their music.
Rule 2 - Learn an instrument. Preferably from the brass or percussion family. And let's clear this up right now. No daughter of mine is going to play the flute. End of story. Don't ask.
Rule 3 - Pay cash.
Rule 4 - He's not good enough for you.

Love,

Dad

My year in entertainment

2011-01-03T21:37:00.000-05:00

The yearly post where I'm once again shocked, SHOCKED, that I watched too many crappy movies and didn't read nearly enough. I've already made plans to rectify this as I have already started and finished The Man Who Ate the World and plan to read at least one book a month (you gotta start somewhere).

Movies
Something Something Something Darkside
Children of Men
500 Days of Sumer
Sherlock Holmes
Untraceable
Up in the Air
Kick Ass
Inglorious Bastards
Alice in Wonderland
The Signal
District Tropic Thunder
Bruno
Solitary Man
Food Incorporated
Cloverfield
Iron Man 2
Hostage

Books
Kitchen Confidential

Musicals/Live Entertainment
Annie
Young Frankenstein
Alvin Ailey
Spring Awakening
Mary Popppins
Phantom of the Opera
Cats
Conan O'Brien
Rain
Sound of Music
Cirque Du Soleil's Viva Elvis
Cirque Du Soleil's Ovo

Tess - 17 months

2010-11-09T23:14:00.000-05:00

Dear Tess,

Tonight, you and I continued our tradition of watching every major late night television event together. So far here is what you and I have watched.

Jay Leno's last show as the host of The Tonight Show
Conan O'Brien's first show as the host of TTS
Conan O'Brien's last show as the host of TTS
And finally the premiere of Coco's new show, simply called; "Conan"

You've might have noticed we skipped over Jay's return to hosting The Tonight Show. I didn't want to stunt your comedy growth.

One of the silly things I want to hopefully pass along to you is my love for late night talk shows, variety shows, and vaudevillian entertainers. When my Dad would travel for business, my Mom would often let me stay up and watch Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. In fact your Grandfather was out of town the night Carson retired and my Mom let me stay up to watch Carson say goodbye. It's a very vivid memory and probably the moment I fell in love with the various late night hosts and characters. I can't wait to watch more with you and more importantly, talk with you about it.

Today, I picked you up from day care and when I put you in the car, you repeatedly asked for "Momma". I've heard you laugh, babble, and sort of say "daaaddYYYY" but I've never really heard your voice until today. I guess it's hard to understand and know what your voice would sound like until you started using words that I can comprehend. But your voice was sweet, soft with a hint of inquisitiveness and further proof that time doesn't slow down for anything. You're growing everyday and everyday I wonder what we did before you were here.

Love,

Dad

Tess - 16 months

2010-09-27T00:45:00.000-04:00

"All we see of someone at any moment is a snapshot of their life: there in riches or poverty, in joy or despair. Snapshots don’t show the million decisions that led to that moment.” - Richard Bach

Dear Tess,

I just read this quote for the first, second and third times and I love it. I have two hopes for you and how we raise you.

1) We raise you to never judge others. Ok, more realistically; we raise you to never judge others in the presence of people you don't trust. We all judge others, it happens. But before casting your opinion, please remember that no matter how much you think you know, you will probably never know the truth or whole story.

2) Never, EVER trust a news story. You can't learn the truth in 30-90 second sound bites. And if you ever go into journalism, I'll have to drop you like my coke habit. (sniff sniff)

I keep notes on you hoping to get an hour or two to write it out, but that time just hasn't materialized in the last month. I'll do better.

Sorry, I haven't written in a while. Work has been....uhm.....hmmm... Interesting. Work is NOT and will NEVER be more important than you. But writing to you has taken a back seat to spending time with you. I'll take the fleeting memories of your laugh any day of the week over my poor story telling posted on the for all eternity.

I love you so much Tess.

Love,

Dad

Tess - 13.5 months

2010-07-07T19:19:00.001-04:00

Dear Tess,

Since your failed attempt at flight, life has been pretty calm. You continue to eat everything in sight and sleep like a log from about 7:30 PM to 8:30 AM. I couldn't be happier with these two traits.

Your newest trick started on Thursday, June 17th when I got to pick you up from daycare. You saw me, yelled "Daa-daa!" and ran into my arms. This would officially mark your first word and the first time you called out for me. (I hate over-exaggerating but isn't this why the Internet was invented?) This is the most earth shattering event of my life. Yes, you emerging from Mom's vagina was certainly a memorable moment and one that no amount of alcohol can ever erase, but this was punch-me-in-the-face-and-spit-down-my-throat memorable.

You called my name and RAN to me. You couldn't wait to for ME to hold you. Not one of the wonderful ladies at daycare or Mom, but ME. Being that you've been stuck in this "THERE-IS-NO-DADA, ONLY ~~ZUUL~~ MOM!" phase for about three months, it was wonderful.

You've since hollered my name out numerous times and correctly directed it at me, but I haven't been there to hear it. I've either been outside mowing the yard or you've seen me through the glass at daycare. But I'll take what I can get.

The only real recent drama is that you graduated. Or your day care teachers kicked you out of the infant room for making out with that little bastard, Cole. It's one of the two. Anyways, you are now in the "young toddler" room. And you hate it like I hate baked beans. Why anyone would cover a delicious vegetable with enough sugar for monkey bread? It's just gross.

Mom dropped you off the first two days in the young toddler room and each time you screamed your head off. So yeah, that's great.....It's hasn't affected her at all.......

So, if you don't mind, can you cut that shit out please? Thanks.

Love,

Dad

Tess - Parenting scare

2010-06-20T23:46:00.001-04:00

Dear Tess,

The moment you were born I was astounded to see how nonchalantly the nurses treated you. They slung you around like a tiny sack of potatoes. They poked and prodded you like you were cattle. Tiny-newborn-cattle, but cattle none the less. It was that moment I realized that babies are not nearly as fragile as I thought. Sure, we have to watch out and take care of you, but you're going to scrape your knees and bump your head and that's normal.

Tonight was our first parenting scare and the first time I thought of you as fragile.

You took a fall. A bad fall from an elevated plane and you landed on a surface as hard as concrete. OK...it was concrete. And believe me this will be THE LAST TIME I'll balance you on spinning plates on sticks. Actually this was a total accident and accidents happen.

You cried for an hour solid and no amount of comforting seemed to help. We called a 24/7 infant nurse and she coached us through how to check you out. You show no signs of falling; no scrapes or bruises and you didn't flinch to being poked and prodded like infant cattle. After a while we were convinced you were OK, so we put you to bed with instructions to wake you in 2 hours to check you out again. Basically we were looking for signs of a concussion.

When we woke you up, you looked at us like we were crazy. You knew you should be sleeping. We knew you should be sleeping, but we've never been happier to wake you up. In fact it was my idea to wake you up five minutes early. I couldn't wait any longer. You seemed fine, just rather annoyed that we disturbed your beauty sleep. A few minutes of play and half a bottle later, you're back to sleep like nothing happened. No signs of a concussion.

As hard as this was to go through, you're tough and you're going to get tougher. But I learned that I'm not. My heart was mush. I hated these past two hours and worried so much about you.

I love you more than you'll ever know.

Dad

Tess - 12 months

2010-06-12T23:31:00.000-04:00

Dear Tess,

If you ever decide to give me any lip about skipping some of your monthly letters, please know that my response will be to ground you until Xenu comes back.

This is going to be kind of a bulleted list and less of a letter. Life's hard, get a helmet.

You turned 1. We had a party. You ate cake and got high on sugar.
I have seen you open mouth kiss a boy. And he kissed back. His name was Cole.
It seems your grunting phase is over and your onto full babbling. Mom said you said "Dadada" over and over again while I was mowing the lawn a few weeks ago, but I'm still not sure if you know my name.
When Mom was feeding you a few weeks ago, you successfully signed the symbol for "more". That really kind of blew my mind a little bit.
I saw you haul off and smack a kid at day care about a week ago. He was all up in yo grill n' stuff. (sorry) So you smacked him. He had it coming. The teacher told and showed you the sign for "gentle" and your demeanor changed instantly. You know a LOT more that you're letting on. You're going to make a great poker player.

Love,

Dad

2010-05-13T21:40:00.000-04:00

The following is a portion of an email I received, addressed to the 535 voting members of the Legislature. Feel free to bring constructive debate.

"The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.

Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.

Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.

War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more.

Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.

Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.

The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM?"

Moving back

2010-04-28T23:11:00.000-04:00

Yup, after a scant few posts, I'm back to Blogger.

As I posted on my last blog over there, the reasons....

1) In order to publish on iWeb I have to be on my personal laptop. The lack of accessibility blows.

2) No tags, so a clear lack of organization.

3) No email notification for comments. Not that I get that many but I want to be able to fight spam and just know what’s being posted when and where on a website that bears my name. Sure, there are features I can purchase, but I’m cheap and don’t want to pay for services I’ve come to enjoy for free.

4) Auto-formatting. As I tried to make a bulleted list of these 4 items, iWeb thought it should interject it’s own formatting. Look, if I need your help I’ll ask for it. Getting around this was similar to fighting auto-formatting in MS Office . It’s just a pain that I don’t care to deal with.

Packing up and moving

2010-03-29T19:21:00.000-04:00

Ok, not really packing up as iWeb won't let me import almost six years of writing from Blogger, but I'm going to try something new for a while. If you like the letters to Tess or how I overreact, feel free to hit the new RSS over on the "new blog" portion of russellsauve.com

National health care. Woo-Hoo!

2010-03-22T00:42:00.000-04:00

So we now have national health care.

I have opinions and none of them matter because the bill passed. I'm aware that everything I'm writing is a pointless rant.

But here they are anyways.

I'm fine with a federal health care plan for freelancers, bartenders, strippers, dance and music instructors, and waitresses.....If they pay for it, in their taxes.

But I'm not OK paying for their health care. Why should I be forced to pay for their health care? I already pay for mine.

And what about the unemployed? Not those that can't work but those that choose NOT to work. Why should I be forced, through paying taxes, to give to those who refuse to work?

Please post a comment. It's going to be a law soon. So tell me why I'm so wrong for having these opinions.

FOOD!

2010-03-18T01:15:00.000-04:00

My Friend, Whitney, had a neat-o post based on the Food Network Show, The Best Thing I Ever Ate. I am lovingly stealing her idea.
Whitney's explanation: "There's been a show on Food Network lately, asking famous chefs, hosts and food writers about their favorite foods. I've been inspired to create my own list using their categories."

Guilty Pleasures: Late night Taco Bell but not their shrimp tacos (creepy). The Fresco menu is pretty good.

Wake Up Call: Patty Melt Plate with no cheese with hash browns; scattered, smothered, chunked and topped, it's the only thing I ever order - Waffle House

Hometown Favorites: The Boss wings and a side salad from Wild Wing.

Sugar Rush: I don't eat sugar but about twice a year I'll have a bite (literally a bite) of Key Lime pie. Other than that sugarfree cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.

Chocolate: See above; I miss Whatchamacallit candy bars and Samoas.

Cheesy: Mom makes an incredible Cheesy Vegetable Chowder which is a misnomer because there's a pound of bacon in it. So cheesy, so good, so bad for you.

Hot and Spicy: TMI wings from Taco Mac

The Classics: Boar's Head Italian sub from Publix.

Crunchy: Raw vegetables. I <3 salads. But not premade. Salads I make.

Totally Fried: OKRA, frozen...fresh.... I don't care. LOVE FRIED OKRA

Bar-B-Que: BBQ1.

With Bacon: Rat Toes from 6 Feet Under. One of the best things I've ever put in my mouth, also on that list; tits.

Pizza: Thin crust loaded with meat, Bellacino's

Between Bread: Hamburger from either Muss and Turner's or Publik.

With My Hands: Hotdog from a street vendor (I love street meat vendors) or from Barker's Redhots.

Holiday: Summer sausage. Which begs the question why is summer sausage so prevalent during the holidays?

Salty Goodness: Boiled peanuts bought from the side of the road on the way to Athens on game day.

Meat Fest: The best steak I ever had was in Nacogdoches, Texas. But I can't remember the name of the restaurant. Also, the onion rings came stacked high in a pyramid on a paper plate.

Snack Attack: Pistachios, cashews, sharp cheddar cheese.

Served Cold: Sushi from Little Buddha in Las Vegas, specifically Yellowtail sashimi with the thinest sliver of jalapeño.

Really? This is the best you have?

2010-03-15T01:27:00.002-04:00

This is my 2000th post and it's as lame as the rest.

I've been going back and forth whether or not to host another NCAA bracket challenge because;
1) I put up the prize and have nothing to gain.
2) I'm lazy
3) I'm fucking lazy

But it looks like I just spent the time setting the damn thing up. So if you want a free shot at a $25 Amazon gift certificate, register at http://sauve.mayhem.cbssports.com/e. The password is bracket.

Bring it bitches.

2009 Russell

2010-03-07T23:23:00.005-05:00

It's a few months late, but here's the movies I watched, shows I watched, books I read and music I purchased in 2009. Lesson learned from keeping this list; I need to watch less shitty movies and read more books.

Movies
Prince Caspian
Juno
Watchmen
Beer Wars
Religulous
Star Trek
Wolverine
GI Joe
Transformers 2
The Hangover
The Proposal
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Terminator 4
Twisted: A Balloonamentary

Live shows
Movin' Out
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Happy Days
A Chorus Line
Jersey Boys
Chicago
The Color Purple
RAIN
Legally Blonde (4 times, I freaking LOVE this show)
Rockettes

Book
The Complete Joy of Homebrewing
I'll Sleep when I'm Dead; The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon
Last Words: A Memoir by George Carlin

Albums
Spring Awakening Sound Track - Duncan Sheik
Do You Believe In Gosh? - Mitch Hedberg
Snacktime - Barenaked Ladies
Hindu Love Gods - Hindu Love Gods
The Wind - Warren Zevon
All I Ever Wanted - Kelly Clarkson
Southern Gothic - The Constellations
Kooza - Cirque Du Soleil

Singles
All Summer Long - Kid Rock
It Came Upon A Midnight Clear - Frank Sinatra
Symphony No. 5 in C Minor, Op. 67 (Fate): I. Allegro con brio - Tbilisi Symphony Orchestra
The Passenger - Iggy Pop
La Virgen de la Macarena - Cincinnati Pops Orchestra & Erich Kunzel
Free - Zac Brown Band
Papa Don't Preach - Glee Cast
Shelter from the Storm - Bob Dylan
All American - Levi Lowrey
Dancing With Myself - Glee Cast Version
Defying Gravity - Glee Cast Version
Sinnerman - Nina Simone
Appalachian Spring Suite - Leonard Bernstein & New York Philharmonic
The Saints' Hallelujah - The Canadian Brass
Amazing Grace - The Canadian Brass
Piano Sonata No. 11 in A, K. 331 -"Alla Turca": Rondo Alla Turca - The Canadian Brass
French Suite No 5 In G BWV 816 - James Rhodes
Love Shine Bright - Culture
All That Jazz - Chicago - The Musical
Don’t Walk Away - Xanadu Soundtrack
Happy Holiday / Let Yourself Go - Irving Berlin's White Christmas - The Musical
I Know It's Today - Shrek - The Musical
In the Still of the Night (I'll Remember) - Dirty Dancing (Original Cast Recording)
Practically Perfect - Mary Poppins (Original London Cast Recording)
Sherry - Jersey Boys (Original Broadway Cast Recording)
Superboy and the Invisible Girl - Next to Normal (Original Cast Recording)
96,000 - In the Heights (Original Cast Recording)
Longview - Green Day
Holiday - Green Day
Basket Case - Green Day
When I Come Around - Green Day
The Book of Love - Peter Gabriel
Even a Dog Can Shake Hands - Warren Zevon
As you are - Garfunkel and Oates
The End - Garfunkel and Oates
i-would-never-rehearsal-track - Garfunkle and Oates
pregnant-women-are-smug - Garfunkel and Oates
Worst song medley - Garfunkel and Oates
Fuck You - Garfunkel and Oates
Indiana Indian - Modern Skirts
Trouble - Ray LaMontagne
Smoke - Ben Folds Five
Brick - Ben Folds Five
Glory with "Angel Tag" - UGA Redcoat Band
You Are the Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne
Darling Nikki - Foo Fighters
Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money
Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band
Battle Hymn With Larry Munson Audio - UGA Redcoat Band
Glory With Angel Tag - UGA Redcoat Band
Someday I Suppose - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Life Is a Highway - Tom Cochrane
Dear Deer - Kate Micucci
Mr. Moon - Kate Micucci
Out the Door - Kate Micucci
Going to Georgia - The Mountain Goats
Dance Music - The Mountain Goats
No Children - The Mountain Goats
I Got You Babe - Sonny & Cher
Daysleeper - R.E.M.
Superman - R.E.M.
At My Most Beautiful - R.E.M.
Poor Poor Pitiful Me - Warren Zevon
Lawyers, Guns and Money - Warren Zevon
Mutineer - Warren Zevon

Dream this.

2010-03-04T23:24:00.004-05:00

I have an unattainable dream. I've never confessed it to anyone and no it's not porn. (Somethings aren't possible without medical assistance.) But I've been thinking a lot about my dream recently and the levels of which desires likes this can come to fruition.

Everyone has a seemingly unattainable dream. For some it might be becoming an astronaut. For others, a professional musician playing with a major symphony. But there are levels to these dreams. You might not travel to space, but you can learn to fly. You might not play with chicago or New York but you can get paid playing church gigs, weddings or with a band.

Under the influence of wings, chili pups, and beer, I decided to take a small step towards this dream. Just to feel a part of it. Chances are, I'll crash and burn and that'll be ok. Just taking the step is enough to satisfy this dream. There will be no notice of this ahead of time but I'll post my findings after the fact. This should be entertaining for everyone but me.

Tess - 9 Months

2010-03-03T22:48:00.003-05:00

Dear Tess,

A few days ago you turned 9 months old. You've now spent more time out in the world than you did in the womb. I consider this is a HUGE milestone; no one else will, but I do.

When you were born, I couldn't imagine what you'd be like at 9 months, let alone 9 days. Now I find myself wondering when you'll walk and when you'll say; "Dad" and actually direct it at me. You're actively talking now and by "talking" I mean endless and meaningless babbling. You will say; "dadadadadadadadadadadadadadada *breath* daddadadadadadadadadada *breath*; repeat. You have entire conversations with yourself like this and you're completely happy! If you were any cuter you would poop bunny guts.

You raise your arms when you see me to be picked up and you know that when I hold you a certain way, it's nap time. You smile all the time and.....you're crawling. You're officially mobile. You went for the dog food last night. Repeatedly.

Watching you learn basic lessons of physics, albeit the hard way, is hysterical. When you're on all fours and you reach for something, you haven't learned to adjust your center of gravity; so you fall over and most likely catch yourself with your face. If there's one thing you need to know about me; I think people falling down is the funniest thing ever. When you fall hard, I'll pick you up, hold and comfort you until you realize that you don't hurt as bad as you scared yourself. Once everything has blown over, I sit back and giggle.

While I don't want you to get any bigger, I can't wait for you to be old enough to share with you the things that make me laugh. I want to listen to 1970's Steve Martin with you; and 1990's Dennis Leary (even though he stole some material) and Mitch Hedburg and Craig Shoemaker and Lenny Bruce and Bill Hicks. All types of comedy. And I really can't wait to tell you about Johnny and The Rat Pack and Letterman and the chin, and Conan.

Shit; then there's all this great music I have to force on you too.

Love,

Dad

What going outside is like

2010-02-15T20:57:00.005-05:00

I have a whole new appreciation for stay at home parents. Tess's daycare was closed and I had comp time so she and I spent the whole day together. We could've just sat around the house eating, sleeping, and shitting our pants together; that would have been a huge piece of cake. But we had a long to-do list to accomplish today.

I'm ever thankful that Tess is such a laid back baby. She went through her doctor's appointment with flying colors. The guys at Batteries Plus gave her funny looks but I don't think they get many babies in there. (By the way Batteries Plus, the battery pack you made doesn't work. I'll be back for my $18.00.) And the lady at the bank almost came through the unnecessary "security" plexiglas to hug you.

But as cool and chill as Tess is, taking a baby around makes every task a little more difficult. It's not the actual moving her from place to place; physically going to locations is easy. The grocery store for example; park near the cart receptacle, place baby in shopping cart, go grocery shopping. It's the other people that make running errands with a baby difficult.

It's a very awesome feeling when other people stop me just to look and smile at Tess for a few minutes. They asked about her name and age and proceeded to dote on how cute she is. It's fantastic, it really is.

But here I am; out of the house, with an infant, by myself. I have a scruffy beard (and head), wearing jeans that were in style during the "It's-ok-to-be-white-and-wear-baggy-jeans" era and a UGA sweatshirt that's spotted with baby food. And that odor you smell is a combination of my unclean body with a dash of baby poop from the two AMAZINGLY dirty diapers I've already cleaned today. (Tess shits like a giant panda.)

What makes you think that I have the time just to hang out and talk to you, a perfect stranger at the grocery store? I have shopping to do, dinner to make, laundry to do, other errands to run and RIGHT NOW this baby is as close to an angel as it going to get. You want to ruin my day by tempting the fates of what she's going to do next? She could decide you're scary and burst out crying. She could decide that it's time to blow out her diaper. Or she could decide to sprout wings and a beak and bite your nose off. I'm new at this and most of the time I'm not sure what comes next.

Like I said, I have a new appreciation for stay at home parents that do this on a daily basis.

Flick this

2010-02-12T23:15:00.002-05:00

I finally got off my ass and uploaded a ton of photos to Flickr.

Tess June/July
Tess 1st photo shoot
Tess's 1st Brew day
My Vegas trip from last August
Rockette's media tour
Tess September
Tess October

White whining

2010-02-08T23:31:00.002-05:00

Breaking what some would consider to be the first rule of blogging; this is about blogging. A boring and self-serving topic to say the least.

I wish I wrote more (whine), I wish I had more time to write (whine) I wish the Super Bowl commercial starring the "Green Police" didn't scare the fucking-awesome-chili-Dave-made, out of me (FACT).

I need to write. It accelerates the mental process of events and emotions through my alcohol and drug (prescribed) laced brain. Writing is therapeutic. It's a good thing. I miss it.

Speaking to myself; I will try really hard to make the time to write more. And also to document more of Tess's shenanigans. As a disclaimer, here's a Bart Simpson chalkboard.

My job is awesome!!!

2010-02-02T15:43:00.001-05:00

I just finished chatting with someone I don't know who, in the middle of the phone call said; "Hold on, I have a leg cramp." She proceeded to have a Very loud 40 second oragasm in my ear. Not being able to hold it togeter, I put her on mute and laughed my ass off. When she finished, she said; "I'm so sorry for this obscene phone call." and promtly hung up."

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tess - 8 months

2010-02-01T23:28:00.003-05:00

Dear Tess,

A coworker handed me a bunch of clothes for you to wear when you're bigger, say around the time you're 3 to 4 years old. The clothes themselves are cute, brand new, and came with the big bonus word of FREE!!!

But looking at these clothes was like being hit by a rocket powered 18-wheeler piloted by Chuck Yeager on cocaine. Shit.....you're going to get bigger. Much, much, much, MUCH bigger. I can't imagine you wearing those dresses or wearing shoes that look like real people shoes. Looking at the clothes made me wonder what you're going to be like and what you're going to look like.

All of this pondering led me to one fairly easy to arrive at conclusion.

I HATE THE IDEA OF YOU GROWING UP.

I like it about as much as you like having your face washed. Which is to say, I want to throw a screaming hissy fit about the whole damn thing. I'm aware a tantrum isn't going to do any good. It did make me realize that I should be more aware of these fleeting moments and probably document them more often.

And speaking of washing your face; since you started daycare your nose is one constant stream of mucus. I have never imagined or wanted to imagine the volume of snot that you're able to put out on an hourly basis. It's as if you're part snail and you have to cover the earth with your clear oozy slime trail to get from one place to another. Gross, cut it out.

Other new party tricks....you wave. Better explained, you're mimicking. When someone enters the room and they wave at you; you wave at them. You also started lifting your arms to indicate that you want to be picked up. This is especially noticeable when I pick you up from day care. When you look up at me, realize who I am, smile and then raise your arms at me, it is the best part of my day/week/whatever. It's those moments I think I could explode with joy. And all this from a thing that a few months ago, couldn't do anything aside from cry, eat, sleep and drive me and your mother absolutely bat shit crazy.

You're scooting and rolling over at will. Not crawling yet, but scooting on your butt just a few inches in any direction to obtain a toy or get closer to the dog. This means I've started looking at ways to secure the TV to the entertainment center and the entertainment center to the wall and other devices to make sure you can't slime the DVR and DVD player with your snot covered hands. I love you, but I love Lost and my electronics more.

Final note. You've been eating "solid food" for I think about a month. "Solid food" meaning pureed stuff out of a jar. No one tells you this before you become a parent but the poop of an infant goes through a dramatic caterpillar/butterfly like metamorphosis when you add "solid food". Your poop went from a thick yellowy liquid to solid adult-style poop with a smell so horrific that most times, I want to scream HOLY SHIT CALL THE CDC!!!! And it is absurdly sticky. I'm fairly certain we could rebuild Haiti using 2 x 4's and your poop as the cement.

Love,

Dad

Advice

2010-01-23T00:50:00.002-05:00

"All I ask is one thing. And I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch. Please do not be cynical, I hate cynicism, for the record it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets excactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind; amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien, January 22nd, 2010.

#teamconan

An email from Tess's daycare

2010-01-22T21:18:00.002-05:00

Dear Parents,

I have attached your child’s weekly newsletter which will give you a picture of their activities and fun from the week.

Next Friday we will be celebrating “White Day” and everyone is invited to wear a white shirt. The classes will be having “White Parties” on that day, please look for a sign-up sheet on the classroom doors.

Tess - 6.5 months

2009-12-13T22:46:00.004-05:00

Dear Tess,

In the past month you've achieved 100% accuracy when placing the pacifier back in your mouth. It might not always be the correct end of the pacifier, but I'll take what I can get.

You've started solid food which has had a direct impact on you sleeping through the night. This has made a remarkable impression on deciding whether or not to keep you. Congrats, you made the weekend cut.

You're sitting up by yourself with a 75% success rate. The other 25% of the time, you tip over. You're scooting around a bit, but not actually moving. I'm totally ok with this. I'm trying to enjoy every peeaceful moment right now, because any day now you're going to be totally mobile and that means a new level of parenting.

You started waving but I'm not sure if it's intentional. But when you wave at me and smile. I wave back and smile.

God damn you're adorable.

Love,

Dad

Recall this

2009-11-01T19:55:00.002-05:00

There's a recall underway to get Rev./Dr. John Crooks removed from the Cobb School Board.

Cue happy dance!

Whomever thought electing a church minister and in particular THIS minister, to a school board would be a good idea, I quote the following passage from this MDJonline.com article.

"Crooks remained silent during the meeting, but when a Journal reporter approached him after the meeting to obtain a comment as to why he voted the way he did, Crooks, a minister at Roswell Street Baptist Church, began yelling angrily at the reporter, issuing a stream of derogatory comments, before warning the reporter to "watch out" in the future."

What a hypocrite. Told ya.

2009-10-21T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:17 The new Magic Mouse looks like something out of Star Trek. #
22:18 Best Halloween costume bit.ly/129DXK #
23:08 @alanashley I write blogs that I'll never publish all the time. My fear is that one day I'll accdntlly hit "publish" instead of "save" :-) #
23:48 I want to win! #riovegas #
20:11 @phVegas Happy B-day! Hope it's a great one! #

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2009-10-20T23:01:00.001-04:00

23:44 Wishing I was in Vegas #
23:46 @anitamartini Switch to the Monopoly machines! And happy birthday! #
14:27 When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." - R Dawkins. No god. #atheism #
14:57 #1 TT on twitter is "no god". bit.ly/1oaTXM #

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2009-10-19T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:36 @gvonk I have my own shampoo. #
16:06 Homeless man peeing on a bench near the Starbucks on peachtree. Big day Atlanta. Big day. #

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Tess - 4.5 months

2009-10-18T23:52:00.003-04:00

Dear Tess,

This month has come with lots of changes. First, you've left the "drunken midget" stage and entered the "pterodactyl impersonation" phase. Meaning you're more in control of your body and less likely to fling your head into my chest, but you've found your voice box and enjoy figuring out how high and long you can scream in a flying dinosaur-type way.

You found your feet but are unsure what they're for, other than repeatedly pulling your socks off.

Pulling your pacifier out of your mouth has become a common occurrence. However, you've shown a much improved ability to put it back into your mouth. Meaning that you pull it out at least five-hundred and eighty-two times today and you put it back it twice. You try often and are successful rarely, but I'll take it.

We added formula to your diet this week. For no other reason than to let your mother get more sleep. You took to it like I expect you to take to Jack Daniel's and good beer. Cheers!

Thursday night you and I had a date night at Wild Wing with Uncle Kit. Everything was going well until you blew out your diaper. And by "blew out" I mean you crapped so hard, it could have been used in a Mythbusters' episode. I have no idea how you shit so hard as to blow dung out the back of your diaper, but you do. Don't get me wrong, it's impressive. But ease up a little bit, you're going to blow an o-ring or something.

Friday night, you met your great-grandfather yesterday and he stared at you with love in his eyes. He just turned 90, so I don't know if you'll ever remember him, but he'll remember you. There was a wonderful sparkle in his eyes. Yes, you're special, but don't let that go to your head.

But the past 6 weeks have made the first 3 months worth it. You respond and interact. You smile and frown. You are starting to play and your personality develops more every day. You are a very sweet and tolerant child and I find myself loving you more everyday.

Love,

Dad

2009-10-18T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:36 In case I hadn't mention this before; I love the Penn and Teller show at the #riovegas #
18:10 RT @BernieDawg: RT @MIkeInValdosta: Mike Slive handles @SECFootball officials the way Don King handles boxing judges. #Fail #Fix @Cheat #

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2009-10-17T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:46 Rio in Vegas on twitter #RioVegas #
00:35 @VegasChrisH Happy anniversary! Have a great meal and day! #
10:58 @johnwegl I got your gay love right here. We can dance the night away at #RioVegas #
14:54 Go Dawgs!!! #fb #
15:07 Usubscribed from David Hale's blog. Felt really really good. #
20:34 @erictheblack Please tag videos like that as NSFW. #

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2009-10-16T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:47 Watching the tribute to Fred Mills. Should have done this weeks ago just didn't have the heart to do it. #fb #
08:23 Phrase I didn't think I'd use today; I'm delievering a breast pump. #
09:08 @dawgtoons Or the Six Flags dude? #
12:46 Victoria Jackson from SNL is 50 years old. Put that in your handstand pipe and smoke it. #
13:21 Another unexpected result of growing my hair out; I can feel the wind blow through my hair. Totally different sensation from being bald. #
16:16 @pwalters1982 Its a month long experiment. #
16:17 My car smells like 20+ pounds of grain. That's cause it's Brew Day! #fb #
17:43 SOMEBODY loves brew day!! twitpic.com/lsjoo #

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2009-10-15T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:29 @TheStripPodcast Yeah...but that's according to @robin_leach.... #
23:30 Always funny when Kimmel visit the barber shop. #
00:02 @awolproductions Have you tried teaming up with P&T for and AIDS discount/blood drive? #
00:21 In what universe does Fallon get the Monty Python cast? Disappointing = the interview was rehearsed. #
10:19 @popcandy "Have that removed" from Stripes. #
12:03 @mostlymuppet Happy birthday! #
13:26 Filing a claim against half.com user, oxbirds. Ordered the 4th season of Weeds a month ago and never received it. #
16:19 Oh Atlanta traffic, how I loathe thee. #
17:58 Daddy/ daughter date night at ye olde Wild Wing. #
19:55 @anitamartini That totally blows. May I get you another cocktail? #
20:42 @Hunter I use this site, but would like better options. www.lasvegasvegas.com/poker/tournaments.php #

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2009-10-14T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:32 David Hale's blog is really starting to annoy me. Half the time he's writing about writing and defending his opinion as a writer. #
23:06 @jeffowens95 Happy Birthday Jeff! #
13:47 Very thankful for iPhone and ear buds. #
14:45 Made it to Tuesday afternoon before having to restart this POS Windows machine. #
21:10 I wonder who the intended demographic for Glee is. #fb #
21:46 @TheStripPodcast "Standing outside the Fountains& quot; #

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2009-10-13T23:00:00.001-04:00

10:29 @MondayNight That's the same feeling I get from my sex workers. #
21:54 @phVegas Maybe...tell me more! #

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2009-10-12T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:05 Having unrealistic thoughts of what I would do if I won the lottery. #
22:35 @BobbyAsher Seriously, stop it. You're making me constantly hungry. #
09:10 Cool! A HTML/HEX to RGB color converter. bit.ly/QH4ov If it was 1995, I'd feel so ahead of the curve. #
12:36 For as much as I hate Microsoft, it pains me to admit just how much I like Powerpoint. #

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2009-10-11T23:00:00.001-04:00

09:42 RT @ModernSkirtsUSA: Going into the studio at Chase Park with Drew V. to get "Eveready" set up for Rock Band. You heard me. #
13:03 RAIN, the Beatles show, is very very very good. #fb #
18:38 @rustytanton Nice! #
21:40 @gvonk Re:SNL. I think they bailed on doing an actual impersonation. They tried that, but nothing about the way he talks is funny. #
21:40 Bill O'Reilly vs Richard Dawkins bit.ly/2Q9nhm #

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2009-10-10T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:21 Wanna feel old? It's the 20th anniversery of TMBG's "Flood". tinyurl.com/ykrkco8 #
22:30 That's the first time I have ever heard a mic'ed ref say "my bad". Funny funny shit. #
08:15 @gondeee Have fun! Big bucks, no whammies!!! #
12:12 Wondering when we forgot how to tackle. Or if we ever even knew. #
12:24 If there is a false start then blow the play dead. That's the way players get hurt. Dumb ass SEC refs. #
12:40 Who 's playing quarterback for UT? That certainly isn't the Crompton we've seen all season. #
13:19 Crompton and Cox have changed abilities for the day. #fb #
13:33 THAT'S the Crompton I know. #
13:49 RT @BernieDawg: Hey Willie..ur gettin skool'd by college fooootbalz villij ideeot! #
13:50 I'm going to sleep. Wake me next football season. #
13:50 I'm going to sleep. Wake me next football season. But only if Martinez is gone. #
13:56 Well this is a fucking stellar development. twitpic.com/l0152 #
14:02 Caustic phone call to Peachtree TV completed. If it happens again their number is 404-575-7888. #
18:25 @the5thqurtrshow Debating allugadawg is a waste of time; she has more loose screws than Ga Tech has nerds. #

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2009-10-09T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:36 @capnbecki Can you email me that or tweet a link? Sounds very cool! #
22:47 Damn it Mizzou!!! #
22:57 Take the last tweet and repeat as necessary. #
23:11 Jezzis.......Why are there NBA scores on the ticker? Didn't their season just end? Please raise your hand if you care about the NBA. #
23:59 I just realized I have a flu shot scheduled for the morning. This is my thrilled face. #
07:26 @LadyOob Congrats!!! #
07:27 As I pulled onto Lower Roswell I realized I should take Tess to daycare and not with me to work. #
10:34 RT @CobraCommander Your Nobel Prizes amuse me. It must make one feel good to win an award who's top qualification is a lack of balls. #
12:16 @gvonk He was very gentle. #
15:38 @perhaes Yes....to the best comps. I'm an MGM/Mirage guy, but if I receive better offers from other properties, I'll take them up on it. #
16:43 At @tmacmetropolis for dinner. Ordering their chicken nachos with chips on the s ide is the way to go. #
16:44 Also, @AtlantaBeer is here. Younger and thinner than I expected him to be. #
17:05 Don & @atlantabeer pouring the cask of Terrapin Big Hoppy Monster. #
17:07 The pic thy should have accompanied that last tweet. twitpic.com/kvs3f #
21:46 @themestome She stole my heart and my cat? #

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2009-10-08T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:01 Hate to say it but Mitch Hedburg's recent album (released posthumously), kind of bites. #
22:09 Because of my new beautiful baby girl, I can't make Podcastapalooza. But I'm THRILLED to hear that it'll be streamed live. #vegas #
22:54 @DeviousMuse Had the same issue. It was the coils. I banged my head against the wall and then turned over the 1k to get it replaced. #
01:02 Just finished watching last night's Letterman. Paul's stories were fantastic!!! #
07:14 @Ludakit Umpteenth presentation of your career; can't hold anything back. #
07:18 Good morning uber hipster douche bag dropping his kid off at daycare. They paint the stripes in the parking lot for a reason. #
12:15 Don't know what felt stranger; holding the comb or the sensation on my scalp that I havn't felt in 9-10 years. #
13:53 @davedaly Not yet. You'll see for yourself on Saturday. #
13:54 If this monthly hair experiment has tought me one thing, it's that I've lost a lot of hair in the last 9-10 years. #
16:53 @ModernSkirtsUSA ROFL #
20:21 @johnwegl ME TOO!!! twitter.com/russellsauve/status/3415652151 #
20:27 RT @brettbawcum Verizon pranks customer with "the network." Cute. SFW. Via mentalfloss.com. bit.ly/ZAh6g #
20:35 @Ludakit LOL. I'm watching it now, expect a full written review followed by a cuddle. #
21:32 Mizzou!!! #
21:43 I can't believe I made it through the first minute of The Office without vomiting. #

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2009-10-07T23:00:00.001-04:00

08:59 Woke up feeling better, feeling worse as the day goes on. Doing shots of Robitussin at my desk. Could go for a glass of NyQuil on the rocks #
10:29 RT @phVegas If you're wondering, today's "Google Doodle," is a bar code celebrating 57th anniversary of bar code's patent on 10/7/52 #
18:07 @davedaly next time spend the money on a new basement and hookers. #
19:55 @Ludakit WOOHOO!!! #
19:56 @meghanvarn Also....WOOHOO!!! #
20:26 @meghanvarn The "WOOHOO!!!" was in reference to "more booze". And also about the Friday thing, but mainly, the booze. #
20:40 @phVegas This is my jealous face. AGT is my summer time guilty entertainment pleasure. #

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SPLASH!!! Can you hear me now?

2009-10-07T21:00:00.004-04:00

Georgia Girl drops things all the time. Drinking glasses, noodles, miscellaneous electronics (thus why we have separate iPods and digital cameras), ~~babies~~ (not yet), and her laptop (thus why she isn't allowed to use my Mac).

She also treats electronic equipment with the same reckless abandon that I unleash on Jehovah's Witnessess and any other solicitors who ring my doorbell during nap time.

Today, these two idiosyncrasies collided as her two week old Blackberry leapt out of her hand and submerged itself into the toilet.

After being rescued and placed in front of the hair dryer for a spell, the Blackberry is doing just fine.

I didn't ask if the water in the toilet was pre or post use. But I also don't intend on touching her phone again either.

Tess's new favorite song

2009-10-06T23:22:00.002-04:00

To the theme of "Spider-man" or "Spider-pig" depending on your point of pop culture reference.

Spider-Tess,
Spider-Tess,
Does whatever a Spider-Tess can.

Fill her pants;
with the poop.
Likes to suck;
on the boob.
Look out;
Here comes the Spider-Tess

2009-10-06T23:00:00.001-04:00

07:27 One of the few bonuses from staying home sick from work; West Wing reruns on Bravo. #
08:32 The side effects of Max strength Robitussin are highly underrated. Good night Phoenix! #
16:00 Why yes, I think I will have another shot of Robitussin. #

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2009-10-05T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:29 Ellen just slept walked. We had a 3 minute conversation that she won't remember. That was some funny funny shit. #
00:02 @rustytanton "Slapfight" might be the best term for Sat. I wouldn't bet this game either way, we don't know which teams are going to show. #
12:27 Brando says get rid of Excessive Celebration, starts at 4:49. bit.ly/9GA0v #
15:44 It didn't cost us the game but... RT @dawgtoons SEC head of officials: Refs made bad call on Green penalty: tinyurl.com/yelutb6 #
1 7:11 @mgmgrand 1 free night for all of your followers!!! #
19:58 Zicam To-Go is the worst tasting medicine I've had in a long time. At least NyQuil has the big "Q" to lull you into your green coma. #fb #

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2009-10-04T23:00:00.001-04:00

14:27 Yard slayed and meatloaf for tomorrow's dinner is in the oven. Chilling on the couch with Tess. #
19:21 Tallgrass IPA. VERY mild malt flavors, not well balanced, very sneaky & bitter hoppy finish. Very drinkable. tinyurl.com/y9zb5co #
21:11 I'm not shaving until October is over. This includes my head that hasn't been covered since c. 1999. Good luck everybody. #
21:31 @Ludakit Well there's not much left to grow. #
21:31 @davedaly Not yet. #

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2009-10-03T23:00:00.001-04:00

00:15 Happy Birthday @manofgeorgia #
18:34 The only thing that can make this day bearable is if Tech gets spanked. #
18:39 @brettbawcum done. #
20:20 Most people that call into the @the5thqurtrshow are idiots. No disrespect to the onair talent; just the dialers. #

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2009-10-02T23:00:00.001-04:00

09:36 Last day off from work; can't hold anything back. #
10:56 At Muss and Turner's for lunch. Burger, fries and a Brdigeport IPA. Last day of vacation; can't hold anything back. #
16:47 I love Pulpwood Smith, NSFW bit.ly/27brqB #
19:34 If Pitt followed Louisville's lead, their jerseys would read "The Sburgh" #

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2009-10-01T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:13 Oh Come On Glee! More funny, less drama! #fb #
00:13 Madonna on Letterman; always at least mildly amusing. #
12:19 @davedaly Had a great time. Thanks for the tour. #
18:14 @catherinedk we're at the bar. Come by and say hi. #

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2009-09-30T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:44 @ajbowen Dude!!! Please send our best wishes to you and your family. #
21:12 How bad does Diaz feel right now? #fb #
21:17 Happy Blasphemy Day! bit.ly/1bE9Ng #

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Tess - 4 months

2009-09-30T10:41:00.003-04:00

Dear Tess,

This;

is a pacifier.

When you spit it out; you cry.

Stop spitting it out.

Love,

Dad.

2009-09-29T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:10 @gvonk I'm tentatively planning on meeting w/ @comcastcares after dinner Thursday night if you're interested. #
23:23 @comcastcares Sounds great! #
23:24 @gvonk Oops, I meant tomorrow night. #
09:04 Speed traps all over 75 N from midtown to Cobb. #atltraffic #
12:56 @rustytanton Never. #
13:09 Where in @ellengsauve wears a brightly colored vest and stands by the highway. Video:SFW tinyurl.com/yd4hvux #
20:30 @brettbawcum Tell that guy to sit down. #
20:31 Slow rolling is never acceptable. That's the only thing that makes me what to punch someone. #

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2009-09-28T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:11 After finishing the season premier of SNL; I believe Kenan Thompson to be the strongest cast member. Over all, 6 out of 10 #
23:29 @Ludakit I have HUGE hope for V. Huge fan of the original. #
23:29 @BobbyBlackwolf Congrats/Goodluck! #
07:38 On 100.5 Larry Munson Jr called in and said; "A Tebow-less Florida beat Kentucky like a census worker." #
07:58 After reading a hard copy of the AJC, I'm not sure why anyone would pay a dollar for it. #< /li>
08:03 Discount Tire in Kennesaw is awesome. #
08:17 @rustytanton No, haven't checked out Butler. This is my 2nd purchase at DT and the service is just fantastic. #
10:45 Just discovered the Atlanta Bread Company near the house has closed. Epic fail. #
10:54 I'm normaly not a fan of Octoberfest beers but enjoying Left Hand's. #
11:48 @BPMackie and your point is....... #
11:48 @mostlymuppet just not one of my favorit e styles. #
19:28 Due to being sick and work, hit the gym for the first time in weeks. Going to hurt tomorrow. #
19:59 @comcastcares I'm up for a tweet up in Atlanta. #
20:35 @comcastcares How about Marlow's Tavern (just a few blocks down the street from the Ga Tech hotel) around 8:30? #
20:56 @FlagpoleMusic What happened? #

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2009-09-27T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:09 Heading home and feeling great after the win. This season is a roller coaster. I don't look forward to the drop that is coming. #
23:11 @jeffowens95 The PA gve you credit for the blocked field goal. I thought at the time, "How'd that big man jump that high?" :-). Great win!!! #
23:24 I don't know what is different tonight from the USC game but there is no traffic. Flying down 316. #knockingonwood #
23:27 Spoke way too fucking soon. #
23:48 Today I learned that I am taller than UGA President Micheal Adams. But to be fair; I was wearing shoes and he wa s wearing a suit. #fb #
00:48 Fixed winning cocktail and settling in for sports center. #
12:28 NOT!!!!! #

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2009-09-26T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:45 RT gondeee RT @robneyer Ready to have your mind blown? www.worldometers.info/ #
08:12 RT @edsbs: Tebow. Bacon plague. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. is.gd/3GSsW (via @GatorBenPBP) #
09:23 LOL RT @DawgterFeelgood: Tim Tebow has swine flu. College football is cancelled until further notice. #
10:25 Congrats Tess. You can scratch "being naked outside in Athens" off your life's to-do list. #fb #
15:44 Tate 2 is beautiful. #
16:53 Sanford Stadium is cur rently under a lightning warning. Game still scheduled to start on time. #dawgs #
17:14 Sanford Stadium is out of the lightning warning. Countdown to kick off is 51 minutes. #dawgs #
17:42 The teams have taken the field for warmups. #dawgs #
19:44 @Ludakit Enough ASU fans showed up to make a presence and a little bit of noise. #

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2009-09-25T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:41 Watching recorded Flash Forward and holy shit...(refraining from spoilers) one of my favorite Hollywood peeps made a cameo. #
23:16 Ok Flash Forward, your 1st episode was intriguing but slightly forgettable. I will give you 5 more episodes. #fb #
08:47 LOL RT @BPMackie twitpic.com/j286k - It will be mine, OH YES, it will be mine. #
08:48 @kristendelaney @mostlymuppet speaks at 11:40, go check him out. #
09:09 YES! RT @rustytanton @johnoxendine is like a hemorrhoid: not likely to do any serious harm, but irritates y our ass every time you sit down #
09:35 @misteroubre BAHAHAHAHAHA! Oops......... #
10:19 There goes my evening. #
12:52 @davedaly Point, Daly! #
15:43 @meghanvarn and they're on Twitter. @loveincupcakes #
20:46 @jeffowens95 I like Echofon. #
21:16 Mizzou!!!! #
21:50 Updating iPhone for MMS #

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2009-09-24T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:03 I have one ticket available for Saturday's game vs ASU. DM if interested. Please RT. #fb #
09:10 @davedaly I like the arts and organization. Feel free to send a check this way. #
10:52 <----loves comp time. I'm off all next week! Now.... figuring out what to do with that time. #
10:54 RT @MondayNight Gmail service is interrupted more than Taylor Swift #
10:58 @davedaly Ok! #
12:10 He's been really quiet lately, I wonder if @twe ebow has flu-like symptoms. #
14:31 What movies from the last 4 months should see next week? The Hangover? Advice please! #
17:48 NBC nightly news has been hijacked by a guy with a mega phone. Brian Williams had to switch to a hand held and you can still hear the guy. #
18:29 @meghanvarn And delicious!!!! #

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2009-09-23T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:18 RT @gvonk If you're willing to criminalize teenage sexual experimentation, you've completely lost touch with reality.gvonk.com/bh854w #
00:17 Former President Clinton was great on Letterman. And that's the way charities should be run; privately. www.mycommitment.org #
16:57 At Muss And Turner's where I just heard the phrase; "gateway beer". #
17:05 At South City Kitchen in Vinings for Cobb County Restaurant Week. #
18:57 @geester Which part? #

21:21 Glee was quite good, but I really want it to be a comedy and not a drama with tiny dark comedy pieces. #fb #

21:36 This is the funniest thing I've watched all day. bit.ly/1ebtL6 #

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2009-09-22T23:00:00.000-04:00

22:23 OMFG GMAIL IS DOWN #atlflood #it'sfuckingrainingandweallknowit #gobuildyourark,I'mhangingoutwiththeunicorns #
22:36 @gvonk Whew........thanks. :-) #
00:05 Personal politics aside; President Obama did very well on Letterman. #
14:52 I realize it's a medical condition, that doesn't have a cure, but having an extended conversation with a stutterer is extremely frustrating #
21:31 @DrGray10 @mikeinValdosta I've partied w/ASU people they drink anything and everything. #
21:32 Damn....Pee Wee Herman got old. #
21:59 Pee-Wee was also very unfunny. #

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2009-09-21T23:00:00.001-04:00

12:06 @pwalters1982 Hope everything goes well! #
13:02 Evidently, the lake/pond in front of the neighborhood has flooded the streets making getting home impossible at the present time. #
14:38 RT @brettbawcum: So, um, God. I guess the whole rainbow deal is pretty much off, huh? #
14:40 Got sent home from work an hour and a half early but 75 is such a mess I should get home around the normal time. #
15:05 RT @ATLCheap: Cobb Co. road closures as of 3:30. It's ugly out there: tiny.cc/Y09I2 #atlflood #
15:29 RT @ATLCheap: Wow is right. RT @UCDaiiiz Wow! RT @necolebitchie: tell me this is not atlanta twitpic.com/im5z3 #atlflood #
18:17 RT @pmclanahan Futurama may have been prophetic after all: tinyurl.com/lq8wlj #
18:19 Best lines from that episode; "Ancient Atlanta was more than just a Delta hub..." And... #
18:19 Zoidberg: "She's right, I mean, sure, they got the Braves but it's a third-rate symphony." #
20:12 Tess proves me right again. She scowled at her mother when she tried to offer her a high five. #
21:42 @Gusdavis Welcome to Georgia, Gus. Let me know if you have time for a quick get together. #
21:43 One of my favorite Python sketches. bit.ly/EFhmy #

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2009-09-20T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:38 @geester Don't eat the baby. #
22:39 Ahhhhhh......... Winning is fun. #
08:24 Riding around in a limo all day with the Rockettes. There are worse things I could be doing. #fb #
09:00 Hanging out at the Aquarium before it opens is the way to go. #
12:17 RT @CaptainAnnoying: AJ Green misses flight back to GA, leaps over Ark DBs all the way back 2 Athens & beats rest of team home by 15mins. #
15:06 Long and tiring but fun day. Headed to the house. #
16:23 Just so you know, I prefer the old school puppet version of Yoda to the more recent cgi version. #

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2009-09-19T23:00:00.001-04:00

00:03 Trust me: this shit is funny. #stuffyoucanttweet #
13:13 What a cluster fuck. 2:00 = 2:00 people. #
14:49 LOL!!! RT @edsbs Last pre-kick tweet: Die, you fucking hilljacks, die. #
14:58 Thank you CBSsportsline.com for putting live football online for free!!! #
15:33 ME-TE-OR! ME-TE-OR! ME-TE-OR! #
15:34 Did Teebow take Crompton pills this morning? #
16:59 Everytime they say "Monte" I think of Toughie Simmon's Dad. #
17:28 Thank you card I received today. Had a $25 iTunes gift card inside too. twitpic.com/id3dj #
17:33 Suck it Kiffin!!! #
17:49 @rustytanton I thought the UT players performed well. But Kiffin had this coming after running his trap. #

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2009-09-18T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:12 However, the opening for The Office was hysterical! #
11:53 @tonysimon Congrats!!! #
13:28 @cndktr Does that mean the Air Force is as old as you? #
14:03 @leighbsmith If that's what it takes to get ya'll down here for a visit, I'll call him Captain Old Balls ;-) #
14:46 @jeffowens95 Don't mess with Geno, he obviously needs some beauty sleep. #
15:29 I don't trust anyone who lives on Republican Road. Equal time: OR Democrat Drive. #
16:28 Having wings to celebrate @tonysimon & @geester's new addition. #fb #
16:54 @jeffowens95 hunker down Jeff. Well be screaming hard from Georgia. #
20:14 @dawgtoons it was 17 hours. Long effin' bus ride. :-). Cheers! #

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2009-09-17T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:03 1 of my dirty pleasures is America's Got Talent. America voted and repeatedly fucked up tonight. Thankfully Terry Fator didn't win again #
22:23 HA! The UGA drumline webmaster posted pictures from '96. bit.ly/spYWt #fb #
23:33 @duanemoody Just watched it. A very sweet moment indeed! #
23:37 @blaketyers Look up Keith Hyde (brother of Kevin Hyde) when you get there. He's good people. #
23:39 @phVegas Totally disappointed in America. Was s o rooting for Lawrence Beamen. #
00:01 @blaketyers No, but you probably know or heard of Kevin Hyde. Keith is a UGA alum and good guy. I don't know what city. #
06:49 FML #
14:30 @brettbawcum Suck. #
21:09 This is the funniest/most disturbing thing I've seen this week and bonus, it involves the Muppets. tinyurl.com/nfmzp8 HT@meghanvarn #
21:59 SNL's Weekend Update Thursday = Lame. #fb #

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2009-09-16T23:00:00.001-04:00

23:38 @rustytanton No it's not. #
23:44 @rustytanton Cheers! #
09:51 @ellengsauve THAT'S Fantastic!!! #
09:51 @ellengsauve Try not to use the word "Bullshit" on the air. They frown on stuff like that. #
10:08 @brettbawcum Ooooooo.........good point. #
16:57 I wish tweeting about farting was socia lly acceptable. #
21:58 I'm not a Cirque-head but I LOVE vaudevillian entertainment. Needless to say, I want to see this show. tinyurl.com/r8639q #

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2009-09-15T23:00:00.001-04:00

22:30 @johnwegl Thank you. I plan on taking the message about "baby" to anyone who will listen. #
22:31 @OkolePuka Thank Kim. Now get to the tweetin'. :-) #
22:36 @HickoryFarms I'm out of summer sausage. Come back and tweet new deals. #
22:38 @johnwegl oooOOOOOoooo.....that's a GREAT idea!!! That'll show Jennifer Grey AND her nose. #
00:04 Actors/Personalities I would like to be for a day; Mark Pender, Al Chez, Seth Green, Mat t Damon, Teller. #someoneelseforaday #
00:05 RT @Ludakit This is ridiculous. is.gd/3hKuZ #
00:17 Feeding the drunken midget. #
13:27 @Ludakit Whadya win? #
17:19 Batmobile; you're doing it wrong. twitpic.com/hv74q #
18:51 @ellengsauve Yes. #
20:17 Best Swayze picture of the day. bit.ly/4hkf4F< /a> #
20:30 @johnwegl That is Awesome! #
21:31 @LuxorLV Were you just teasing us? :-) Is there a question coming? #
21:34 @pwalters1982 You took the words right out of my mouth. #

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2009-09-12T23:01:00.001-04:00

11:38 In Athens. Tailgating. Need I say more? #fb #
15:28 RT @tonysimon: Whoever green-lighted this Kenny Chesney "This Is Our Time" bullshit needs to be shaken until dead. It's embarrassing. #

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2009-09-11T23:01:00.001-04:00

22:03 damn......... #
22:08 Clemson loses despite NATS playing only a quarter and a half. #
15:36 @geester Maybe that's a hint for your birthday. #
19:08 Done with work. Heading to Sweetwater for the OPT fundraiser. #

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2009-09-07T23:02:00.001-04:00

23:30 RT @Ludakit An Open Letter to All Fairweather UGA Fans (NSFW) - shar.es/1a4yc #
14:06 Oudin's Mom looks like she's had one too many wine spritzers. #fb #
18:05 I'm a Chick-fil-atheist. That means I don't believe in Truett Cathy but his sandwiches are delicious. #
19:24 @mhaynor The President has given atheists a shout out, so I'm letting tomorrow's GBY slide. Plus, he means it about as much as believers do #
20:43 Shut up Jesse Palmer. #fb #
21:47 Shocked.....RT @brettbawcum Per Dir. of UGA School of Music: Tpt Prof. Fred Mills dead tonight following auto accident in Athens. #

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Tess - Your name

2009-09-07T20:30:00.003-04:00
Dear Tess,

In the months leading up to your arrival I called you, "'Lil Xenu" and this was an absolute compliment. While some parents are hoping their child will become a lawyer, a doctor or even President; I aimed higher. Why should my dreams hold you back? I thought if you studied *really* hard, and got into a good college; you could one day become a galactic emperor. Just like the one L. Ron Hubbard wrote about.

So while I called you, "Lil Xenu", your mother called you much sweeter things like, "peanut", various fruits and vegetables, and "the thing squashing my bladder'.

But back to the name you received when you came out; Tess. Your Mother's grandmother's maiden name was Tessier (pronounced; Tess ee ay) and she proposed that be your first name. I repeatedly shot it down using excuses like; "We're not raising French royalty." and "Her first name can NOT rhyme with her last name." But I liked the idea of Tess. Short, simple, sweet and most importantly, it was the name of Julia Robert's character in Ocean's 11; one of my favorite movies.

Alexandra was your Mom's call and there's no real story behind that.

But if anyone ever asks where "Tess" came from, you can either say, it's a family name or you were named after one of your Dad's favorite movies.

Love,

Dad

2009-09-06T23:02:00.001-04:00

01:22 Drowning my sorrows and reliving great college memories with good friends. #fb #

17:38 I feel like the stupidest/worst person in the world. #

19:46 Natalie is effin' stupid. #bb #

21:27 FYI....you can not overdose on alcohol-free Gripe water. #TMYK #
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2009-09-05T23:02:00.001-04:00

23:22 Unamused with Ticketmaster. The onsale was supposed to happen at 12:01. It's 12:22. #

01:11 @Hunter Stay thirsty! #

01:22 NPH=funny as hell #

10:27 UF currently only has 2 top 25 teams on their schedule. Weak. #

10:47 Chipper in a UF Jersey? Ghat damn...... #

10:53 @davedaly I known you long enough to give you shit for misspelling my last name. #

11:15 @davedaly I have hard time English language. #

11:21 Was going to watch the UT game, but Navy is taking it to OSU. #

11:29 ROFLMAO @ UT #

11:35 @DRphenomENON Crompton's 1st interception of the year goes to WKU. #

15:36 RT @Ludakit: Rennie Curran on that last drive basically gave up an INT just to hit the receiver. I wish he could be cloned... #

17:53 Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Where's the whiskey? #

17: 59 @DrGray10 Bring it. #

19:27 Our defensive players need those fancy gloves we keep seeing commercials for. #
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2009-09-04T23:02:00.001-04:00

00:27 Damn Blount. Way to leave the game........ #

00:33 Still stunned at Oregon's Blount. What a classless player. Yes he was taunted, but to have security escort you off the field? tick tock... #

00:40 RT @edsbs LeGarrette Blount shouldn't have done that, but if you're going to do it...yeah, do it like that, man. #

10:15 Raging against ignorant teachers. Is it really that hard to plan ahead? #

19:16 Just read that Blount was suspended for the rest of the season. Good move Oregon. #
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2009-09-03T23:02:00.001-04:00

22:43 Rewatching Glee #fb #

23:43 Does Jason Bateman age? #fb #

00:04 Tess - Month 3, posted. bit.ly/114VXD #

21:07 Cardio time goes by quickly when there's football to watch. Slowly getting geeked up for Saturday. #

22:01 "I feel so strongly that deep and simple is far more essential than shallow and complex." I want to see this tinyurl.com/ld522g #
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Tess - Month 3 The Saga Continues

2009-09-03T00:45:00.004-04:00
Dear Tess,

First a confession, I missed two weeks of the past month as I was in Vegas drinking, gambling, and figuring out ways to get Jenna Wolfe to make out with me. Sorry, but as you'll figure out, life is all about priorities.

You've found your hands, which to me really isn't much of anything. You suck on them from time to time and use them to pull your pacifier out which really pisses me off. If you can pull it out of your mouth, you should be able to put it back in. You sort of realize that your hands can push things out of the way. But that's about it. I can only hope your coordination will get better with time.

You did start making noises like you want to talk, but other than the cure for cancer and world hunger you really haven't said anything of note. By the way, Tripp Byrd said the word; "Hi" and he's younger than you. No pressure, but you need to step it up.

I love napping with you. It's my favorite post work activity. Although for the past two days you've been a pain to get to sleep. Hear me now and believe me later; naps are the shiznit. Stop fighting the power of the nap.

You finally had a blow out diaper in my presence. It went through your diaper, clothes and car seat. Honestly, quite impressive. Even more impressive, Meghan and Brett let us change you on their dining room table. Now, we did put down 15 layers of towels and a tent over your lower region just in case you tried to spray their walls and table with the new "in color" Doo-Doo green/brown/yellow.

You've entered the phase I like to call; "drunken midget" you have just enough muscle control to stand if we hold your arms and raise your head and look around. But your lack of muscles makes your head loll from side to side like a sorority girl after one too many shots. It's really funny to me as it appears you could pass out at any moment.

You're smiling and it warms my heart when you look at me and do it. I think that means you don't hate me. But there are times when you won't stop crying that I wonder if you can't stand me. I realize this is irrational, but regardless, it goes through my head. Your smile, by the way is precious, adorable, and everything I can and can't write.

Love,

Dad

2009-09-02T23:02:00.001-04:00

22:09 Watching my 1st episode of Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock. How have I never seen this show? It's like American Casino is bathing suits. #

00:28 @Hunter Dude......Sweet. Now I HAVE to come to PCP. #

00:40 @Hunter Dude! That's great! Hook me up! If not, I'm comped at MGM. #

00:41 @Hunter My email is firstnamelastname@gmail.com #

00:47 @Hunter Thanks! #

01:05 I LO VE CHEESE! #

11:37 @BenNeill You should be. They're committed to you. #

12:32 I can't see my work tweets in my non-work timeline. Can anyone else? The most recent one had to do with The Georgia Theatre. #

12:47 @Ludakit Thanks! #

12:53 Annoyed at Twitter. I expect three similar Tweets from my work account to come flying out at any inopportune time. #

15:25 RT @edsbs Bodog just pulled the line on UGA/OSU. That's betspeak for "Y'all fucked." #

15:58 AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE, AXE #

16:32 @davedaly YES #
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2009-09-01T23:02:00.001-04:00

23:06 @johnwegl www.sadtrombone.com/ #

23:12 @DecorAcademy did you forget about your Twitter account? ;-) #

23:12 @BenNeill And I thought Twitter was for updating your sleep patterns. ;-) #

23:15 @mdknight Test #

23:16 This is Great!!! @bravesorganist #

23:53 The Smothers Brothers documentary was very very cool! #

07:40 @pmclanahan No mention. #

07:42 @airigami Looks great Larry!!! #

09:29 The Today Show piece aired and is now online. Fluffier than I expected, but it's great PR none the less. tinyurl.com/nn228y #fb #

10:59 @ellengsauve Don't jinx it. #

11:00 Made the Huffington Post. bit.ly/3odko6 #

11:01 @mhaynor Indeed! #

14:56 RT @mostlymuppet petition @georgiagov to Allow people of Georgia to buy beer on Sunday act.ly/h7 RT to sign #

15:39 Holy Shit Michael Jackson Died!!! #gmailisdown #

17:06 RT @meghanvarn: Aww, Erich Kunzel died. #

20:47 This is awesome! Read the FAQ eternal-earthbound-pets.com #
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2009-08-31T23:03:00.001-04:00

08:50 @misteroubre Good luck getting that thing cleared up. #

09:22 @airigami Is that confirmed? #

10:22 Everytime I breath in I'm reminded how adding a 10 pound medicine ball to my ab workout was a bad idea. #

11:40 @airigami Ha! Nice! Well good luck! #

18:32 Take 2: The Today Show piece shot in Vegas will air tomorrow morning around 8:45 with teasers starting at 8:00 AM. #fb #

20:04 www.georgiathea tre.com has a new website. Makes me hopeful. #

20:45 Don't ask me why I'm watching the CMA's in the 1st place, but Sugarland just butchered the hell out of REM. Go on w/your fake accent. #fb #

21:30 @johnwegl I'm not holding the remote. #

22:00 Watching a PBS documentary on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. #
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2009-08-30T23:02:00.001-04:00

15:44 Wow, from last year's suggested $20 donation to this year's $37 ticket, I don't think I'll be attending the Cask Ale Tasting. #

20:09 @jeffowens95 White. Yellow is the color of piss and Ga Tech. #
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2009-08-29T23:02:00.001-04:00

22:05 Yeah, we mine while we brew. twitpic.com/fnmwk #

21:01 If you were guarded by Secret Service, what would you want your code name to be? #
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2009-08-28T23:02:00.001-04:00

22:12 Overheard in my house; "I sucked him like a Capri Sun." #

10:00 Just read that Reading Rainbow has been cancelled. Part of my childhood just died. #

10:01 And now the Reading Rainbow theme song is stuck in my head. My co-workers are ready to revolt. #

10:17 Just received an email newletter from Tess's future daycare. The word of the day is; "surreal". #

10:40 @MondayNight I expect, nay Demand, that sexy photo be taken during the un-boxing and assembly process. #

10:55 Snow Leopard has been delivered to the house. #
11:22 @pmclanahan Upgrading, unless you give me a reason to do a fresh install and then restore from Time Machine. #
12:33 RT @BPMackie Good news,"Comin' to your ci-TAY" is GONE!The bad news?Kenny Chesney is singing the new Gameday theme.tinyurl.com/lvz4xy #
12:47 @alanashley How much hard drive space did you get back? #
15:34 I can't repeat myself any more than I already have. Open your ears. Stop wasting my time. 30 minutes to go. #
16:45 Brew day!!! #fb #

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2009-08-27T23:02:00.001-04:00

13:31 Well at least this ringback music is from Carmen. #
13:33 Clarification – Carmen, the Opera. Not the evangelical singer #
13:51 Received notification from Apple that Snow Leopard has shipped with a delivery date of tomorrow. #
21:55 Damn Warner Robins..... Nice run and all. #

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2009-08-26T23:02:00.001-04:00

00:01 @Ludakit Congrats!!!! I knew your luck had to change!!! #
00:03 Just wrote a glowing email about the casino staff @TuscanyCasino #
00:04 No really. The casino staff @tuscanycasino was off the chain. Best gaming experience I've had in a long time!! The strip should take notice. #
07:46 Wow, big some big steps forward on the 14th street project in the last two weeks. #
09:15 YES!!! @Cndktr, Please do what @davedaly said. Also, tell Ethan Hunt I said hello. #
14:25 If I talk to one more teacher that uses the word "ax" for "ask" I'm going to scream. Let's get education right before we tackle healthcare #
18:27 Just gave the big middle finger to Robinson Sanitation. Going to Cycle Works Sanit. saving over $10/mo and we get yard and recycling incl. #
20:25 @pezgirl13 Thanks for the heads up! #
20:45 Due to Senator Kennedy's death, The Today Show piece shot in Vegas is now scheduled to air September 1st. #fb #
21:21 @davedaly Robinson was charging us $75/qtr for trash, yard waste, and a gas "surcharge". Cycle is $45/qtr, includes the above plus recycling #
21:30 @davedaly All I did was answer the door. Effin' solicitors...saving me money and stuff. #

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2009-08-25T23:02:00.001-04:00

22:05 Watched War of the Worlds last night, glad I didn't pay for it. #
22:10 @brettbawcum Well at least it was a happy swim. Try putting it into a container of rice for the night. #
22:43 On the other hand, Dead Like Me; Life After Death, was quite entertaining. #fb #
11:17 @blurb The healthcare debate can not be settled in 30 min. w/ charts and graphs from one side. It's a little more complicated than that. #
20:03 @chuckmonster @fivehundy @hunter Any hotel deals at The Palms f or Podcast-a-palooza? #
20:26 @Hunter No worries. Thanks for the info. #
20:26 @fivehundy Crap, that's why that hooker charged me so much. #
20:29 @juliusrobberts I use twitterfon for my personal account and twitterific for my work account. I like t-fon better. #

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2009-08-24T23:02:00.001-04:00

11:35 @pezgirl13 just sent you an email a little while ago. Let me know of you didn't get it. #
17:00 @alanashley Ok, I think I did it. Let me know if you can see me now. #
17:06 Just preordered Snow Leopard. This is my geeky face. #
20:18 @misteroubre Nope, the new Mac OS. #
20:19 @brettbawcum Excellent purchase, but how's the iPhone? #

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Viva, Marietta?

2009-08-24T01:35:00.003-04:00

After spending 13 days and 12 nights in Las Vegas, I can say two things. 1) I miss Vegas and 2) I'm glad to be home.

The trip itself was very good. On the business side, I think The Today Show piece on the 2 conventions will turn out very very well. As a bonus, Jenna Wolfe is as nice and down to Earth as she is smoking hot. Her work out routines as fucking of the chart intense. If you think you have a shot at Jenna, you don't. She has the ability to kill you with one Achille's heel and a smile.

On the fun side, I had good food, drinks and fun. Despite coming home down in money, which is to be expected, I had so many lucky hands, pulls and wins, I made my hetero-travel-partner Kit, look worse than a 100-1 horse with 2 and a half legs.

Kit seriously couldn't buy a hand the entire time. But to his credit, I don't have a friend who could take the beating like he did. He got his soul sucked out through a deck of cards and pair of dice with style, grace, dignity and the ability to order another drink with the wave of his pinky (finger). He's a gambler, he knows it, and at that end of the day, he's knows that "luck is odds taken personally."

I have lots of stories, but no energy. I can't believe how much Tess grew while I was gone.

Beer Pong; Still never a good idea

Beer this

Watch This

Whiskey this

Sick this

2011 Recap

Quick note to Tess

Hi Internet! *Waves frantically*

Quick note to Tess

iPad RSS Readers

Penn and Teller

What's On My iPhone Home Screen

Quick note to Tess

Rule for Tess

Welcome home Tess

Tess - 20 months

My year in entertainment

Tess - 17 months

Tess - 16 months

Tess - 13.5 months

Tess - Parenting scare

Tess - 12 months

Moving back

Packing up and moving

National health care. Woo-Hoo!

FOOD!

Really? This is the best you have?

2009 Russell

Dream this.

Tess - 9 Months

What going outside is like

Flick this

White whining

My job is awesome!!!

Tess - 8 months

Advice

An email from Tess's daycare

Tess - 6.5 months

Recall this

Tess - 4.5 months

SPLASH!!! Can you hear me now?

Tess's new favorite song

Tess - 4 months

Tess - Your name

Tess - Month 3 The Saga Continues

Viva, Marietta?

Hi Internet! Waves frantically